You Bet Your Life
1950
Groucho: Why do you have so many children? Female Contestant: Well, I love my husband very much. Groucho: Hey, I enjoy a good cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Groucho: If we got together as an act, what would it be called? Contestant: It would be Gonzales-Gonzales and Marx. Groucho: (to audience) Do you believe that? Two men in the act, and I get third billing!
Announcer: Our next contestants are Marika Aba... Groucho: And a happy new year.
Groucho: May I kiss your wife? Contestant: That would have to be over my dead body. Groucho: Have it your way. Fenneman, get the gun!
Female Contestant: I met this gentleman in Laguna Beach... Groucho: There *are* no gentlemen in Laguna Beach. Female Contestant: Well, this gentleman is now abroad. Groucho: (pause while the audience titters) Couldn't be Christine, could it?
Contestant: (Groucho has just asked a question) Well, I believe in doing it the old-fashioned way. Groucho: (Groucho looks down and smiles. The audience begins to giggle. Groucho then looks up) You know I must have some reputation. There isn't anything anyone can say on this stage that won't evoke some kind of a dirty laugh from the audience... (trying to keep from laughing) What do you mean, 'the old fashioned-way'? (loses all seriousness, doubles over laughing)