The Three Musketeers
1993
Aramis (1 - nm0001624) : Athos (1 - nm0000221) :
Aramis (1 - nm0001624) : Porthos and: Athos (1 - nm0000221) :
Porthos: You, boy, are arrogant, hot tempered and entirely too bold. I like that. Reminds me of me. Aramis: Don't encourage him. By helping us the boy has made himself an outlaw as well. Athos: Not if he leaves Paris right now. D'Artagnan: I can't leave now, I just got here. Porthos: Go home. Find a wench, raise fat babies, live a good long life. D'Artagnan: What about the motto of the Musketeers? All for one and one for all. Athos: Wake up boy. The Musketeers are just a dream.
Porthos: Rochefort. Isn't that a smelly kind of cheese?
King Louis: You've failed. Cardinal Richelieu: Oh, you're so naive. Things couldn't be more perfect if I planned them myself. The King of France dies at the hands of his own personal guard. Grief stricken, terrified, the hudled masses turn for comfort to their devout spiritual leader who, ever so humbly, assumes the throne. With the Queen by his side. Queen Anne: I would rather die! Cardinal Richelieu: That can be arranged!
(the Queen is alone, contemplating a map of the world) Cardinal Richelieu: Homesick? Queen Anne: Cardinal Richelieu. You surprised me. Cardinal Richelieu: I often have that effect on people. I can't imagine why, I'm really a very gentle person. You seem a little unhappy in your new home. Queen Anne: Lonely. Is that the same thing? Cardinal Richelieu: Austria's loss is France's gain. Queen Anne: I'm not sure the King shares your opinion. We've barely spoken since our wedding day. Whenever we're together he seems so... uncertain. Cardinal Richelieu: Arranged marriages can be difficult. Your father and I thought yours would bring Austria and France closer together. Queen Anne: Well countries align more swiftly than people, I'm afraid. Cardinal Richelieu: What a pity. Love is, I think... wasted on the young.
(to Athos, in a whisper) Milady: There was a time when I would have given my life for a kind word from you.
Porthos: A lively tune... I'm inspired to dance!
King Louis: This world is an uncertain realm, filled with danger. Honor underminded by the pursuit of power, freedom sacrificed when the weak are oppressed by the strong. But there are those who oppose these powerful forces, who dedicate their lives to truth, honor, and freedom. These men are known as Musketeers. Rise, D'Artagnan, and join them.
(five Cardinal's guards ride up as Athos and D'Artagnan prepare to duel) Athos: Only a fool would try and arrest us twice in one day. Guard: You're under arrest. Aramis, Porthos: A fool. Guard: Are you coming peacefully or do you intend to resist? Porthos: Oh don't be so stupid, of course we intend to resist! Just give us a moment, all right? (to his comrades:) Porthos: Five of them, three of us. Hardly seems fair. Aramis: Maybe we should give them a chance to surrender. D'Artagnan: Excuse me, but there's four of us. Athos: It's not your fight. You're not a Musketeer. D'Artagnan: I may not wear the tunic, but I believe I have the heart of a Musketeer. Porthos: Warrior! Aramis: Poet! Athos: You got a name, boy? D'Artagnan: D'Artagnan. Athos: Athos, Porthos, Aramis. Porthos: Pleased to meet you again. Aramis: Pleasure. Porthos: Everyone acquainted? (the four whirl around and unsheathe their swords) Porthos: NOW, we are prepared to resist you!
D'Artagnan: So what do we do now? What's next? Porthos: Well, we protect the King. Aramis: Protect the Queen. Porthos: In the name of God. And France, correct? Aramis: France indeed. (Girard and his brothers have caught up with D'Artagnan. At the other end of the street they draw swords) Girard: D'Artagnan! My sister's honor will not wait a moment longer. D'Artagnan: I'll handle this. Porthos: D'Artganan, we also protect each other. D'Artagnan: All for one. Aramis, Porthos, Athos: And one for all. (Girard's eyes widen) Girard: RUN! (Girard and co are pursued by all the musketeers)
D'Artagnan: As morning hues of sunswept... Aramis: Fire! D'Artagnan: ... fire caress your... poisoned face. (Aramis looks pained. D'Artagnan gives up, and sweeps the bar maid into a kiss) Porthos: I declare, the boy's a natural!
