Without a Paddle

2004

(Billy's Spanish girlfriend rubs herself on his casket) Dan Mott: Billy's dead and he still has a better chance of getting laid than I do.

Del Knox: You boys better get dressed faster 'cause I been up here alone for almost 30 years now.

Dan Mott: The only chance we have to survive is to huddle together for warmth... Jerry Conlaine: I, for one, choose death.

Jerry Conlaine: I christen this, Duke the second! (smashes beer bottle on canoe) River Guide: Thanks for breaking glass where my kids play.

Dan Mott: Whoa... Matrix.

Dan Mott: Stop it! Stop it! SHUT UP! I AM DOCTOR MOTT!

Jerry Conlaine: Well I was a boyscout, you were a boyscout too right Tom? Tom Marshall: No but I ate a brownie once.

Tom Marshall: Is this Billy's funeral? Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood? Jerry Conlaine: Tom! Tom Marshall: Where'd you guys park?

Jerry Conlaine: Come on, Dan. It's like when we'd jump off the railroad bridge into the river when we were kids. This is... higher than that... Dan Mott: But I never *did* jump in the river! You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking!

Jerry Conlaine: Come back to bed, you guys. I'm freezing. Tom Marshall: Not until he puts Jabba back in his Hut!

Dan Mott: Mmm, bacon. Del Knox: Squirrel. Dan Mott: Mmm... squirrel.

Dan Mott: Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that! (Deer growls)

Tom Marshall: He won't bother you if you're in the fetal position... Abort the fetal position!

Dan Mott: Stop, drop, and roll!

Dan Mott: What are you doing? Jerry Conlaine: Taking off my shoes Dan Mott: Why? Jerry Conlaine: Because I run faster with no shoes Dan Mott: You can't out-run that bear! Jerry Conlaine: I dont have to out-run the bear, I just have to out-run you!

Jerry Conlaine: Wait a second. Tom, were you really employee of the month? Tom Marshall: No! I lied about that too!

Dan Mott: This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home. Tom Marshall: I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone... he liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And... hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.

Dan Mott: (doing his best c3p0 voice) We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being... how do you human's say it? Completely screwed.

Dan Mott: Where are we? Jerry Conlaine: Corner of Bumfuck and You Got a Pretty Mouth.

Dan Mott: Hey, that sounds like Creed. Tom Marshall: I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed.

Tom Marshall: (urging dan to climb through a hole) Come on Dan, your the only one small enough to get through. Jerry Conlaine: That's what she said.

(repeated line) Elwood: How do ya like me now?

Jerry Conlaine: I'm what neurologists call slow!

Jerry Conlaine: When we get out of this someone's buying a round of drinks, not it. Tom Marshall: Not it. Dan Mott: Is there beer in heaven? Jerry Conlaine: I was thinking more the bar in town.

Denise: Can you please be serious for 5 minutes? Jerry Conlaine: My record is 4 but I think I can do it.

Dan Mott: We should just... go home! Tom Marshall: Yeah, that's a great idea! We'll just jump over that hundred foot waterfall, swim twenty miles upstream, get the sheriff on the phone, he liked us, I remember, and he'll send out a rescue! Hey, look, there's a beer in the water!

Dennis: (hearing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" being sung from beneath) The hills have gone gay.

Dennis: Where the hell did they get all this poop?

(after finding the guys while singing "Do you Really Want to Hurt Me") Dennis, Elwood: (singing) Yes we really want to hurt you. Yes we really want to make you cry. Yes we really want to shoot you. Yes we really want to make you DIE.

Del Knox: Whatever it is you guy are looking for, you gotta go out there and get it right now. (Tom, Jerry, and Dan get up to leave despite the rain) Not right now you idiots.

Jerry Conlaine: (laying in the boat, after rapid riding) I about shit. Did you about shit? Tom Marshall: I about shit. Dan Mott: I did shit. Jerry Conlaine: Oh shit! Dan Mott: What? Oh, shit!? Oh, shit! What? Oh, shit? Dan Mott: (while falling off the waterfall) (all together shout) Oh, shit!

Tom Marshall: I'm not an astronaut, I'm an American.

River Guide: So... are you a class... 4,5? Tom Marshall: Yeah? Yeah? Why don't you try to put those numbers together. Yeah. I shot a class 45, and haven't lost a man yet.

River Guide: So... are you a class... 4,5? Tom Marshall: Yeah? Yeah? Why don't you try to put those numbers together. Yeah. I shot a class 45, and haven't lost a man yet. River Guide: Lie to me! I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to drown.

River Guide: There's a transmitter in the canoe. So just in case you three go missing, at least we'll get our boat back.

Elwood: How you like me now?! Huh? How you like me now, fishie? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk - cause you don't have a head!

Del Knox: Come with me, or I'll shoot your testicles off and stuff 'em and mount 'em on my mantlepiece. Tom Marshall: That's gonna be an ugly mantlepiece.

Find these movie quotes interesting? Enjoy more classic quotes:

« Without A Clue56 Quotes Home Without A Trace »