The Sweeney
1975
Regan: You are about to sit the final exam for the Chinese civil service. There's only one question and no time limit. *Tell me all you know!*
(On Haskins) Regan: He's doing for the Squad what the Boston Strangler did for door-to-door salesmen!
(Two thieves burst into a couple's bedroom brandishing shotguns) Colin Magruder: Stand and deliver, your money or your wife! (Wife starts screaming hysterically) On second thoughts, we'll just take the money.
(Last lines of the series, as Regan disappears in a taxi, vowing to quit the force) Haskins: He'll be back. He needs the job like an alcoholic needs booze. Carter: (sarcastically) Yeah?
Det. Inspector Jack Regan: Nah, 'course I wasn't scared. Mind you, some bugger's pissed in my pants.
Regan: We're the Sweeney, son, and we haven't had any dinner - you've kept us waiting. So unless you want a kicking, you tell us where those photographs are.
Iris Long: You wouldn't cross the street if I lay naked on a zebra crossing. Regan: Look, Iris, the world does not revolve round your body - this bloke Gallileo proved it: it revolves around the sun.
(to Haskins) Regan: I am utterly and abjectly pissed-off with this little lot. I've given the best years of my life to the job. I've got eighteen bloody commendations, if you include the one I *didn't* get yesterday. And how does this "wonderful" police force show its gratitude for all my years of unstinting effort? It bangs me up in a crummy little cell like some cheap little villain - all because a toerag called Hutchinson's got a few bottles twitching on the Fifth Floor. Now, because that poor little bastard had the guts to get off his arse, I'm going to have to be reinstated. And what do you bunch of bleeding double-dyed hypocrits want now? You want me to crawl back to work and be terribly grateful that I didn't get nicked for something I didn't do. Well you can stuff it! (walks away in disgust)
Regan: It's just our sense of humour, Jock. DS Davy Freeth: And the next bastard that calls me Jock gets his head knocked off!
(a woman in a short tennis skirt bends over, showing her knickers. Regan and Stanley Proctor leer at her) Stanley Proctor: I could be arrested for what you were thinking!
Regan: (reading a computer manual) "The operator moves the cursor... " What's a cursor ? Carter: Er, someone we nick for using language likely to cause a breach of the peace.
(breaking into a suspect's house and rousing him from his bed) Regan: Get your trousers on - you're nicked!
Regan: They've really gone to the dogs the criminal class.
Carter: What's that he's got in his hand? Regan: His breakfast. Carter: Thought they ate porridge. Regan: They did, till they discovered it was healthy.