The Norm Show
1999
Artie Henderson: I'm a little overweight due to a genetic disorder that makes fried chicken delicious.
(after learning that Norm decided to take it easy on insulting, Mr Denby if he wouldn't fire his friends) Norm: Ah, it was nothing, actually it was a huge sacrifice, it was not unlike that guy, uh, Jesus Christ Almighty!
Norm Henderson: I hate you. You've never given me anything to be happy for! Max Denby: I gave you life!
Norm: See ya soon Vic. Vic: Yeah, screw you Norm.
Laurie: What are you going to keep doing this all your life? You know there is nothing sadder than a 70-year-old prostitute! Norm: Yeah, you don't wanna have to be taking your teeth out twenty or thirty times a day!
Mr Denby: Norm, I'd like to talk to you regarding our long distance policy (MacDonald, Norm@Norm Henderson) (on the phone) : Okay, sir Mr Denby: You have all these calls to China. Who do you know in China? Norm Henderson: Well, no one until you call, sir. Hold on one second. (into phone, in Chinese) Ni hao ma. Ding hai Prince Albert in a can?
Norm Henderson: He may be rich, but all his money and power can't stop me from rubbing my hands together maniacally!
(contest-winning punchline) Mr Denby: The men's bathroom is disgusting. Tell her, Norm. Norm: There's a bathroom in this building? I've been using the donut shop across the street. Laurie: You go all the way across the street just to use the bathroom in the donut shop? Norm: There's a bathroom in the donut shop?
Max Denby: My ex-wife, who for the purposes of this conversation I'll just call... biiiitttccchhh!