The Right Stuff
1983
(first lines) Narrator: There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier.
(about Yeager's bruised ribs) Jack Ridley: How bad did you ding 'em? Chuck Yeager: Well, you might say as I broke a couple of the sons-o'-bitches.
Chuck Yeager: Hey, Ridley, you got any Beeman's? Jack Ridley: Yeah, I think I got me a stick. Chuck Yeager: Loan me some, will you? I'll pay you back later. Jack Ridley: Fair enough.
Gordon Cooper: You know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up. Gus Grissom: He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.
Chuck Yeager: Hey, Ridley, make another note here, would ya? Must be something wrong with this ol' Mach meter. Jumped plumb off the scale. Gone kinda screwy on me. Jack Ridley: You go ahead and bust it, we'll fix it. Personally, I think you're seein' things. Chuck Yeager: Yeah, could be. But I'm still goin' upstairs like a bat outta hell.
Chuck Yeager: I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you. Glennis Yeager: Oh no you're not. But you oughta be.
Alan Shepard: Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck up. Gordon Cooper: I didn't quite copy that. Say again, please. Alan Shepard: I said everything's A-OK.
Pancho Barnes: What are you two rookies gonna have? Gordon Cooper: Rookies? Now hold on, sis. You are looking at a whole new ballgame here now. In fact, in a couple of years, I bet you're even gonna immortalize us by putting our pictures up there on your wall. (unwittingly referring to the dead pilot memorial over the bar) What? I say somethin' wrong here? Pancho Barnes: I tell you, we got two categories of pilots around here. We got your prime pilots that get all the hot planes, and we got your pud-knockers who dream about getting the hot planes. Now what are you two pud-knockers gonna have? Huh?
Grand Designer: We could launch a pod. Lyndon Johnson: A pot? Grand Designer: A POD - a, uh, capsule. Now, we would be in full control of zis pod. It vill go up like a cannonball, and come down like, uh, a cannonball, splashing down into ze water, the ocean, vith a parachute to spare the life of the specimen inside. Lyndon Johnson: Spaceman? Grand Designer: SPE-CI-MEN. Lyndon Johnson: Well, what kind of spe-ci-men? Grand Designer: A tough one. Responsive to orders. I had in mind a jimp. Lyndon Johnson: JIMP? Well what the HELL is a jimp? Grand Designer: A jimp. A-a-a jimpanzee, Senator. An ape.
Game Show MC: Major, Eddie here has a little problem with his girlfriend. Did you ever have a problem like that when you were 10? John Glenn: Yes, I did, Bob. I liked a girl in my class, but all the other guys liked her too and she didn't pay any attention. But, I kept after her, Eddie. Game Show MC: Did you finally get her to notice you? John Glenn: Yes, I did. In fact, I finally got her to marry me.
Gus Grissom: I did NOT do anything wrong. The hatch just BLEW. It was a GLITCH. It was a- a TECHNICAL MALFUNCTION. Why in hell won't anyone believe me?
John Glenn: Annie, listen to me, OK? You listening? If you don't want the Vice President or the TV networks or anybody else to come into the house, then that's it, as far as I'm concerned. They are NOT coming in, and I will back you all the way, a hundred percent on this. And you tell them that, OK? I don't want Johnson or any of the rest of them to set as much as one TOE inside our house. Annie Glenn: OK. John Glenn: You tell them that- that Astronaut John Glenn told you to say that.
Alan Shepard: Request permission to relieve bladder.
Gordon Cooper: Who was the best pilot I ever saw? Well, uh, you're lookin' at 'im.
Grand Designer: Our Germans are better than their Germans.
Gonzalez: You know, Mr Shepard, me and my friends think your Jose Jimenez imitation is A-OK. But what you're doing with it is B-A-D.
(last lines) Narrator: But on that glorious day in May 1963, Gordo Cooper went higher, farther, and faster than any other American - 22 complete orbits around the world; he was the last American ever to go into space alone. And for a brief moment, Gordo Cooper became the greatest pilot anyone had ever seen.
