The Incredibles
2004
Lucius: Honey? Honey: What? Lucius: Where's my super suit? Honey: What? Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit? Honey: I, uh, put it away. Lucius: Where? Honey: Why do you need to know? (helicopter explodes outside) Lucius: I need it! (Lucius rummages through another room in his condo) Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derrin'-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months! Lucius: The public is in danger! Honey: My evening's in danger! Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good! Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!
Mr Incredible: No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!
(last lines) Underminer: Behold, the Underminer! I'm always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!
Bob: (Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to an old lady) "Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to say take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't. Bob: (old lady scribbles details of Bob's loophole on a small notepad) I also do not advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you to resolve the matter quickly. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do. Bob: (old lady tries to thank him for everything, but Bob shushes her and shouts very loud) Thank you ma'm, I know you are upset. Bob: (very softly to old lady) Pretend to be upset! (old lady starts sobbing very convincingly)
Rick Dicker: We've frozen all of Syndrome's assets. If he even sneezes, we'll be there with a tissue and a pair of handcuffs.
Old Man #1: Ya see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school. Old Man #2: Yeah. No school like the old school. Old Man #1: Right!
Lucius: (Bob and Lucius are sitting in a parked car, reminiscing) So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do? Bob: (laughing) He starts monologuing. Lucius: He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda. Bob: Yammering. Lucius: Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!
Helen: Now it's perfectly normal... (is interrupted by Violet) Violet: Normal? Normal? What do you know about being normal? What does anyone in this family know about being normal? Helen: Now wait a minute young lady... Violet: We act normal, mum, I want to be normal, the only normal one around here is Jack-Jack and he's not even toilet trained. Jack Jack Parr: (bursts out laughing) Dash: He's lucky... I mean, not about being normal...
Dash: (answers door) Hey, Lucius! Lucius: Hey, Speedo, Helen, Vi, Jack-Jack. Bob: Hey, hey! *Ice* of you to join us. Lucius: Ha! Haven't heard that one before. Dash: (with mouth full of water) Hey, Lucius. (spits it out) Lucius: Whoah! (jumps and freezes water then catches it) Lucius: Ha ha! Dash: Aww, I like it when it shatters. Bob: Let's go. Helen: Where are you going? Bob: It's Wednesday. Helen: Oh, Bowling Night. Say hello to Honey for me, Lucius. Lucius: Will do, goodnight Helen... goodnight, kids! (Bob and Lucius exit)
Edna: Your boy's suit I designed to withstand tremendous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature. Your daughter's suit was tricky, but I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely as she does. Your suit can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton.
Dash: She would be eating if we were having Tonyloaf. Violet: That's it! (jumps at Dash) Helen: Both of you sit down! (Dash runs around the table, hitting Violet as he passes her, until Violet makes a force field to stop him) Dash: Hey! No force fields! Violet: You started it! Helen: (grabs Dash and puts him on his seat) You sit down! (Grabs Violet and puts her in her seat) Helen: You sit down! (Dash and Violet run under the table to fight, dragging Helen against the table) Helen: Bob! It's time to engage! Bob: What? Helen: Oh, don't just stand there, Bob, I need you to... intervene! Bob: You want me to intervene? (picks up table) Bob: There, I'm intervening! I'm intervening!
Lucius: Just like old times, eh Bob? Bob: (Slapping Lucius in the back) Yep, just like old times. Lucius: Ow! Yeah. Hurt then, too.
(first lines) Mr Incredible: Is this on? I mean, can break through walls, I just can't... can't get this on...
Oliver Sansweet: (Mr Incredible intercepts him on his way down and his momentum carries them both through the window of the building) Ow! I think you broke something. Mr Incredible: Well, with counseling, I think you'll come to forgive me.
Violet: (both Violet and Dash are speaking simultaneously) It's not my fault! Dash ran away and I knew I'd get blamed for it and I thought he'd try to sneak on the plane so I came in, you closed the doors so I couldn't find him and it's not my fault! Dash: THAT'S NOT TRUE! You said, "Something's up with Mom, we have to find out what!" It was YOUR idea, YOUR idea, 100 percent, all yours, all the time IDEA!" Helen: Wait a minute! You left Jack-Jack ALONE? Violet: (both start speaking simultaneously again) Yes Mom, I'm completely stupid OF COURSE we got a sitter do you think I'm totally irresponsible thanks a lot! Dash: No, we got someone Mom! Somebody great! We wouldn't do that!
