The Princess Comes Across

1936

Lady Gertrude Allwyn: The story is from a novel entitled Lavender and Old Lace, but the name of the cinema has been changed to... um... She Done Him Plenty.

Film Man: Have you a favorite movie star, Princess? Princess Olga: Oh, yah yah. Film Man: Would it be a male star? Princess Olga: Oh sure. Film Man: If the question isn't too personal, the name? Princess Olga: Vee tell you. Mickey Moose-y.

Lady Gertrude Allwyn: What is that? Princess Olga: Why it's one of those things, you know, one of those come-to-you go-from-you things. Lady Gertrude Allwyn: A concertina. And very vulgar. A definite symbol of the lower classes. Put the thing on the floor and it crawls.

Lady Gertrude Allwyn: My dear, I am an old woman. I have travelled at home and abroad, and NEVER, NEVER have I know any good to come out of a concertina.

Princess Olga: Scram. King Mantell: What did you say? Princess Olga: Oh... Scrom. In Sweeden, it means the interview is ended.

Princess Olga: Poor dear Uncle Rudy. Somebody was always shooting at him. Morevitch: In my country, they shoot at everybody's uncle.

King Mantell: Your Highness, there's something wrong with your tub. Princess Olga: Vat? King Mantell: Yes, you see, the water runs in and it runs out, but the trouble is it runs out faster than it runs in. I discovered it this morning when I was trying to take a bath. It can only draw about that much water (his fingers show an inch) and you can't take a bath with that much water (shows an inch again) Princess Olga: Vell, if you're a ploomb-er, why don't you fix it? King Mantell: Well, I'm not a ploomb-er, uh, I mean, a plumber, but I think I could fix it. Have you got a screwdriver? Lady Gertrude Allwyn: A screwdriver? Her Highness is not in the habit of going around with a screwdriver on her person. Princess Olga: (to Mantell) Please go avay. King Mantell: Well, I was only trying to help, but may I suggest that when you want to take a bath, you should take a shower. (walks away) Of course, there's always the ocean. (Exits) Princess Olga: (dropping her phony Sweedish accent) I'd like to smack that guy right in the kisser.

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