The Year Without a Santa Claus
1974 (TV)
Snow Miser: So, Mrs C., how's your hubby? Mrs Santa: Not too good, Snowy, he's got a bad cold. Snow Miser: Aw, that's a shame. He should've come to see me, I'd've given him a good one. HO HA HO... a little chilly humor, there.
Heat Miser: Oh, some like it hot, but I like it REALLY hot.
Santa Claus: All right. What are you up to? Mrs Santa: Up to? Do I look like I'm up to something? Santa Claus: No, you don't look like you're up to something, but whenever you look like you're not up to ANYTHING, you're up to something.
Mrs Santa: No fighting, you two. Snow Miser: Well, if I can't have any fun I might as well leave.
Snow Miser: Don't be such a stranger. Come around with your husband, we'll have a blizzard. Ha ha ha ha.
Heat Miser: Well, well, Mrs Claus. How's your husband doing? Out doing another commercial for my brother? Mrs Santa: Oh come now. You know he's not on your brother's payroll.
Mrs Santa: Would you mind doing us a favor? Heat Miser: I don't see why I should. No one ever does anything for me. What is it? Mrs Santa: Could you let it snow in the south for one day? Heat Miser: WHAT? SNOW IN THE SOUTH? Mrs Santa: Just for one day? Heat Miser: NEVER. (thinks for a few seconds) Hmmm... unless of course... there was... you know... something in it for me?
Dr Bobbin: And for what? Just to deliver presents to a bunch of folks who don't give a hoot in the first place. Mrs Santa: Now, now, Doctor. It's not just presents and you know it. What about all that Christmas spirit and good will? Dr Bobbin: If you had any sense, you'd give it up as a bad job and stay home in bed this year. Mrs Santa: Oh come now, if Santa stayed home, why there would be no Christmas. Dr Bobbin: Who cares? Nobody cares about Christmas anymore. Santa Claus: They don't? Dr Bobbin: Of course not. Wouldn't surprise me none if nobody even believed in you anymore. Mrs Santa: Now Santa, don't you pay him any mind. Dr Bobbin: Nobody cares a hoot and a holler for you or Christmas. Oh by the way, Merry Christmas to you.
Jingle Bells: (answers the phone) Hello? Jingle Bells, number 1 elf speaking. May I ask who is calling please? Oh, hi, Mrs Claus. Yes, Mrs Claus. Okay, Mrs Claus. Sure thing, Mrs Claus. Right away, Mrs Claus. (hangs up) Jangle Bells: Who was that? Jingle Bells: That was... Ooh.
Snow Miser's Men: He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mr Icicle, he's Mister 10 below. Snow Miser: They call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much.