(Helen is feeding Jack-Jack and making baby noises at him) Dash: Mom, you're making weird faces again. Helen: Noo, I'm not... Bob: (not looking up from the paper) You're making weird faces, honey.
Edna: Yes, words are useless, darling! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! That is why I show you my work! That is why you are here!
Mr Incredible: Bomb Voyage. Bomb Voyage: (French) Mr Incredible! Buddy: And IncrediBoy! Bomb Voyage: (not French, but with an accent) IncrediBoy? Buddy: Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots! Mr Incredible: Go home, Buddy. Buddy: What? Mr Incredible: Now. Bomb Voyage: (French) Little oaf. Buddy: Can we talk? (pulls Mr Incredible off to the side) Buddy: You always, always say "Be true to yourself," but you never say which part of yourself to be true to! Well, I finaly figured out who I am. I am your ward. IncrediBoy! Mr Incredible: And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy. Buddy: This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well, not every superhero has powers, you know. You can be super without them. I invented these. (points to his rocket boots) I can fly. Can you fly? Mr Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone. Bomb Voyage: (French) And your outfit is totally ridiculous!
Dash: That was the best vacation ever! I love our family.
Edna: I didn't know the baby's powers so I covered the basics. Helen: Jack-Jack doesn't have any powers. Edna: No? Well, he'll look fabulous anyway.
Edna: (to Mr Incredible) My God, you've gotten fat.
Helen: I think your father is in trouble. Violet: If you haven't noticed, Mom, we're not doin' so hot either.
Mr Incredible: I'm sorry, Buddy. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I know that now. Syndrome: Oh, so now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it goes. Seems there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I design weapons, and now I've designed a weapon that only I can defeat, and when I unleash it... (Mr Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, who dodges it and traps Mr Incredible with his zero-point energy ray) Syndrome: Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You caught me monologuing!
(to Mr Incredible) Syndrome: Oh, no. Elastigirl? You married Elastigirl? Ho, ho, ho... (sees the kids) Syndrome: Oh - and got biz-zay! It's a whole family of supers! Looks like I hit the jackpot! Oh, this is just too good!
Dash: Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of. Our powers made us special. Helen: Everyone's special, Dash. Dash: Which is another way of saying no-one is.
(Watching news reports about his Omnidroids) Syndrome: Oh, come on! You gotta admit this is cool!
Dash: Hey! No force fields!
Bob: Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in. Helen: While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don't think so. Bob: I'm asking you to wait with the kids. Helen: And I'm telling you not a chance. You're my husband, I'm with you - for better or worse. Bob: I have to do this alone. Helen: What is this to you? Playtime? Bob: No. Helen: So you can be Mr Incredible again? Bob: No! Helen: Then what? What is it? Bob: I'm not... Helen: Not what? Bob: Not... I'm not strong enough. Helen: Strong enough? And this will make you stronger? Bob: Yes. No! Helen: That's what this is? Some sort of work out? Bob: (shouts) I can't lose you again! I can't. Not again. I'm not s-strong enough. Helen: (kisses him) If we work together, you won't have to be. Bob: I don't know what will happen... Helen: Hey, c'mon. We're superheroes. What could happen?
Henchman: Every time they run, we take a shot!
Bob: Did I do something wrong? Gilbert Huph: (begrudgingly) No. Bob: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers? Gilbert Huph: The law requires that I answer, No. Bob: I thought we were supposed to help people. Gilbert Huph: You're supposed to help *our* people! Starting with our stockholders! Who's helping them out, Huh?
Helen: They're all just getting coffee... at the same time. Yeah.
Dash: We're dead! We're dead! We survived but we're dead!
Helen: (in Airplane with Dash and Violet) Wait a minute, you left Jack-Jack *alone*? Violet: Yes, Mom, I'm completely stupid. Of course we got a sitter. Do you think I'm totally irresponsibile? Thanks a lot. Helen: All right, well, who'd you get? (scene switch to telephone) Kari: You don't have to worry about one single thing, Mrs Parr. I've got this baby-sitting thing wired. I've taken courses and learned CPR, and I've got excellent marks and certificates I can produce on demand. Helen: Kari? Kari: I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Mozart makes babies smarter? Helen: Kari... Kari: ... And the beauty part is the babies don't even have to listen ?cause they're asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about! Helen: Kari, I really don't feel comfortable with this. I'll pay you for your trouble but I'd really rather call a service. Kari: Oh, there's really no need, Mrs Parr. I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out. Can't I, little baby? Who can handle it? Who can handle it?
