The Pacifier
2005
(from trailer) Shane Wolfe: (to the kids he's watching) I'm never gonna be able to remember your names because there's not enough time so you're Red One, you're Red Two, you're Red Three, and you're Red Baby.
(from trailer) Shane Wolfe: (while changing the baby's diaper) Ewwww, Red Baby!
(from trailer) Seth Plummer: We're all gonna die.
Lulu Plummer: Do you know Kung Fu? Shane Wolfe: Yes. Lulu Plummer: Have you ever hit a guy so hard his head came off? Shane Wolfe: No. Lulu Plummer: Why are your boobs so big? Shane Wolfe: (shocked) They are not... boobs. Lulu Plummer: Do you have to wear a bra? Shane Wolfe: What? Lulu Plummer: Will mine be as big as yours one day? Shane Wolfe: Isn't it about time you go nappy-poo in beddy-bye land? Lulu Plummer: Do I look like I'm five? Shane Wolfe: What did I say? Lulu Plummer: Disrespectful. And to think I was interested in you.
Lulu Plummer: (as her Firefly troops see Shane in nothing but a towel) I told you he had boobs.
(From trailer) (From trailer) Lulu Plummer: (jumping out of the car after experiencing Zoe's driving) (shouts) Land! Solid land!
Julie Plummer: (after hitting Mrs Chen and knocking her unconscious) She was never really a good neighbor.
Shane Wolfe: Mrs Plummer, I will personally make sure your kids are... (Gary the Duck bites him in the ear) Shane Wolfe: ... Oh, my God! Julie Plummer: (puts Gary down) Sorry, that's Gary. Shane Wolfe: He bit me! Julie Plummer: I know. He thinks he's a guard dog.
Lulu Plummer: I think you're cute! Shane Wolfe: (awkwardly) Thank you.
(from trailer) Shane Wolfe: (on S.U.Vs) Think of it as a Bradley assault vehicle.
Shane Wolfe: (coaching Zoe on S.U.V.s) Just think of it as a Bradley Assault Vehicle. Seth Plummer: With her driving, it will be!
Helga: (to Shane) Are you license to kill? Shane Wolfe: ... No, why? Helga: Too bad. It could have come in handy.
Vice Principal Murney: (upon meeting Shane) I'm Vice Principal Murney, or Murnanator as the wrestling team calls me. My friends call me Little Puppet.
Seth Plummer: Oh, bite me.
(after Shane just did the Peter Panda Dance for Peter) Peter Plummer: Good night, Daddy!
Shane Wolfe: (to Zoe's boyfriend, Scott) Give me twenty! (Scott pulls out his wallet) Shane Wolfe: I mean push-ups!
(after seeing Woody Woodchuck's kiddie restaurant) Shane Wolfe: And they say war is hell.
Shane Wolfe: (to Mrs Plummer) Ma'am, I've dealt with... (Gary bites his ear) Shane Wolfe: OW! Oh my God! Julie Plummer: Sorry! That's Gary.
Shane Wolfe: (to Vice Principle Murney) I can't today, I'm on duty... Vice Principal Murney: (to Shane) Oh yeah, your babysitting, more like- doo-doo duty
Seth Plummer: (Shane kicks in Seth's bedroom door - Seth exits the bathroom) Oh my god! What did you do? Shane Wolfe: I was trying to protect you! Seth Plummer: How? By pulling a shock-and-awe on my door? Shane Wolfe: I can fix that. Seth Plummer: No you can't! It's broken in half!