The Last Frontier

1996

Joy: Well, I hope you enjoyed that kiss, because until you cancel your little peep show this bod is off limits. Matt: Honey, come here. Joy: No, Matt, you've made your bed. Now you can lie in it... alone. Matt: I don't get it. Joy: Exactly.

Reed: My brother ate a lot of bugs as a kid. In a way, I blame myself. Billy: Why? Reed: I was shoving them in his mouth.

Reed: Trust me. One look at this and you won't be thinking about sex. (Plays video tape.) Matt: Grandma? Reed: It's her 75th birthday party. This is where she kisses you on the mouth.

Billy: Hey, come on, Reed. Marriage is about compromise. It's alright if he gives in once in a while. Reed: He always gives in. Billy: Oh yeah. Say Matt, when you play baseball, what do you scratch?

Kate: I know I haven't lived her that long, but I thought you were the kind of guys that could appreciate women for more than just their bodies. Reed: Kate, as a feminist, I resent that. (pause) Hey, it gets me laid.

Billy: Look, it's not his fault. His mother made sure he got daily x-rays. Reed: Well at least my crib light wasn't a french fry lamp. Kate: Why do men always show affection by putting each other down? Billy: Oh that's just when women are around. As soon as you leave, we're gonna highlight our hair and bitch about our hips.

Kate: Isn't hacking into someone's account illegal? Andy: Yeah. You'd think it'd be harder.

(Andy and Kate just saw their roommates storm out of the room after a fight.) Andy: This is too weird. Kate: I know. I feel terrible. Andy: No. No. No. Tori Spelling's on the chat line.

Kate: You guys need to talk. Billy: Huh. Talk. Why is it women always think talking is the answer? Andy: Yeah. And why is it women always get so upset when you stand outside their window and watch them all night?

(Billy tracks Reed down at an ice fishing shack.) Reed: What are you doing here? Billy: Well, I was uh taking out the trash and I thought of you.

Billy: Why'd you do it? Reed: What do you want me to say? I had the money and was just too cheap to give it to you? Billy: I want the truth. Reed: Alright. I had the money and I was just too cheap to give it to you. (Exhales) Feels good to get that off my chest.

Reed: Remember those five teamsters I flew out to Lake Alexander? They gave me a huge tip... which is weird because I only brought four of them back.

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