The Simpsons: Hit & Run

2003 (VG)

Homer Simpson: Barney, you know that cooler I gave you for your birthday? Well, Flanders wants it back. Barney Gumble: Now what am I gonna use for a toilet?

(Homer destroys the surveillance cameras at the power plant) Homer Simpson: Finally, I can get some sleep. (the whistle blows) C. Montgomery Burns: (over P.A. system) Mindless drones! Return to your ugly families! Homer Simpson: D'oh!

Homer Simpson: C. Montgomery Burns! I know you're guilty! J'accused! Sir. C. Montgomery Burns: Fine, I'll admit it. I had Amelia Earhart's plane shot down. That hussy was getting too big for her jodhpurs.

Lisa Simpson: Milhouse, stop following me around! Milhouse Van Houten: Oh hi, Lisa. My, your hair looks pointy today. Lisa Simpson: Milhouse, have you seen Bart? Milhouse Van Houten: So, do you have a date to the harvest ball? Lisa Simpson: This isn't a good time. Milhouse Van Houten: It's NEVER a good time! (cries)

Lisa Simpson: Mission accomplished, but Bart's still missing and I'm still no closer to finding him. Apu: Perhaps you should talk to Professor Frink. He seems to know everything... except why I ever came to this jerkwater burg.

Homer Simpson: Here's your science project. Lisa Simpson: Thanks for delivering my model of the digestive system. Hey! Where's the gall bladder? Homer Simpson: I got hungry and... it was a fig? Lisa Simpson: It was modeling clay! Homer Simpson: Oh.

(last lines) Kang: At least our show was a success. Kodos: Why did we go to Earth Heaven when we died? Kang: At least we don't have to sit through the stupid video game credits. Kodos: (Kodos points down at the credits coming up) Kang: Noooooooooooooo!

Smithers: (after denting Homer's car) I dented your car, which probably dented my car also. Well, I dented your car.

Homer Simpson: (after hitting something) Bart did it!

Homer Simpson: (singing) I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!

Homer Simpson: And people say I'm slow. Wait a minute! That was an insult!

Carl: Hey, Homer. You look like you're having one of your trademark adventures.

Homer Simpson: Now, what can I use to board up the windows? I know! Boards!

Lisa Simpson: Dad, I'm so proud of you for stopping the alien invasion. Homer Simpson: Did that really happen? I thought it was a bad dream from eating too many raw hot dogs. Marge Simpson: No, Homey! You're the town hero! Homer Simpson: Really? And what about the ninja babysitters? Was that real or a hot dog dream? Lisa Simpson: Hot dog dream.

Homer Simpson: (chanting) Two, four, six, eight! You suck! I'm great! La da! La da! You I hate!

Lisa Simpson: I am the lizard queen!

Lisa Simpson: See? You are a good cop! Chief Wiggum: Ah, you're just saying that. Lisa Simpson: Yes, I am.

(Nelson starts a street race) Nelson Muntz: Three! Two! A loser says what? Lisa Simpson: What? Nelson Muntz: HA ha!

(Ralph starts a street race) Ralph Wiggum: One! One! One! One! Go!

Comic Book Guy: Ah, videogames, what a waste of money. Now to go online and bid one thousand dollars for a set of Itchy and Scratchy corn-cob holders. Terrific, terrific experience.

Marge Simpson: Homey, you're late for work, and today's your workplace evaluation with Mr Smithers! Homer Simpson: Ahh! He'll find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live?

(Homer notices a security camera at his workstation) Homer Simpson: How can I sleep with that camera? Ooh, sexy girls could be watching me on the internet!

Marge Simpson: If only kids would play more video games about sharing.

Moe Szyslak: Sorry Bart, I can't sell booze to a minor, it ain't right. Bart Simpson: I'm here about fireworks. Moe Szyslak: Oh, hell yeah!

Bart Simpson: Ralph, word in the hood is that you have access to your dad's fireworks stash. Ralph Wiggum: Fireworks make my ears yell! Bart Simpson: Here's some gumdrops, now make with the works! Ralph Wiggum: My daddy's gonna put you in jail.

Comic Book Guy: I have no time to converse with you, I must be first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBane film. The action was dismal and the nudity was frustratingly fleeting. I barely got going. Bart Simpson: Quick, to the Fatmobile! (laughs) Comic Book Guy: Yes, I suppose. But must we call it that?

Chief Wiggum: Now, first of all, if you're gonna go undercover, you are gonna need a disguise. Lisa Simpson: You mean like an eye patch? Chief Wiggum: Hey, good one! If we could afford a disguise like that, I wouldn't be payed in potato chip coupons.

Chief Wiggum: Strike two - running over an elderly person without a license.

Homer Simpson: Flanders, give me your first aid kit. Ned Flanders: Well, I was hoping to save it for Rod and Todd to bandage their brain-eating boo-boos. Homer Simpson: Just rub a bible on them. Ned Flanders: Will that work to fend off zombies? Homer Simpson: Who am I, Doctor Science? Ned Flanders: Okely-dokely, here's the first aid. Rod Flanders: Daddy, if the zombies are dead, why aren't they in Heaven? Todd Flanders: I hope my brain feeds a hungry zombie.

Comic Book Guy: If my knowledge of sci-fi movies is correct, which it is, the black car is an advanced probe for the mothership. Now, if you're through, I'm going to spend my last hours on Earth complaining about movies on the internet. Homer Simpson: The gift of life is wasted on you. Comic Book Guy: Yes, I recommend you obtain a zombie car. It will protect you well but it runs on human brains, a slight drawback. Homer Simpson: I've got plenty of those.

Homer Simpson: Can you come and pick me up? I'll pay you in back rubs.

Apu: Unless I redeem myself, I will be reincarnated as a sea cucumber. Or worse, a land cucumber!

Apu: I am a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!

Lisa Simpson: Speed, glorious speed!

Marge Simpson: (At the Phone booth calling for a vehicle) Sexy mommy needs a ride!

Lisa Simpson: Er... Can you help a sister out?

Comic Book Guy: I will roll to determine your chances of getting a ride. (pause) I will be there in five turns.

Comic Book Guy: (after hitting something) My car is now NEAR-mint.

Homer Simpson: Homer hates losing. (shouts) Homer smash!

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