Gus Grissom: The issue here is not pussy. The issue here is monkey.
Pancho Barnes: Well Yeager, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.
(Gordo has been ordered to provide a sperm sample) Gordon Cooper: Yeah, but uh, nurse, how am I supposed to uh... Nurse Murch: The best results seem to be obtained through fantasization, accompanied by masturbation, followed by ejaculation. Gordon Cooper: Well, that sounds easy enough.
Liaison Man: You mean for this "space race", you don't want our best pilots?
Betty Grissom: (after her husband's flight) I thought I was going to be Honorable Mrs Astronaut, and I ended up being Honorable Mrs Squirming Hatchblower.
Chuck Yeager: Spam in a can.
Chuck Yeager: Monkeys? You think a money knows he's sittin' on top of a rocket that might explode? These astronaut boys they know that, see? Well, I'll tell you something, it takes a special kind of man to volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one that's on TV. Ol' Gus, he did alright.
Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.
Glennis Yeager: They don't spend a god-damned thing teaching you how to be the fearless wife of a fearless test pilot.
Alan Shepard: (during enema continence test) Tell me something, Mr Gonzalez. You ever have any explosions doing this? Gonzalez: All the time. It's a mess. Alan Shepard: Tell me something else, Mr Gonzalez. How am I doing? Gonzalez: I think you're going to make it, man. I think you're going to be an astronaut.
Alan Shepard: Sounds dangerous Recruiter: It is! Extremely dangerous! Alan Shepard: Count me in! (smiles)
Gordon Cooper: (during the lung capacity test) Ha! 93 seconds. Read it and weep (notices Glenn and Carpenter are still exhaling) John Glenn: (Glenn has run out of breath well past Gordo's time) Congratulations, Scott. Darn good. Scott Carpenter: (shaking Glenn's hand) You were probably just getting warmed up, John. Next time I doubt I'll be the one to win. Gus Grissom: (to Gordo) You hear that? We were competing with Archie and Jughead
Trudy Cooper: (about being the wife of a test pilot) I went back east to a reunion and all my friends could talk about their husband's work. How "dog-eat-dog" and cutthroat it was on Madison Ave. Places like that. (under her breath) Cutthroat. (to everyone) I wondered how they would've felt if every time their husband went in to make a deal, there was a one in four chance he wouldn't come out of that meeting. (begins sobbing)
Trudy Cooper: (Trudy has just finished talking to Nurse Murch about Gordo) You're all set. I told her you were stable, well-adjusted, attentive, persavering... I lied. Gordon Cooper: That a girl! What'd she say? Trudy Cooper: She laughed! She knows you too well, Gordo. Gordon Cooper: Yeah, well some women just have a problem with men, you know? Trudy Cooper: (Shake her head ruefully as Gordo walks off) Yeah; I know.
Gus Grissom: (listening to the NASA recruiter) Say, Hot Dog; what the hell does "astronaut" mean, anyway? Gordon Cooper: (thinks for a moment) "Star Voyager" Gus Grissom: "Star Voyager" Gus Grissom. I kinda like the sound of that.
Chuck Yeager: (NASA recruiters are talking to test pilots) You need lab rabbits. Recruiter: Sorry, I didn't get that. Chuck Yeager: I said you need lab rabbits to curl up in your damn capsule. With its heart going "pitter-patter". And a wire up the kazook. I don't hold with it. Scott Crossfield: I don't either. You want a pilot to become a balistic missile. And then splash down - possibly get lost at sea. Pancho Barnes: See, some peckerwood's gotta get the thing up. And some peckerwood's gotta land the son of a bitch. And that "peckerwood" is called a "pilot".
Gordon Cooper: You know something, Gus? I got me a new house, new furniture. Got me $25,000 a year on a magazine contract. Got me a Corvette. Got free lunch from one end of America to the other - and I ain't even been up there yet. Gus Grissom: Yeah, I noticed that. Gordon Cooper: Oh, you noticed that, did you? Well I guess they're just saving the best for last. Gus Grissom: Yeah, I guess so, Hot Dog. Just be sure you don't screw the pooch.