The Oblongs...
2001
Peggy: I can't wait to get to school and resume learning. Helga: I can't wait 'til you drown in your own saliva. Susie: Drowning is my third favorite way to die; but they're all good.
Bob Oblong: Where's Milo? Beth Oblong: Milo says he's not going to school. Pickles Oblong: Beth, honey, nobody likes a tattle tale. Bob Oblong: I do. They're an essential part of any family. You keep right on tattling, sweetie pie. Beth Oblong: Daddy has a magazine with naked ladies hugging. (short pause) Bob Oblong: Oh, crimany.
Bob Oblong: Where's Milo? Beth Oblong: Milo says he's not going to school. Pickles Oblong: Beth, honey, nobody likes a tattletale. Bob Oblong: I do. They're an essential part of any family. Beth Oblong: Daddy has a magazine with naked ladies hugging. Bob Oblong: Aw, crimany!
Milo Oblong: It's show time! Susie: You cruel bastard.
Milo Oblong: It's showtime! Susie: (in a frilly dress with an umbrella) You cruel bastard.
Helga Phugly: It's show time! Susie: (in a frilly dress with an umbrella) You cruel bastard.
Milo Oblong: (reading Biff's diary) Ran laps behind Coach at practice. I hope someday to have his perfect buttocks. (flips pages) Came in early today. Coach was alone in the jacuzzi. Boring!
Milo Oblong: You may control my mind, but you'll never control my ass!
Helga: Don't shoot or I'll kiss him again! Milo Oblong: She's not bluffing! She'll do it! Her lips are like shark skin!
Helga Phugly: Thanks for the hot chow, Milo! (chews food and spits out) Your mother should be beaten with an oar. Milo Oblong: It takes some getting used to.
The Coach: Boys you're speed has gone from 4 min 8 sec to 2 min 3 sec and you've clearly gained some weight. Milo Oblong: Look who's talking thunder thighs. The Coach: Now that's just cruel. Biff Oblong: Don't you EVER talk about the coach like that again.
Biff Oblong: It takes drive, determination and health. H.O.M.O. Beth Oblong: That spells homo. Chip Oblong: You don't know how to spell.
Beth Oblong: I'd like beef without any bovine growth hormones. I don't want another one of these sticking out of my head.
(Pickles Oblong picks up the phone) Pickles Oblong: Hello? No Beth is right... Oh My GOD I left Beth behind at the store! I'm coming baby.
Jawless Peggy Weggy: Let's see there's the popular kids, the jocks, the nerds and then there's us. Helga Phugly: Hey don't lump me in with you loosers. I am accepted by all groups. Hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie, hi Debbie. The Debbies: Ewww!
Pristine Klimer: Oh, Pickles, I love your hair... where'd you buy it? Pickles Oblong: Some whore. I think it was your mother.
Beth Oblong: I'm so cold my teef hurt. Bob Oblong: You mean your teeth hurt don't you sweetheart? Beth Oblong: I know but it's so cold that I can't pronounce the th.
Beth Oblong: Don't worry she'll be back for her next probation condition.
The Debbies: And this shows how I am directly descended from Cinderella. Mr Phugly: Isn't Cinderella a storybook? The Debbies: You're a storybook!
Milo Oblong: I'm a CEO with ADD.
Helga Phugly: Hello! Am I invisible? I'll arrange a little accident and you'll never see it coming. Milo Oblong: Your armpit is really wet. Helga Phugly: Yeah. This is going to be really sweet.
Milo Oblong: What are you doing? Pickles Oblong: Burying beer. Aw, crud. That means I drank gopher poison.
Milo Oblong: Hey, Mom, I found a spear gun! Can we get Sea World?
Doctor: I could neuter him. Bob Oblong: I don't know. We were kinda hoping for grandchildren. Doctor: You really are an idiot, aren't you? Bob Oblong: You know that's pretty darned close to crossing the line.
The Debbies: You realize that after they fix me I'll be required to hate you. Milo Oblong: That's okay, Debbie. The Debbies: (the next day) You look so cute. (the Debbies continue clamoring) Milo Oblong: Bye, Debbie. The Debbies: Ew!