Elastigirl: I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so.
Edna: This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it.
Gilbert Huph: (in Huph's office) You know, Bob... a company... Bob: Is like an enormous clock. Gilbert Huph: ... Is like an enormous cl... Yes, precisely.
Edna: I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now.
Helen: I love you, but if we're going to make this work, you have to be more than Mr Incredible.
Lucius: We look like bad guys. Incompetent bad guys!
Helen: You're late. When you asked me if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten. I thought it was playful banter. Bob: It *was* playful banter. Helen: Cutting it kinda close, don't ya think? Bob: You need to be more... *flexible.*
Bob: Are you doing anything later? Helen: I have a previous engagement.
(after the Parr's house is destroyed) Dash: Does this mean we have to move again?
Syndrome: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out!
Syndrome: (Slams Mr Incredible against the ground) Am I good enough now? (Slams him again) Who's super now? I'm Syndrome, your nemesis and... (inadvertently throws Mr Incredible) Syndrome: Oh, brilliant.
Boy on Tricycle: (after watching the Parr Family defeat Syndrome over their house) Oh, man? (shouts) That was totally wicked!
(Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building) Bob: Can't you put this out? Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast. Bob: What's that mean? Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob! Bob: You mean you've run out of ice? You can't run out of ice. I thought you could use the water in the air. Lucius: There *is no* water in the air! What's your excuse, run out of muscle? Bob: I can't just go smashing through walls. This building's getting weaker by the second. It's going to come down on top of us. Lucius: I wanted to go bowling!
Bob: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation. Bob: It's not a graduation. He's moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade. Helen: It's a ceremony! Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...
Violet: Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse - (whispering) their marriage.
Edna: I cut it a little roomy for the free movement; the fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin; it can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof; and machine washable, darling. That's a new feature.
(Bob notices the little boy on the tricycle staring at him for the second day in a row) Bob: Well, what are *you* waiting for? Little Boy on Tricycle: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess. Bob: Me too, kid.
(checking himself out in his superhero costume) Dash: Look, I'm The Dash. The Dash likes. Yeah-hah.
Dash: You want to go *toward* the people that tried to kill us? Helen: If it means land, yes.
Violet: You mean Dad's in trouble, or Dad is the trouble? Helen: I mean, either he's *in* trouble, or he's *going* to be.
Bob: I should have told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn't want you to worry. Helen: You didn't want me to *worry*? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle? Bob: (grinning happily) You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive.
Mirage: He's not weak, you know. Syndrome: What? Mirage: Valuing life is not weakness. Syndrome: Oh, hey, look, look, if you're talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control. Mirage: And disregarding it is not strength. Syndrome: Look, I called his bluff, sweetheart, that's all. I knew he wouldn't have it in him to actually... Mirage: (through her teeth) Next time you gamble, bet *your own* life.
(Helen hands the kids two masks) Helen: Put these on. Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it. And if anything goes wrong, use your powers. Violet: But you said never to use... Helen: I know what I said! (sighing) Remember the bad guys on the shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys aren't like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you are children. They *will* kill you if they get the chance. Do *not* give them that chance.
(the Incredibles crash/park their RV) Bob: Is everybody okay back there? Violet: Super duper, Dad. Dash: Let's do that again!
Bob: Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague? Edna: Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *gods*!
Edna: You need a new suit, that much is certain. Bob: A new suit? Well, where the heck am I gonna get a new suit? Edna: You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy, so ask me now before I again become sane. Bob: Wait? you want to make me a suit? Edna: You push too hard, darling! But I accept!
Edna: It will be bold! Dramatic! Bob: Yeah! Edna: Heroic! Bob: Yeah. Something classic - like Dynaguy. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots... Edna: (throws a wadded ball of paper at Bob's head) No capes! Bob: Isn't that my decision? Edna: Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids. Bob: Listen, E... Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when? his cape snagged on a missile fin! Bob: Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb... Edna: Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine! Bob: E, you can't generalize about these things... Edna: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snag on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! (shouts) No capes!