(the three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinal's men in his own coach) Porthos: Champagne? Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos. Porthos: You're right - something red.
(During a chase, in the Cardinal's own coach) Porthos: For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent '24 Cabernet. Porthos: (to D'Artagnan) You can't have any, you're too young. Athos: Take the reins, boy.
Porthos: This sash was a gift to me, from the Queen of America. D'Artagnan: There's no queen of America! Porthos: I beg to differ, infant. We're on quite intimate terms, unless you can prove otherwise.
Porthos: The picnic was delicious, the champagne was excellent, remind me to send the Cardinal a note.
Cardinal Richelieu: All for one. And more for me.
Cardinal Richelieu: He is becoming as troublesome as his father. Rochefort: He is a foolish boy and barely that. Cardinal Richelieu: That foolish boy is about to become a man which is all the more reason for us to act quickly. Have our loose ends (the three musketeers) been tied up? Rochefort: Two patrols have been sent. Cardinal Richelieu: I trust, Captain Rochefort, that you are doing everything in your power to rid us of these rebels. Don't let having only one eye impair your vision. The loss of the other could be most... inconvenient.
(after finding out his student is married) Aramis: We must pray for our sins. (husband busts in and fires) Aramis: On second thought, God's often busy.
Aramis: Only the wrong words are waste of time. the right words can make a more lasting impression than a thousand of Porthos's kisses. Barmaid: Not likely.
D'Artagnan: Shakespeare. Aramis: Aramis. Porthos: Cheating.
Porthos: Come D'Artagnan, we're saving the King!
Porthos: Ah ha! The Cardinal's sacred snack chamber. Aramis: And what have we here? Is he a man of God or a man of gold?
Athos: Where have you been? Porthos: Taking care of something ugly!
Aramis: I think not!
Cardinal Richelieu: A word of caution, milady. A snap of my fingers, and you could be back on the block where I found you. Milady: And with a flick of my wrist, I could change your religion. Cardinal Richelieu: You're very persuasive.
D'Artagnan: WAIT! Cardinal Richelieu: You object to losing your head? D'Artagnan: Yes, I like it where it is! Cardinal Richelieu: Then tell me what I want to know, and maybe you will keep it a while longer! D'Artagnan: I don't know where they are. Cardinal Richelieu: And if you did? D'Artagnan: I wouldn't tell you... Cardinal Richelieu: I admire your courage, D'Artagnan. You might have made a great musketeer. But now we'll never know - will we?
(as D'Artagnan is prepared to be beheaded) Girard: D'Artagnan! Don't lose your head!
Cardinal Richelieu: Tell me, D'Artagnan. What noble business brings you here? D'Artagnan: I came to join the King's Musketeers. Cardinal Richelieu: (slyly) Bad timing. D'Artagnan: So I've heard.
Aramis: Fear not, my son, we are with you, always... all for one...
Cardinal Richelieu: (speaking of Milady DeWinter) A truly remarkable woman. The most beautiful I have ever known. And the deadliest... which would explain my attraction.
Girard: (with D'Artagnan's sword at his throat) My brothers will avenge me... (D'Artagnan looks up to see Gerard's three brothers arriving on horseback) D'Artagnan: Already? (turns and runs)
Porthos: God, I love my work!
Porthos: He thinks he can challenge the mighty Porthos with a sword... D'Artagnan: The mighty who? Porthos: Don't tell me you've never heard of me. D'Artagnan: The world's biggest windbag? Porthos: Little pimple... meet me behind the Luxembourg at 1 o'clock and bring a long wooden box. D'Artagnan: Bring your own... Porthos: (laughs)
Bad Guy: It's Porthos the Pirate! AAAAH! (the bad guys jump overboard) D'Artagnan: Pirate? Porthos: I told you I was famous.
D'Artagnan: Is this Musketeer headquarters? Athos: No, this was Musketeer headquarters. D'Artagnan: Oh, you mean it's been moved. Athos: No, I mean the Musketeers have been disbanded, they no longer exist. Feel free to poke around for souvenirs if you wish. D'Artagnan: But I just got here. How am I supposed to become a Musketeer if they've been disbanded? Athos: I'd say you've got quite a problem. D'Artagnan: (Grabbing Athos' arm) You're not being very helpful. Athos: You need a lesson in manners, boy. D'Artagnan: Anytime. Athos: Why don't you meet me outside the city by the ruins, let's say noon?
