The Music Man
1962
Harold Hill: A man can't turn tail and run just because a little personal risk is involved. What did Shakespeare say? "Cowards die a thousand deaths, the brave man... only 500"?
Mayor Shinn: It's as clear as a buttonhook in the well water!
(in song) Citizens of River City: So what the heck? You're welcome! Join us at the picnic! You can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself.
Mayor Shinn: You watch your phraseology!
(in song) Mrs Paroo: When a woman's got a husband, and you've got none, why should she take advice from you? Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare and all them other high-falutin' Greeks.
(in song) Marian Paroo: Do you think that I'd allow a common masher - ? Now, really, mama. I have my standards where men are concerned and I have no intention... Mrs Paroo: I know all about your standards and if you don't mind my sayin' so there's not a man alive who could hope to measure up to that blend of Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat, and Noah Webster you've concocted for yourself out of your Irish imagination, your Iowa stubbornness, and your li'berry full of books!
(in song) Alma Hix: Just melt her down and you'll reveal / a lump of lead as cold as steel / Here, where a woman's heart should be.
(in song) Harold Hill: I rant and I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save / I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in / I hope and I pray for Hester to win just one more "A" / The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me / The sadder but wiser girl for me.
(in song) Harold Hill: Seventy-six trombones led the big parade / with a hundred and ten cornets close at hand / They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos / the cream of every famous band!
Marian Paroo: No, please, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Harold Hill: Oh, my dear little librarian. You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering.
(On Marion's choosiness when it comes to men) Mrs Paroo: It's a well-known principle that if you keep the flint in one drawer and the steel in the other, you'll never strike much of a fire.
Marcellus Washburn: I heard you was in steam automobiles. Harold Hill: I was. Marcellus Washburn: What happened? Harold Hill: Somebody actually invented one.
Marcellus Washburn: This is where I work. Harold Hill: You mean you *live* in this town? Marcellus Washburn: Yeah, I like it, too. I mean it's not Brooklyn, New York. It's not the City of Homes and Churches and... Harold Hill: Brooklyn? Marce, this isn't even Dubuque!
Harold Hill: I always think there's a band, kid.
Harold Hill: Think, boys. Think!
Harold Hill: I can't go. Marian Paroo: Why not? Harold Hill: For the first time in my life, I got my foot caught in the door.
(In song) Marian Paroo: There was love all around, but I never heard it singing. No I never heard it at all, Till There Was You.
Charlie Cowell: Don't believe I caught your name. Harold Hill: Don't believe I dropped it.
Salesman on train: How far you going, friend? Harold Hill: Wherever the people are as green as the money... friend.
Marian Paroo: The librarian hasn't felt much like doing research lately, but she did plenty when you first came here. Harold Hill: What about? Marian Paroo: Professor Harold Hill. Gary Conservatory of Music, class of '05. Harold, there wasn't any Gary Conservatory of Music in '05. Harold Hill: Why, there most certainly w... Marian Paroo: Because the town wasn't even built until '06. I tore this page out of an Indiana Journal. I was going to use it against you, but now I give to you with my love.
Marcellus Washburn: Thar she blows. Harold Hill: I'll do it, but I don't like it. Marcellus Washburn: No, that's not the librarian. That's Mrs Shinn, the mayor's wife.
Mrs Shinn: Now, George! Mayor Shinn: Not one poop out of you, Madame! Mrs Shinn: (turning to Zaneeta) I think he means "peep"!
Zaneeta: It's indecent to meet boys at the footbridge! Tommy Djilas: First thing after supper? Zaneeta: All right! Yee Gods!
Tommy Djilas: Great Honk!
Zaneeta: Papa, please! It's 'Capulets' like you who make blood in the marketplace! Ye Gods!
Ethel Toffelmier: I'm Ethel Tofflemier. The pianola girl?
Harold Hill: Mothers of River City, heed that warning before it's too late! Watch for the telltale signs of corruption! The minute your son leaves the house, does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime-novel hidden in the corncrib? Is he starting to memorize jokes from Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang? Are certain words creeping into his conversation? Words like "swell" and "so's your old man"? If so my friends, ya got trouble!