The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean

1972

Rev. Mr LaSalle: What has happened here? Judge Roy Bean: These men tried to hang me. They have been killed for it. Rev. Mr LaSalle: How many of 'em are there? Judge Roy Bean: A lot of 'em. Rev. Mr LaSalle: Who did the killing? Judge Roy Bean: I did. They were bad men, and the whores weren't ladies. Rev. Mr LaSalle: Vengeance is mine sayeth, the Lord! Judge Roy Bean: It was. I'm waiting for the buzzards. They don't deserve burying. Rev. Mr LaSalle: Maybe they don't, but they ought to be. They are a stench and an abomination! I got a shovel if you don't.

Rev. Mr LaSalle: I will read over the dead now. My Bible, please. Mister, uh... Judge Roy Bean: Bean. Rev. Mr LaSalle: Bean? Judge Roy Bean: Roy Bean. Judge Roy Bean. I am the law in this area. Rev. Mr LaSalle: What has qualified you as such? Judge Roy Bean: I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard. But I had never killed a man before. Oh, I had shot at some... in self-defense or blind fright, but I never hit anyone. So God must have directed my bullets. Why, he even sent an angel to deliver this weapon (gun) . Rev. Mr LaSalle: Just how do you intend to dispense this law? Judge Roy Bean: With this (gun) and a rope. Rev. Mr LaSalle: And will you rely again on the grace of God? Judge Roy Bean: Well, I intend to (gun) practice and give Him some help. Get on with the reading.

(Bean has just shot a man for shooting a picture of Lily Langtry) Judge Roy Bean: Justifiable homicide. (Goes through the man's pockets) I fine this man, uh, $50 for disturbing the peace and $10 for lying around. Nick the Grub (Jackson gang) : (Bean has shot Bad Bob from ambush with a buffalo rifle) Damn, Judge! You shot him in the back! Whorehouse Lucky Jim Jackson gang: Appears like he shot him in the back and the front! Judge, you didn't give him no chance! Judge Roy Bean: He'd didn't deserve a chance. If he wanted a chance; he should have gone somewhere else.

Judge Roy Bean: The last time that bear ate a lawyer, he had the runs for thirty-three days.

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