Aramis: Ah, thank you. You broke my fall perfectly. I do apologize for the inconvenience. D'Artagnan: Get off me! Aramis: If there's one thing I can't abide, it's rudeness. D'Artagnan: You fell on me! Aramis: And I apologized for it. D'Artagnan: Well your apology is not accepted. Aramis: I hope your sword is as quick as your mouth. D'Artagnan: It's quicker. Aramis: Ah, a duel then. D'Artagnan: A duel. Aramis: Meet me by the Carmes-Deschaux Monastery at two o'clock. D'Artagnan: I'll be there. Aramis: As will I. D'Artagnan: Three duels in one day. Hmm.
Cardinal Richelieu: Milady De Winter. Your beauty would make even the most chaste of men think of... impurity. Milady: I don't believe you suffer the burden of chastity.
(five Cardinal's Guards arrive in an inn, two patrols of their comrades are either bound and gagged or unconscious) Guard: What is this? Athos: We are having a private party celebrating the demise of the Musketeers. Go away. Aramis: Athos. Is that any way to greet our guests? Gentlemen, don't be shy, come in. Your friends have been expecting you. Guard: You are under arrest. Athos: Under whose authority? Rochefort: Mine. Aramis: Ah. Hello again, Cyclops.
(after a fight with the Cardinal's guards) D'Artagnan: What's he doing? Athos: Last rites. Aramis takes death very seriously. D'Artagnan: Is he a priest? Athos: He used to be one of the Cardinal's students.
D'Artagnan: Why's Athos sitting by himself? Aramis: He takes his drinking very seriously. Not to worry; he'll be his usual charming self by morning.
(after dropping a group of the Cardinal's guards with a chandelier) Porthos: Did I miss anyone? Aramis: Congratulations, Porthos. You brought down the house. Porthos: Oh, drat. I was trying to hit Rochefort.
Athos: You go back and you tell the Cardinal we will continue to perform our sworn duty, which is to protect the King, and we will use every means within our power to fight him. Rochefort: Bold words. I look forward to ramming them down your throat.
Athos: Richelieu! Cardinal Richelieu: You're too late, Musketeers! By now the Duke of Buckingham's signature is next to mine! The alliance is complete! Athos: That would be difficult, considering the treaty never left France! (pause) Cardinal Richelieu: A minor problem!
D'Artagnan: The Cardinal! We have to hurry! Porthos: You two have a date? D'Artagnan: No, it's the Cardinal! He's conspiring against the King! Aramis: Tell us something we don't know. D'Artagnan: He sent a messenger with a secret treaty to a man named Buckingham. Porthos: The Duke of Buckingham? D'Artagnan: Do you know him? Aramis: He rules England the way the Cardinal rules France. D'Artagnan: There's a ship called the Persephone. It's waiting in Calais to take the messenger to England. It sails Tuesday, midnight. Porthos: If we get that treaty, we can prove the Cardinal guilty of treason. Aramis: Calais is over 200 leagues from here. Athos: Is the Cardinal aware of the fact that you have this information? D'Artagnan: Yes.
D'Artagnan: All I want to do is get to Paris, and join the King's Musketeers. Girard: You, a Musketeer? Fantasy! D'Artagnan: My father was a Musketeer. The King's personal bodyguard. Girard: The King was assassinated. Your father was a failure; a disgrace to the Musketeers. D'Artagnan: What did you say? Girard: Your father was a disgrace!
Cardinal Richelieu: One thousand gold pieces on each of their heads, dead or alive! (pause) Cardinal Richelieu: I prefer dead!
Porthos: How's your head D'Artagnan? D'Artagnan: I'm beginning to wish the Cardinal *had* chopped it off. Will you stop whistling please? Porthos: I'm not whistling. D'Artagnan: Well somebody's whistling. Porthos: Barmaid's kiss left him dizzy. Aramis: I hear it too. Sounds like a Athos: Cannon ball! Porthos: Oh I *hate* cannon balls.
