The Nine Lives of Tomas Katz
2000
Ivul Gurk: But the country seems gripped, gripped, t-t-t-t-t, gripped... Tomas Katz: Gripped by what, Ivul? Ivul Gurk: ... gripped, grigrigrigripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, grigrigrigripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, grigri grigri grigrigri... gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, gripped, grip-grip-grip-grip-grip-grip-grip-grip-grip grigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigrigri-gripped by mass psychosis.
(After establishing that the children in general are at fault for the state of the nation) Ivul Gurk: Well, well, we could, ah, talk forever - is there a solution? Tomas Katz: Yes! I have it here. It's a tuning fork. I acquired it through the Sunday Times recent innovation feature. Ivul Gurk: Tuning Fork of Annihilation: Broadcast a melodious hum of this durable stainless steel tuning fork across the airwaves and cause the destruction of all domestic televisions and the death of all children who hear it. Wow, what will they think of, next?