Werewolf
1996
Sam the Keeper: Strange things a-happenin, strange things a-doin, strange things a-goin on.
Natalie: What are you hiding from me, Noel? Tell me the truth! Noel: In due time, you'll know everything. Natalie: Well, maybe then it's too late!
Natalie: Wuur-wilf? You mean Joel thinks this thing is a wuur-wilf?
Natalie: What's wrong? Paul! Paul Niles: I don't know. It's like a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I was running in the streets... doing "things".
Joel: Whatcha got there? Bill: Silver Bullet! Joel: Huh! Me Too!
Sam the Keeper: Mr Niles, I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot! Paul Niles: Huh, Is that so? Sam the Keeper: Hey, you don't have to believe me but that's the facts!
Noel: They can also tell when a man is Yalloglanchie. He takes on a series of strange body habits, like sleeping like a coyote, nose to anus. The house begins to smell like coyote urine.
Sam the Keeper: I was just praying for the police! I think we should call the cops!
Noel: Look Yuri, What the hell is wrong with you? I suggest you stay out here and get sober before you rejoin the party and when you do your gonna apologize to Natalie! Now go take a walk! (walks away) Yuri: Yeah, I'll take a walk! (gives a disgusted look at the camera)
Taxi Driver: Uh, no, sir, a lot has changed. If you stick around you'll find out for yourself! Just the other night, half-man, half-beast got shot down! They took 'em to the hospital he's in a coma! The Police are investigating, its been all over My radio!
Paul Niles: Do you always greet people with a gun in your hand? Sam the Keeper: What this? This is just to keep the flies down! There's some weird things happening around here!
Yuri: Where the hell have you been? Do you know what time it is? Where the hell is Tommy? Bill: (spits) Here we go again. Yuri: Hey I'm talking to you! Joel: Look man! Tommy's at City Emergency Hospital He's sick! Bill: Yeah he's turning in... (Joel motions Bill to be quiet) Joel: He's real sick! Yuri: What's wrong with him? Joel: He got an infection from that thing he got cut on yesterday, that's all I know. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to work. Yuri: Good!
Sam the Keeper: (after surviving a confrontation with Paul the Werewolf, to the audience) I'm the good guy!
Sam the Keeper: What's going on here? Oh my god? Help me? Holy Jesus God Father?
Natalie: (totally flat and lifeless) This is absolutely fascinating...