Constance: (pointing a gun at D'Artagnan) Have you any idea what you've done? D'Artagnan: I've saved you and your friend from these bandits. Constance: *These bandits* are the Queen's own bodyguard. D'Artagnan: The Queen? I'm sorry, I didn't know. Constance: What's your name? D'Artagnan: D'Artagnan. Constance: D'Artagnan. A Gascon? D'Artagnan: I've come to Paris to join the Musketeers. Constance: Then I'm sure I'll be hearing your name again. D'Artagnan: Would that please you? Constance: Ladies in waiting are forbidden to socialise with Musketeers. D'Artagnan: Well, I'm not a Musketeer yet. Constance: With that kind of courage you will be one soon enough. Good luck D'Artagnan. And thank you for the amusement, I enjoyed it immensely. D'Artagnan: Wait! You didn't tell me your name! Constance: Constance!
(Aramis is unconscious after being shot at by the Cardinal, Porthos is trying to revive him) Athos: Is he dead? (Porthos moves the crucifix round Aramis' neck and Aramis regains consciousness violently) Athos: Gently! Gently! Aramis: (groans and looks at the crucifix which stopped the bullet) See? There is a God.
Aramis: Leaving so soon? Cardinal Richelieu: Oh you know, I abhor bloodshed Aramis: Especially your own. Cardinal Richelieu: Stand aside. Aramis: You are under arrest, charged with treason. Cardinal Richelieu: You of all people should know that the Cardinal does not answer to the laws of men. Aramis: Then you'll answer to God. Cardinal Richelieu: (shoots Aramis) You first.
Aramis: Leaving so soon? Cardinal Richelieu: Oh, you know. I abhor bloodshed. Aramis: Especially your own. Cardinal Richelieu: Stand aside. Aramis: You are under arrest. Charged with treason. Cardinal Richelieu: (laughs) You, of all people, should know that the Cardinal does not answer to the laws of men. Aramis: Then you'll answer to God.
Aramis: The treaty outlines the Cardinal's plans to forge an alliance with Buckingham. Porthos: No mention of the King? Aramis: None. However, the arrangement is contingent upon a demonstration of the Cardinal's power. D'Artagnan: Demonstration? What kind of demonstration? Aramis: I don't know. Athos: I know someone who does.
Cardinal Richelieu: Remember, Kings come and Kings go but one thing remains the same. And that is me.
King Louis: You look beautiful. Queen Anne: Thank you. King Louis: Is something wrong? Queen Anne: Cardinal Richelieu. King Louis: Yes? Queen Anne: He is an evil man. King Louis: Do not believe every rumour you hear. He is powerful. Queen Anne: I ride through the countryside every day, I've seen the uses of his power. King Louis: Power sometimes frightens. Queen Anne: Here in the Palace I have seen it too. King Louis: I know. Queen Anne: What shall we do? King Louis: I don't know, but we will do it together.
Athos: The King's life is in danger. We have work to do.
Porthos: (a really drunk Porthos sees Athos) Ooh. May I have this dance?
Porthos: (fighting a very large man) Smelly... lump... OF LARD!
Athos: Your manners have not improved yet. You're late. D'Artagnan: You in a hurry to die? Athos: (Porthos and Aramis arrive) Here come the grave diggers now. Porthos: Athos, you cannot fight this boy. Athos: Why not? Porthos: I'm fighting him. D'Artagnan: Not until 1 o'clock. Aramis: I have a duel with him too. D'Artagnan: Not until 2 o'clock.
Bad Guy: (referring to the ship's deceased crew) Dead. They're all dead! Aramis: Not all of us. (kicks the minion)
Porthos: (disguised as an executioner at D'Artagnon's execution) This axe was given to me by the Czarina of Tokyo. (the Three Musketeers reveal themselves and rescue D'Artagnon)
Aramis: You will never harm another soul ever again. My promise to God. King Louis: Wait. (punches Cardinal Richelieu, knocking him into the water) Aramis: Well done, Your Majesty.
