The Next Best Thing

2000

Abbie: I have something to tell you. Robert: Is it bigger than a breadbox? Abbie: Heh, not yet.

(Talking about Abbie and Robert's baby) Annabelle: Of course he'll be gorgeous. Kelly: Will he be gay? Abbie: My God, will your kids be stupid?

Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay? Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?

Robert: What? Eight martinis and you're stuffed? Abbie: Yep. Robert: Well, it doesn't take much to crack your egg, does it?

Sam: Daddy, are you a 'faggot'? Robert: Where did you hear that word? Sam: Kyle told it to me Robert: And did Kyle tell you what it means? Sam: Yes. Robert: Well, what does it mean? Sam: It's when two boys kiss and they go to the opera.

Robert's Mother: Do you remember that gloomy old grandpa that I told you about. The one who only comes out at night? (Sam shakes his head yes) Well, he's here. Sam: Smelling salts. Smelling salts. (Pretends to faint) Grandma, why aren't you fainting with me?

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