The Mummy
1999
Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am. Rick: And what is that? Evelyn: I... am a librarian.
(after a shipwreck) Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses. Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river.
Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.
(Rick is about to be hanged) Hangman: Any last requests, pig? Rick: Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go. (the hangman says something to the warden in Arabic) Warden Gad Hassan: (Angrily) Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!
Rick: I've been to Hamunaptra. Evelyn: You swear? Rick: Every damn day.
(after a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time) Rick: That happens a lot around here.
Winston: So, what does your little problem have to do with his Majesty's Royal Air Corps? Rick: Not a damn thing. Winston: Is it dangerous? Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it. Winston: By Jove, do you really think so? Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should you be any different?
Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance. Beni: They do?
Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas? Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking... Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.
Evelyn: You lied to me. Jonathan: I lie to everyone, what makes you so special? Evelyn: I'm your sister. Jonathan: That just makes you more gullible.
Rick: I only gamble with my life, never my money.
Rick: Can you swim? Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it. Rick: (throwing her overboard) Trust me, it calls for it.
(Evie is drunk) Evelyn: I bet you're thinking, what's a place like me doing in a girl like this? Rick: Something like that, yeah
Rick: You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni? Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.
(Upon opening the tomb) Evelyn: I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl. Rick: You dream about dead guys?
Winston: What's the plan? Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.
Mr Henderson: Get me a shot of bourbon, and a glass of bourbon, and a bourbon chaser.
Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me? Rick: I don't know. I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Evelyn: Ooh! (gets up and walks away in a huff) Rick: (Calling after her) What? What did I say?
Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you. Beni: Think of my children. Rick: You don't have any children Beni: Someday I might.
Rick: So what's the scam, Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot? Beni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo, so this time I must go all the way. Rick: Them's the breaks, huh?
(Hamunaptra is about to be destroyed) Rick: Time to go.
Rick: That's called "stealing," you know. Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."
Dr Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from ever being reborn into this world. Ardeth Bay: Now, thanks to you, we have failed. Evelyn: And you think that justifies the killing of innocent people? Dr Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think... Dr Bey, Ardeth Bay: YES!
Rick: You're gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You're gonna get yours. Beni: Oh, like I've never heard *that* before.
Rick: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr O'Connell, are your manners.
Evelyn: Patience is a virtue. Rick: Not right now it isn't.
Beni: Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality... and for your eyes... and for your tongue... but I'm afraid more is needed.
Beni: Mr Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality. Mr Burns: No. Beni: And for your eyes, and your tongue. Mr Burns: Wha? Beni: But I'm afraid more is needed. The prince must finish the job. And consummate the curse which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves.
Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune. Rick: Immune from what? Beni: Piszkas allat. Rick: What did you say? Beni: I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.
Rick: So let me get this straight, they reducted your guts and they stuffed them in jars? Evelyn: And they took out your heart as well. Oh, and do you know how they took out your brain? Jonathan: Evy, I don't think that we need to know this Evelyn: They took a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils. Rick: Ooh, that's got to hurt. Evelyn: It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this. Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification. Jonathan: Likewise.
Evelyn: (after destroying the museum library) Oops.
Dr Bey: (stutters in disbelief) Oh look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies, locusts! Anything but you. Compared to you the other plagues were a joy! Evelyn: I am so very sorry it was an accident. Dr Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!
(first lines) Ardeth Bay: (narrating) Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.
Evie and Im-Ho-Tep: Death is only the beginning.
(In a darkened room) Evelyn: Abdul? (no answer) Mohammed? (no answer) ... Bob?
(at Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus) Evelyn: Oh God, I hate it when these things do that. Rick: Is he supposed to look like that? Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy like that, he's still... still... Rick, Jonathan: ... juicy.
Rick: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.
Evelyn: We must stop the Mummy before he is fully regenerated. Who opened that chest? Mr Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels, and Burns of course, and, oh yes, that Egyptologist guy. Rick: What about my buddy Beni? Mr Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there before we even opened the damn thing. Mr Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one. Rick: That sounds like Beni.
Warden Gad Hassan: No more goat soup.
Mr Daniels: Stupid superstitious bastard.
Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map! Rick: Relax. I'm the map. It's all up here. (points to his head) Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting.
Rick: Time to close the door.
(Jonathan hands Evie a strange box) Jonathan: All my life I've never found anything Evie. Please tell me I've found something. (Evelyn opens the strange box, inside lies an ancient map) Evelyn: Jonathan? Jonathan: Yes? Evelyn: I think you found something.