Athos: (Athos is waiting for his rival, D'Artagnan, to fight a duel. D'Artagnan comes into view and dismounts) Ten minutes early... D'Artagnan: I have another appointment at one. Athos: You'll miss it, I'm afraid... D'Artagnan: I'll try my best to be on time. Athos: I asked two of my friends to act as seconds, but they are not as punctual. Porthos: (Porthos and Aramis arrive late. When they dismount they view d'Artagnan with amazement) (to Athos) What are you doing? You can't fight this man! Athos: Why not? Porthos: Because I'm fighting him. D'Artagnan: (to Porthos) Excuse me, monsieur. But not until one o'clock. Aramis: (to his fellow musketeers) Wait a minute. I've got a duel with him, too. D'Artagnan: (to Aramis) Yes, sir. But not until two... Athos: (to D'Artagnan) How long have you been in Paris? D'Artagnan: I arrived this morning. Athos: You've been... busy... !
(D'Artagnan is talking with his mother. He is posed before his first great adventure. But not completely certain that he wishes to leave home) D'Artagnan's Mother: I'm not your mother now. I'm speaking for your father. And this is what he would have told you. Never forget the code of the d'Artagnans. It is your special heritage. Always seek out adventure... D'Artagnan: I will. D'Artagnan's Mother: Never run from a fight... D'Artagnan: I won't. D'Artagnan's Mother: Never submit to insults. Except from the King. D'Artagnan: Never. D'Artagnan's Mother: And be wary of Cardinal Richelieu for he rules France through the King. D'Artagnan: Mother. Maybe I should wait. Until after harvest. D'Artagnan's Mother: You've heard that every man in the Musketeers is on the run from someone or something? D'Artagnan: Yes. But what am I running from? D'Artagnan's Mother: A shrew of a mother, and a drafty old house. Now go. (D'Artagnan hugs his mother then leaps into the saddle. The horse reacts with a start, skitters in a half-cicle. D'Artagnan struggles to gain control, finally brings the horse to rein. He manages a charmed grin. His mother smiles) D'Artagnan's Mother: And, for heaven's sake, practice your horsemanship. D'Artagnan: Horsemanship. Got it.
Rochefort: By joint edict of His Majesty King Louis XIII and His Eminence Cardinal Richelieu, the Musketeers are officially disbanded. In preparation for the coming war with England, your ranks and commissions are hereby transferred to the Infantry. You will be contacted and told where to report. Until that time, you are instructed to return to your homes.
Rochefort: You are hereby ordered to surrender your commissions and make yourselves available for reassignment in the King's Army. Athos: And if we refuse? Rochefort: You will become outlaws. Hunted men. Porthos: It doesn't matter where I go or what I do. Sooner or later somebody's calling me 'outlaw.' (Athos cuts him off with a look. He's familiar with Porthos' propensity for tall tales. But not here, not now. Athos turns back to the balcony. Rochefort lobs a taunt) Rochefort: Are you refusing to serve your King? Aramis: We are refusing to serve the Cardinal. Porthos: Same thing, these days. Aramis: France has one King too many. Rochefort: I'll tell him you said that. (Athos, who has remained silent, speaks with quiet power) Athos: Do that, Rochefort. Tell his Emminence the Cardinal that we will continue to perform our sworn duty to protect the King. From enemies across the sea. From traitors who sit at his right hand. And tell him that he can take away our tunics, our muskets, even our swords. But he cannot stop us from being what we are. Musketeers.
D'Artagnan: I know this is a stupid question. But what exactly does a Musketeer do? (Porthos and Aramis exchange a glance. They're not so sure themselves) Porthos: Truth... honor... Aramis: (helpfully suggests a third) And freedom. Porthos: Weren't you listening? (They raise their swords, and clash blades together, causing them to give off sparks) D'Artagnan: All for one... Porthos, Aramis, Athos: ... And one for all!
Athos: (Milady is about to be executed) No! Sabine, please forgive me! Milady: I do forgive you. (whispers) The Cardinal intends to asassinate the King. On Friday, at his birthday celebration. (she stands, backs away, and jumps from the cliff to her death) Armand de Winter: God's justice be done.
Athos: Sabine! I thought you were dead... (points a pistol at her) The treaty. Give it to me. Milady: No. Athos: I will shoot! Milady: Be kind. Aim for my heart.
(the musketeers are being fired upon) Athos: We'll split up... D'artagnan rides with me. Aramis: See you in Calais! Athos: Or Hell!
Athos: You fight like a man, let's see if you can drink like one too. D'Artagnan: I can drink anything you put in front of me. Athos: Famous last words.