The Night They Raided Minsky's
1968
Jacob Schpitendavel: Louis Minsky, are thee father to the Minsky what has the theater? Louis Minsky: Yes. Jacob Schpitendavel: If I were thee, I would thrash thy son to within an inch of his life. Louis Minsky: You are not me, and you may still do it.
Jacob Schpitendavel: I do not know, Louis Minsky, if we pray to the same God. Louis Minsky: We must. Only a God who could tolerate me, could possibly tolerate you.
Jacob Schpitendavel: Louis Minsky, if you do not now go at once to prevent thy son from bringing my daughter to such ignominy, I shall, as Agnon (?) did, raise the finger of righteousness (raises index finger) to call down the wrath of heaven. Vance Fowler: My father, an Episcopal vestryman, used this (raises pinkie finger) as the finger of righteousness. Louis Minsky: Bah! And again, Bah! There is no finger of righteousness. This (raises pinkie and turns it in his ear) is the finger of cleanliness. This (raises ring finger) is the finger of marital bliss (points to wedding band) . This (raises index) is the finger of vengeance. This (levels middle finger toward Fowler, palm downward) is the finger of meddling in other people's lives (pokes Fowler in chest with middle finger) . And this (sticks out thumb) is the finger of transportation. It will get us a taxi to the theater. You speak with the fist of authority, gentlemen, but you do not know your fingers.
Jacob Schpitendavel: Whore! To stand thus so prideful, with thy, thy protuberances. How thou dost shame me.
Rachel: About the protuberances, papa. I think the Lord might feel different from you, since He's the one who gave me them.
Raymond Paine: Ha, ha, ha, ha, you've met a girl. Ah, Chick, my boy, when it comes to girls you have three qualities that are far worse than being short and funny-looking. You have the curse of the three D's: you are decent, devoted and dependable. Good qualities in a dog, disastrous in a man. Women like bastards. Chick Williams: No wonder they *love* you. Raymond Paine: Yes, I'm a BFC - Bastard First Class.