The Jerry Springer Show

(last line of the show) Host: Please take care of yourselves... and each other.

Host: (commenting on a pimp's attire) Somewhere, there's a Motel 6 missing a curtain.

Host: There's two ways you can tell I'm a Jew. One is the nose. I'm not showing you the other thing.

Steve (security) : (from a commercial) I'm Steve, and I'm here to help. Anything you need, anywhere you are.

Steve (security) : (to a woman's abusive boyfriend) If I have to carry her out because she's too weak to walk, then I will carry her out. And you won't get in the way, or I'm gonna have to carry you out. And you're not gonna like that.

Steve (security) : (to a woman's abusive boyfriend) I'm taking her out of this rat trap, and there's not a damn thing you're gonna do about it. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Steve (security) : (to a woman's abusive boyfriend) You're gonna get up off your fat ass and get your stuff together, or I'm gonna make you.

Steve (security) : You know, I've met some real scumbags, but you've gotta be the lowest of the low.

Host: (to a stripper describing her act) Okay, now you did say you put these in your *acts*, right?

Steve (security) : Look at this! This is no place for a dog to live!

Brad Armstrong: (to his girlfriend, who he trying to reconcile with) But sweetheart, I haven't cheated on you in two weeks.

Donnie Galyon: Honey, I just bought you a new house. Host: I hope it's a Double wide.

Ron Jeremy: (referring to his gay lover whom he is cheating with) What you don't know it that when you were asleep, he was on the midnight creep to my motel room.

Female Guest: She is a whore! She's a dirty little H-O-R-E!

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