Two for the Road
1967
(Before getting married, hitchhikers Mark and Joanna spend a night in a hotel together) Mark Wallace: This is completely against my principles. Joanna Wallace: Good. I hate to think that it happened all the time. Mark Wallace: I had absolutely no intention of sleeping in hotels.
Joanna Wallace: (upset) You just want me to become a beautiful memory, the sooner the better! Mark Wallace: Who said anything about beautiful?
Mark Wallace: I thought we agreed before we were married that we weren't going to have any children. Joanna Wallace: And before we were married we *didn't* have any children.
(Mark and Joanna see a bickering couple) Mark Wallace: That's marriage for you. Joanna Wallace: That's marriage for *them*. Mark Wallace: That's marriage - full stop.
Mark Wallace: My skin is made of asbestos.
Mark Wallace: Are you a virgin? (Joanna seems shocked by the question) Mark Wallace: I was for two years at the University of Chicago. Joanna Wallace: Studying virgin detection?
Mark Wallace: It's really meant for photographing three-dimensional objects. Joanna Wallace: I'm three dimensional, as a matter of fact.
Mark Wallace: Darling, what's French for 'Inspector, I don't believe a word you're saying and you're not gonna get a damn penny?' Joanna Wallace: 'Oui, monsieur.'
Mark Wallace: If there's one thing I really despise, it's an indispensable woman.
Mark Wallace: Bitch. Joanna Wallace: Bastard.
Mark Wallace: Just wish that you'd stop sniping. Joanna Wallace: I haven't said a word! Mark Wallace: Just because you use a silencer doesn't mean you're not a sniper.
(Joanna waves her hand suspiciously over her drink) Mark Wallace: What are you doing? Joanna Wallace: Just trying to discover where the strings are attached.
Mark Wallace: What kind of people just sit in a restaurant and don't say one word to each other? Joanna Wallace: Married people?
Ruth Manchester: (after Howard knocks the luggage off the top of the car by driving into a low beam carport) Daddy, did you do that on purpose? Howard Manchester: No, Ruthie, I didn't. No, I did not. No, Ruthie. No.
Joanna Wallace: (referring to a pair of newlyweds seated in the back of a Rolls Royce) They don't look very happy. Mark Wallace: Why should they? They just got married.