Thir13en Ghosts
2001
Maggie: Did the lawyer split?
Maggie: Can I rely on you not to get me killed? Rafkin: I guarantee nothing.
Rafkin: I'm getting my ass out of the big glass house!
Rafkin: In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a freak! I get within ten feet of anything dead, and I go into seizures, I touch anyone, and a whole lifetime of shit flashes in front of my eyes!
Maggie: Family, just so we're all clear, Ms Maggie does *not* do windows.
Maggie: This is it for me. I'm on the first fuckin' plane back to Newark. I'm sorry, family, Bobby, Kathy, uncle, ghosts. I am sick of this nanny shit. I've had it. This was not in the job description. I QUIT!
Rafkin: If you have something to say, just say it. Kalina: Oh okay then... why don't we start with: THIS IS ALL YOUR GOD-DAMN FAULT!
Kalina: We have ten minutes until the ectoplasmic shit hits the fan.
Rafkin: There are ghosts in the basement! Maggie: This basement? Rafkin: Of course this basement! What is it with you people? If it was the basement next door I wouldn't give a shit, would I?
(Rafkin psychically probes the junkyard, then yells out in pain) Rafkin: You son of a bitch! You said he only killed 9 people, there's over 40 victims here! Cyrus: Nine while he was alive, he's added a few since then.
Maggie: (in background talking to herself) Stuck in here, bunch of crazy white people...
Rafkin: Did I say there's a petting zoo in the basement? NO there are ghosts in the basement Arthur!
Rafkin: I hate my job.
Rafkin: (a ghost scares him) AHHHHHH! I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT!
Kalina Oretzia: Who are you to play God? Cyrus Kriticos: Playing is for children.
Maggie Bess: Bobby, don't call your sister a slut. Kathy Kriticos: Thank you, Maggie. Maggie Bess: I prefer the term 'bitch'.
Arthur Kriticos: He wasn't too popular. My dad said he squandered the family fortune. Kathy Kriticos: We have a family fortune? Arthur Kriticos: Well, no. Cyrus squandered it.
Maggie Bess: Hey, Bobby, isn't that great, you got a late uncle. Robert 'Bobby' Kriticos: What's he late for? Kathy Kriticos: His next birthday.
Kathy Kriticos: Bathrooms. Bathrooms! Everyone gets their own bathrooms!
(seeing their new glass house) Kathy Kriticos: I sure hope the bathroom's in the basement...
Arthur Kriticos: First rule: no throwing stones.
Rafkin: I know this is gonna sound completely whacked, all right? But just - just stay with me. I used to hunt displaced spiritual energies with your uncle. Arthur Kriticos: I'm sorry? Rafkin: Uhh, P.K. agents. Revenants. Uh, uh, uh - Like wraiths. Wraiths? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? Arthur Kriticos: (chuckling nervously and shaking his head "No") Uhh... Rafkin: That's okay. That's okay, I - I'll do this the easy way. Ghosts, Arthur. I used to - I used to hunt ghosts with your uncle Cyrus. Arthur Kriticos: (after a pause) Goats? Rafkin: GHOSTS! Ghosts, goddammit! Listen to me!
Arthur Kriticos: I told them not to leave this spot. Dennis Rafkin: They're kids - what do you expect? Arthur Kriticos: Yeah, well thank you Dr Phil.
Dennis Rafkin: Hey, Glass Family Robinson, you're wasting your breath!
Dennis Rafkin: Oh Cyrus, you crazy son of a bitch, what did you do?
Arthur Kriticos: Okay, I want you guys to stay right here. Don't move. Kathy Kriticos: Dad, you're being paranoid and over-protective. Arthur Kriticos: Yeah, of all this stuff!
Dennis Rafkin: Hey bro... You ain't nothin' but a BITCH!
Rafkin: Oh, boy! Maggie: What? Rafkin: Uh, that's the symbol of the Jackal. Maggie: What's the Jackal? Rafkin: The Jackal is the Charlie Manson of Ghosts.