The Wizard
1989
(about her mom) Haley: She packed it in. She was a showgirl. Great legs. I got her legs, what do you think?
Lucas: Hey, it's the wizard! I hope you don't get nervous like last time. We wouldn't want you to... "wiz" on someone!
Sam: I don't believe this. I got the scroll weapon, and I almost beat Mecha-Turtle at the end of level three!
Corey: It's like the Adventures of Link. He has to find Zelda, you have to find a house. Same difference! Haley: Boy, is THAT sexist. Corey: It's not sexist! It's... romantic.
Corey: So, according to this, we're in Goblin Valley. Great. I mean, I mean, I mean... it couldn't be Happy Valley or Wonderful Valley. Goblin Valley. Why not, Axe Murderer's Valley?
Putnam: Alright, I'm looking for a couple of kids. This one's a mental case, have you seen them? Pinball Teen: Does he dress like you? Putnam: No. Pinball Teen: Then he can't be too much of a case, alright?
Corey: Yeah, well, uh, just keep your Power Gloves off her, pal, huh?
Corey: 50,000! You scored 50,000 points on Double Dragon?
Lucas: I love the power glove, it's so bad.
Lucas: I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.
Nick: That cannot possibly be one of the four major food groups Sam: It's a casserole genius.
Haley: (shouts) Aaaaaaaah! He touched my breast!
(Sam is playing Zelda II The Adventures Of Link) Nick: Pop I think we got it. Sam: Wait a second. I'm on the sixth palace of Hyrule. Yeah! I got past the river devil. Nick: Terrific. (Turns off the Nintendo) Sam: What the hell are you doing? I had the magic key. I got the cross. I was closing in on the barbarian! Nick: You're losing it pop.
(Sam is driving) Sam: Hey where the hell are we? (eats a donut) Nick: What is that? Donuts? Sam: Yeah. So? Nick: That's disgusting. Sam: Ha ha. From the guy who steals my pickup, who stays up drinking. From the guy with a foul mouth, that's a compliment.
Corey: Two tickets to California. Bus Clerk: Do you have someplace specific in mind or do you just want to be dumped off at the border? Corey: Is Los Angeles specific enough?
Putnam: All right! All right! This is no need to get crazy. It's very hot. This is a professional matter. Sam: Yeah!
Nick: You know Bateman, I always knew that you were a jerk. I just until now thought that it was guilt by association.
Putnam: I want all of your driver's license numbers! All of you! I want your driver's license numbers! Spanky: So you touched her breast huh? Putnam: Oh my god!
Putnam: I touched her breast! She doesn't have breasts!
Haley: Corey! You're so *thick*!
Nick: You eat the casserole.