To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
1995
Noxeema Jackson: Approval neither desired nor required.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Go on Vida and talk to him, you speak honky!
Carol Ann: Vida I do not think of you as a man and I do not think of you as a woman (pause) I think of you as an angel. Vida Boheme: I think that's Healthy!
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I didn't ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don't think so! Did I ask you to be making me over and jump all kinds of hoops like some circus poodle? No, I don't think so! Do I want to go to jail because of some cop killer? No, I don't think so! So as soon as we get to the next town I am jumping on the first man and riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered up, stuck up putas 'cause this trip sucks! It sucks!
Noxeema Jackson: I am not going upstairs with you. I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy!
Noxeema Jackson: Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?
Noxeema Jackson: When a straight man puts on a dress and goes on a sexual kick he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation he is a Transsexual. When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!
Noxeema Jackson: You look like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you!
Vida Boheme: I feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield in this car. Noxeema Jackson: Oooh, Jayne Mansfield. Not a very good auto reference.
(choosing a car) Vida Boheme: Well pumpkins, it comes down to that age-old decision: style... or... substance?
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: If I were bread, would you be my butter?
Noxeema Jackson: Larger than life is just the right size.
Noxeema Jackson: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for a single gender, he is a drag queen.
Vida Boheme: Sometimes it just takes a fairy.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I'm the latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
Vida Boheme: What in gay hell?
Vida Boheme: Internal combustion, the ultimate accessory.
Vida Boheme: Maps are for cheaters.
Vida Boheme: I'm not rich, my parents are.
Vida Boheme: And who would think that this ebony enchantress would one day share a title with moi?
Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.
Vida Boheme: It's like living in a Tex Avery cartoon.
Vida Boheme: You know, pumpkins, sometimes it just takes a fairy.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I'm a looser, I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate everything! Vida Boheme: Oh no! No You're a winner, why you look like! You are a winner!
Vida Boheme: Ready or not, here comes mama!
Vida Boheme: Here is where they asked young Vida to stop imitating Esther Williams in Million Dollar Mermaid.
(after Billy Ray comes to ask a girl out) Vida Boheme: I declare. Bobby Lee: I declare. Carol Ann: *I* declare. Noxeema Jackson: I decline.
Noxeema Jackson: I'll bet you were the brightest in your class, weren't you?
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt: Oh, my God, I'm like a compass near north.
Bobby Ray: Don't cry, Miss Chi-Chi, please don't cry... Miss Chi-Chi, if you were my girl, you'd never cry for anything, except... maybe... for happiness.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: (as Vida beats up Virgil) There's something you need to know about Vida... She... Noxeema Jackson: (quickly) Vida works out. Yeah, Vida works out. Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: A lot!
Vida Boheme: Hun, do you like, ever not cry in this room?
(possibly dead Sheriff Dullard is looking for the owner of a frilly shoe) Clara: Can I have my shoe please? Sheriff Dollard: (disbelieving) You're a drag queen? Clara: Nothin' this pretty could be real.
Noxeema Jackson: Do you like my nails?