Topper
1937
George Kerby: My pet, resting's the sort of thing you've got to work up to gradually... very dangerous to rest all of a sudden.
Marion Kerby: Hey, George, is this 10: 30 in the morning? George Kerby: No, this is Topper's bank.
Cosmo Topper: Good morning, Clara. Mrs Topper: Good morning, dear. You're late. Cosmo Topper: Oh... better late than never. Only 44 seconds, anyhow.
(Topper reading annual report of his bank) Cosmo Topper: Bullion abroad and in transit, thirteen million, two hundred and two thousand, eight hundred and fifty-four dollars and no cents. George Kerby: No sense. Cosmo Topper: I just said that, Mr Kerby. George Kerby: So did I.
Marion Kerby: Why don't you stop being a mummy for a few minutes and come to life? Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a mummy if you had any fun getting that way. Cosmo Topper: But I... I didn't, you see. Marion Kerby: No, I can tell that by the way you're staring at my knees.
Cosmo Topper: So I'm a ditherer? Well, I'm jolly well going to dither, then!
Secretary: Well, bless my blonde heart!
Hotel Manager: Perhaps you can explain the red on this cigarette. Cosmo Topper: Yes, I... cut my tongue when I was shaving this morning.
Marion Kerby: Let's go have some dinner. Cosmo Topper: Oh no, we cannot eat on an empty stomach! Marion Kerby: Then we better have a few drinks first!
Kerby, George: Say, if I'm in the way, you folks could leave.
Cosmo Topper: My wife objects to drinking. George Kerby: Then she shouldn't drink. Cosmo Topper: She doesn't. George Kerby: What's her objection?