Rick: You're sure you oughta play around with that thing? Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.
Evelyn: (about O'Connell) Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit. Rick: Anyone I know?
Warden Gad Hassan: What are we going to do? What are we going to do? Rick: (Jumping overboard) Wait here. I'll get help.
(entering Sah-Netjer) Jonathan: Whew! What is that god-awful stench? (sees the warden right behind him) Jonathan: Oh.
(Jonathan looks through the warden's pouch. Suddenly he cuts himself on something) Evelyn: What is it? Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet 12 years old. He may have been a stinking fellow, but he had good taste.
(being chased by a sandstorm) Rick: Hey, Winston! Paddle faster.
Mr Henderson: Do they know something we don't? Dr Allen Chamberlain: They're led by a woman. What does a woman know?
Evelyn: Why is this man in prison? Warden Gad Hassan: This I did not know. But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that thing myself. Evelyn: And what did he say? Warden Gad Hassan: That he was just looking for a good time.
Dr Allen Chamberlain: What have we done?
Beni: You just got promoted. Rick: You will be with me on this? Beni: Oh, your strength gives me strength. (Beni runs away)
Beni: I need a new job.
Evelyn: Keep him busy. Rick: (being thrown against a pillar by Imhotep) No problem.
Rick: (to Evelyn) Are you all right? Jonathan: (standing several feet behind Rick) I'm not sure...
Evelyn: Have you no respect for the dead? Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I'd rather like to join them. Evelyn: Well I wish you'd join them sooner rather than later before you ruin my career the way you ruined yours.
Rick: Hey! Get your ugly face offa her.
Evelyn: Where are they taking him? Warden Gad Hassan: To be hanged. Apparently, he had a VERY good time.
Rick: (Seeing Imhotep regenerate) We are in serious trouble.
Evelyn: There is only one man I know who can possibly give us some answers. (Sees Ardeth Bay) Evelyn: You? Dr Bey: Miss Carnahan. Gentlemen. Evelyn: (about Ardeth) What is he doing here? Dr Bey: Do you really want to know, or would you rather just shoot us? Rick: After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here.
Jonathan: I guess we go home empty handed. Again. Rick: (kisses Evy) I wouldn't say that. Jonathan: Oh please. (to his camel) Jonathan: How about you darling, you want a little kissy-kiss too? (the camel breathes on him) Jonathan: Whew!
Imhotep: Keetah mi pharos, aja nilo. Beni: (translating) Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine, forever. Evelyn: For all eternity, you idiot.
(a scarab has just crawled under Jonathan's skin) Jonathan: Do something! Do something! (Rick flicks a knife) Not that! Not that!
Beni: You never believed in Hamunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going now? Rick: You see that girl over there? (points to Evelyn) Rick: She saved my neck. Beni: You always did have more balls than brains.
Winston: You know O'Connell, ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me. Rick: Yeah? We all have our little problems today, don't we Winston?
Ardeth Bey: Now, this creature is bringer of death. He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop.
Jonathan: What was that sound? Rick: It sounded like... bugs. Evelyn: (to the warden) He said bugs. Warden Gad Hassan: What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs.
Jonathan: I never did like camels. They're filthy buggers, they smell, they bite, they spit. (the warden spits) Jonathan: Disgusting.
Beni: I loved the sand wall trick, it was beautiful... you bastard.
(They have just walked into a large room full of gold) Jonathan: Can you see... Rick: Yeah. Jonathan: Can you believe... Rick: Yeah. Jonathan: Can we just... Rick: No.
Evelyn: (to Imhotep) Stop it! You'll kill them. Beni: That's the idea.
Winston: (stepping into a fountain) Some bloody idiot spilled his drink.
(after the warden has died) Evelyn: What do you suppose killed him? Rick: Did you ever see him eat?
Jonathan: (trying to buy some camels from a Bedouin) I only want four, not the whole bloody herd!
Warden Gad Hassan: Look For BUGS... I HATE bugs
Rick: Look at what I've got! (holds up the cat) Imhotep: (gasps) Cat: (hisses) Imhotep: (shrieks and flees in a dust storm)
Evelyn: Oh, get over it! It wasn't that good of a kiss.
Imhotep: Kootash da na, aja nilo. Beni: (translating) Take my hand and I will spare your friends.