Tremors 3: Back to Perfection
2001 (V)
(as an ass blaster groans over Burt's compound) Burt: Not to worry, my perimeter is completely Graboid proof. Jodi Chang: But is it ass blaster proof.
(after Burt blows up a shrieker herd) Jack: Holy Sheeit! he doesn't fool around. Jodi Chang: Burt is very uh, committed.
Jack: I've been listening to my inner voice, and it's tellin' me that you and I are destined to work together. What do ya think? Burt: I think if I had an inner voice, it'd be tellin' me to tell you to get lost. (drives off) Jack: Well, uh just give it some time. You just think about it and get back to me now.
(to the federal agents) Burt: You guys just do what you do best. Find something simple and complicate it!
Burt: Have you heard from the feds? Jack: Not since this morning. Haven't been able to raise 'em. They were chasing a Graboid. Burt: They were chasing it? It wasn't chasing them?
Burt: Is your head up your ass for the warmth?
(Jack notices chains attached to the back of Burt's truck) Jack: Somebody gettin' married?
(after Burt blows up his home to keep the assblaster from eating the food, and finding out food stops them) Burt: What kind of supreme being would condone such irony?
(after Burt gets dug up from a Graboid stomach) Burt: I prefer... we keep this... to ourselves. Jodi Chang: Oh, you guys definitely need to be supervised.
Burt: And people called me paranoid. Jack: I never thought you were paraniod Miguel: I did (Under his breath) Miguel: but not no more.
(after Burt kills 100 shriekers with an anti-aircraft gumn mount) Burt: Any questions?
Miguel: The BLM man gave me permission to kill anything that represented a danger to my cattle. El lobo, el coyote, and el Graboid.
(Suggesting names for the flying monsters) Jodi Chang: Assblasters. How's that? Jack: Sounds like a porno film.
Burt: The little turd!
Jodi Chang: Anybody got a lighter? Jack: Burt's got one. Burt: What makes you think that? Jack: 'Cause... You're Burt. Burt: (Presenting lighter) Damn right I am.
Jodi Chang: Well, we discovered it right? Just like the other ones. We should name it... how about buttlauncher?
Jack: The universe provides. Jodi Chang: The universe provides a boat? Jack: And a blue tarp! C'mon!
Burt: Well, lets asses the situation. Jack: We're screwed. Jodi Chang: We're screwed in an outhouse.
(a graboid is just outside Burt's fence) Burt: Now, if you'll kindly lean your endangered carcass over my property line, we'll call your untimely demise 'self defense'.
Burt: (handing Jack a gun) You do know which end the bullets come out? Jack: I've seen movies.
(Melvin is trying to convince Burt to sell his house and land) Melvin Plug: C'mon Burt, what do you say? Burt: I say I'll give you a ten-second head start.