Threesome
1994
Stuart: How did we get on the ceiling? Eddie: Did you pay the gravity bill this morning? Stuart: I forgot!
Alex: If you eat my yogurt again, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. Stuart: You make murder sound so sexual, Alex.
Stuart: Sex is kinda like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Stuart: Straight sex is better than gay sex, it's written in the Bible. Alex: Is that in the King James or the New World Edition?
Alex: You have the hots for me, I have the hots for him, and sooner or later he's gonna have the hots for you. Eddie: Sounds pretty hot to me.
Alex: If you're so hot on the idea, why don't you have sex with him? Stuart: Taste of semen makes me gag. Alex: How would you know? Whose semen were you eating? Stuart: My own.
Alex: Oh, I am so sick of this shit, it's not NORMAL! It's not NORMAL the three of us LIVING TOGETHER! I am so sick of falling for guys who don't give a fuck about me! I need help! I need a facial! I need to go on a diet! I need money! I need new shoes! Oh, God, just do something!
Stuart: Why didn't you just fuck her? Eddie: Yeah, right! Stuart: Eddy, the girl was ripping your pants off with her teeth. She's in the perfect position, at least get a blowjob!
Stuart: I'm telling you. If you don't have sex soon, you dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina.
Alex: What are you doing in here? Eddie: Our room has a foul and mysterious odor. Alex: So clean it, you used to be a clean person. Eddie: That was before I moved in with him. I used to make hospital corners, now I don't even change the sheets
(On Catcher In The Rye) Stuart: It's a great book, you're going to love it. Alex: I've read it four times. Stuart: I've often felt like the main character, Holden Caulfield... Eddie: No, no, he's Stratladder, the obnoxious room-mate who thinks he's it.
Eddie: Pandora's proverbial box had been opened, and what's more, none of us were sure that we wanted it closed again.
Eddie: If Alex and Stuart were genetically merged into one person, he or she would've been the love of my life.
Alex: I find libraries very erotic.
Eddie: I wonder how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?
Eddie: Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure. But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip