White Collar Blue
2002 (TV)
(Joe is discussing his plans for the evening) Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I'm looking for something a little more... Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: Exciting? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Exciting. Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: You know what your problem is Thrills? You solve a big case and you've got to come down, I've seen it before. You need to do something wild to keep the juices flowing. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Like what? Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: In the old days I would've said go down to the pub and get into a fight. (Joe gets up to leave) Uh-uh, I said that was the old days. These days we live in touchy-feely times. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: No disrespect, boss, but I don't exactly want to get touchy-feely with you. Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: That's a shame, I shaved awfully close. (Laughs) Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: So what do you suggest? Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: Think happy thoughts. Have a merangue. Have six more of these. (pushes beers towards him) Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: (toasts) To misery. Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: To misery, Thrills. Have a good night. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Bye, boss. (Ted leaves the office. Joe continues drinking)
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: (to Fran at his door) Tell your daughter to give me a call. Fran Hoffmann: She's downstairs in the car, actually. We're going out to dinner. We're celebrating. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: What's the occasion? Fran Hoffmann: I'm going back to wrok in a few weeks. Want to join us? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Who's paying? (sighs) Hmm? Come on, what's the catch? Fran Hoffmann: That's so typical of you, Joe. You think everyone's got an ulterior motive. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Alright, thank you for asking. I accept. Fran Hoffmann: Good. You can keep Lachlan busy while I talk to my daughter. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I knew there was a catch. There's no way I'm spending my Tuesday night watching that prick feed your daughter garlic bread. Fran Hoffmann: Now look, (takes Joe's keys from his hand) I'm going to spend some quality time with my daughter and you're going to talk to Lachlan. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Give me my keys, that's theft! Give them back. Fran Hoffmann: Then arrest me. (she walks downstairs - Joe sighs, and follows)
Daphne Mullins: (about a murder victim) I see Mr.Gibson every six months to sign forms. Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: What sort of forms are those? Daphne Mullins: Green ones.
Nicole Brown: (discussing a theif's motive) Maybe that's why he did it. Got sick of being walked all over. Of being Rory Snory. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: (hands her a box of Viagra he found) Don't judge a book by its cover. Nicole Brown: Viagra. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Pills of Thrills. (Nicole chuckles) You hungry? Want to get something to eat? Nicole Brown: (hands Viagra back) Strictly business? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Don't be ridiculous, Constable Brown, of course. Hey... want to try these out? (both laugh) How long would it take a woman? Nicole Brown: Don't know. Ask Theo.
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Constable Brown? Nicole Brown: Sorry, I was just thinking about that bed. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: My bed? (raises eyebrows mischeviously) Nicole Brown: Very funny.
Lachlan Shaw: I like that dress. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Thank you. Lachlan Shaw: (Hugs her) Wonder what it would look like on the floor. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: (quietly) My mum's joining us for dinner. Lachlan Shaw: (Turns and sees Harriet's mum watching them) What a nice surprise!
Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: (holds up set of keys) Could you please drop these off to my mum? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I'd rather stick needles in my eye. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Come on, just throw them at her and run. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: I will. (takes keys begrudginly)
Constable Sophia Marinkovitch: (catching Theo) Theo, wait. Look, um, I know that things have been weird between us for a while and I know I said that work relationships can't... work, but maybe they can, I don't know. But the thing is, I know I said I didn't want things to go any further between us, and maybe I do, now. Look, I've finally decided on something I need to do, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm willing to take the risk if you are. (she turns and leaves a very stunned Theo)
Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: (at an open house, just before an auction) Yes, there's still a fair amount of blood in between the floorboards. See that. (Gestures to client) You're the forensic boys, aren't you? Client: No. Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: Oh, sorry. (extends his hand) Detective Chief Ted Hudson, from Kingsway. I'm just finalizing a murder inspection here. (points to floor) Got a lot of blood. It's amazing how difficult it is to get out. And that smell... smell that? You never get it out. Ever. (stands) Still, it's a pretty good place. I like those little lights. I love them. (leaves bewildered clients) Auctioneer: Who will open the bidding? Anybody? (no one is bidding. Ted shrugs)
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: If my uncle were a woman, well, he'd be my auntie.
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: (sees a suspect coming towards Harriet and his survelliance car) Shit! (Grabs Harriet and begins to kiss her. The suspect passes in front of the car and Joe lets her go) No need to thank me. I just saved your life.
Constable Sophia Marinkovitch: (waking up with Theo) Sleeping with your work partner, isn't that pretty high on the list of dumb things to do?
Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: (in a tuxedo after sleeping over at Sophie's) I feel like such an idiot dressed like this. Constable Sophia Marinkovitch: Don't worry, you look great. Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: Yeah, it's a good thing your underwear fit me.
Gemma Mancuzzo: Ah, Theo, nice to see you dressed for the occasion. Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: (in tuxedo) Yeah, well, I'd knew you'd be here, Gemma.
Gemma Mancuzzo: Oh, Theo, you angling for a promotion or something? Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: (in tuxedo) Yeah, I want your job, Gemma. Gemma Mancuzzo: Good luck.
Jimmy: (very large prisonner) Bastards, those cops. (to Joe and Harriet) You're not cops are you? Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: No, no. We're government excorts.
Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: You don't put out a fire with petrol!
(Joe is trying to get out of sleeping in the same room as a snoring prisonner) Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Can I sleep in here? We can go top to toe, or something. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Well, he's not going anywhere, how about a walk? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Sure, on the beach or something. Or a bar. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Yeah, sounds good.
Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: (trying to argue her way out of going on a trip to a tropical island for a prisonner exchange) I've go to have dinner with my mother tonight, Joe. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Tongan, or dinner with the Fuhrer? Pretty hard choice, isn't it, Harriet? Come on, we're going away to a tropical paradise! Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: It's not going to be a tropical paradise, Joe, you know what those islands are like. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Yeah, sandy beaches. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Cyclones. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Moonlit lagoons. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Military coos. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Cocktails by the pool. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: What if our flight is cancelled and we can't get back? Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Cyclones? Military coos? Cancelled flights? You're coming up with some pretty flimsy excuses why you don't want to go away. Is it the company? Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: Don't be ridiculous. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Are you worried about spending time alone with me on a tropical island? Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: I have not problem being alone with you, Joe Hill. Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: Good. Then go home and pack your bags cause we're due back here in 45 minutes. Oh, and bring your bathing suit.
Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: (anwsering phone) Hello? Detective Marinkovitch's phone. (beat) Do I sound like Sophie Marinkovitch? Can you call back later please? Thank you.
Det. Snr. Sgt. Ted Hudson: (to Theo and Sophie) What are you two pixies doing? Snr. Constable Theo Rahme: (checking survelliance tapes) Watching TV, boss.
Det. Sgt. Joe Hill: (offering keys to escort for a hotel room) Here you go. Enjoy. Det. Snr. Constable Harriet Walker: (stealing the other keys from his hand for the room next door) It's a double bed, Joe. I'm sure you'll be fine. (she leaves. Joe looks dejectedly at his roommate)