The Return of the Pink Panther
1975
Blind beggar: I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tell him what to do with his money.
Clouseau: Good Sharkey, Colonel God!
Clouseau: I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious pink Lytton.
(after an incident involving a blind beggar) Dreyfus: The beggar was the lookout man for the gang. Clouseau: That is impossible. How can a blind man be a lookout? Dreyfus: (Insinuating Clouseau) How can an idiot be a police officer? Clouseau: Well, all he has to do is enlist... Dreyfus: Shut up!
(after inadvertently destroying much of the hotel he is in) Clouseau: I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly.
(to a Taxi driver) Clouseau: Follow that car! (driver gets out of the taxi and follows the car)
Clouseau: Does Lady Lytton have a swimming pewl? Hotel Concierge: A swimming pewl?
Col Sharkey: I will be forced to shoot you. Claudine: Who's forcing you?
(Chief Inspector Dreyfuss has gone berserk, shooting at Clouseau and Lytton) Sir Charles Lytton: He's out of ammunition. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of.
(Cato has just attacked Clouseau, causing extensive damage to the restaurant he's eating in) Clouseau: You raving Oriental idiot! There is a time and a place for everything, Cato! And this is it! (Clouseau goes to attack Cato, but misses and destroys the restaurant's kitchen)
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (in Dreyfus' office, after Clouseau's apartment has been bombed) I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! It is amazing that I am still alive! Dreyfus: (forcing himself not to giggle) "Amazing" is the polite term. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you? Dreyfus: YES! I wish you were DEAD! Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.
Dreyfus: (after Clouseau's fiasco with the bank robbers) ... You are suspended for six months, without pay, effective immediately! Have you anything to say? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ... Could you lend me fifty francs?
Dreyfus: (after Clouseau has demolished two trucks and a swimming pool in Nice) Now he's off to Gstaad. Today, a paradise in the Swiss Alps - tomorrow, a wasteland. (rolls his eyes and lets out a deep breath) Dreyfus: Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (at Lytton Manor in Nice, while working undercover as a telephone repairman, Clouseau has already annihilated the Lyttons' doorbell!) ... I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone. Lytton Valet: ... I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble. Lytton Valet: Since when? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Since it was reported. Lytton Valet: By whom? And what sort of trouble is it? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is! Claudine: Well... Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Madame, it is my business to locate trouble... (He misses the door to the study, crashing headlong into the wall; being Clouseau, he isn't even fazed) Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ... Er, no trouble back there!