The Weather Man
2005
(from trailer) Dave Spritz: People don't throw things at me any more. Maybe because I carry a bow around.
(from trailer) Robert Spritz: Do you know that the harder thing to do, and the right thing to do, are usually the same thing? "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
Dave Spritz: Always fast food. Fast food. Things that people would rather throw out than finish. It's easy, it tastes all right, but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment. I'm fast food.
Dave Spritz: (thinking) I wish I had two dicks.
Robert Spritz: In this shit life, you have to chuck some things.
Shelly: I heard they make tires out of camel toes.
Robert Spritz: What happened to you? Dave Spritz: I got hit with a Frosty. Robert Spritz: Why did you get hit with a Frosty? Robert Spritz: What is a Frosty? Dave Spritz: It's a milkshake. Robert Spritz: Why did you get hit with a milkshake?
Shelly: These crutches are too fucking long.
(opening line) Dave Spritz: That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing.
Russ: Dave, step back right now. Dave Spritz: Fuck you right now.