Bob: Want to catch a robber? Lucius: No. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing... just to shake things up?
Lucius: Superladies, they're always trying to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the relationship, or something like that. I say: girl, I don't want to know about your mild-mannered alter ego. You say that you're a... Ultra Mega Lightning Babe or something like that, that's all right with me. I'm good. I'm good.
Oliver Sansweet's Lawyer: Mr Sansweet didn't asked to be saved. Mr Sansweet didn't want to be saved. And the injuries received from Mr.Incredible's "actions," so-called, causes him daily pain. Bob: (lunging towards Sansweet) Hey, I saved your life! Oliver Sansweet: You didn't save my life, you ruined my death, that's what you did!
Edna: What are you talking about? You are Eliasti-girl! My god! Pull yourself together! 'What will you do?' Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he's Mr Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are. You know where he is, go and cofront the problem. Fight. Win! And do call me when you get back, Darling. I enjoy our visits.
Bob: You know I'm retired from hero work. Edna: As am I, Robert, yet here we are.
Bob: (to Buddy) You're not affiliated with me!
(repeated line) Bob: Showtime.
Helen: You're in charge until I get back, Violet. Dash: What? Violet: You heard her.
(repeated line) Bob: Uh-oh.
Buddy: (about his newest Omnidroid) It's bigger. It's badder. Ladies and gentlemen, it's too much for Mr Incredible!
Little Boy on Tricycle: (after witnessing a huge explosion) That was totally wicked!
Dash: Are we there yet? Bob: We get there when we get there!
(In the RV, traveling to the mainland) Dash: Are we there yet? Bob: We get there when we get there!
(to her panicking children, having just survived a plane crash) Helen: Stop it, both of you! We are not going to die! Now, you will both get a grip or so help me, I'll ground you for a month. Understand?
Helen: Now our kids are in trouble? Bob: Well, if you suspected danger, why did you bring them? Helen: I didn't bring them! They stowed away! And I don't think you're striking the proper tone here!
Bob: (yelling to Helen as she holds up the RV) How ya doin', honey? Helen: (screaming back) Do I have to answer?
(going through an identification process) Edna: Edna Mode... (laser guns point at Elastigirl) Edna: ... and guest. (laser guns retract)
Dash: She'd eat if we were having Tonyloaf.
Kari: (on phone message) Hi, this is Kari, sorry for freakin' out but your baby has *special needs*.
(a captured Mr Incredible is begging Syndrome to call off the attack on Helen's jet) Mr Incredible: No! Call off the missiles. I'll do anything! Syndrome: Too late! 15 years too late.
Mr Incredible: You mean you killed off real heroes so that you could *pretend* to be one? Syndrome: Oh, I'm real all right. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts. Your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics the world has ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that *everyone* can have powers. *Everyone* can be Super! And when everyone's Super... no one will be.
(the Incredibles enter their house to find Syndrome holding Jack-Jack. Syndrome paralyses them with his immbobi-ray before they can make another move) Syndrome: Shhh. The baby's sleeping. (Syndrome gets up with Jack-Jack still in his arms, preparing to leave) Syndrome: You took away my future. I'm simply returning the favor. Oh, don't worry. I'll be a good mentor: supportive, encouraging. (Syndrome glares at Mr Incredible) Syndrome: Everything you *weren't*. And in time, who knows? He might make a good sidekick.
Syndrome: This isn't the end of it! I will get your son eventually! I will get your son!
(Syndrome captures a fuel truck in mid-air with his zero-point energy beam) Voice in crowd #1: The Supers have returned! Voice in crowd #2: Is that Fironic? Voice in crowd #3: Fironic? Voice in crowd #4: No, Fironic has a different outfit!
Syndrome: (during his fixed fight with the Omnidroid) Somebody needs to teach this hunk of metal... a few manners!
(Bob sneaks into the house late at night, but Helen has been waiting up for him) Helen: I thought you'd be back by 11. Bob: I said I'd be back later. Helen: I assumed you'd be back later. If you came back at all, you'd be back "later". Bob: Well I'm back, okay?
(Mirage releases Mr Incredible from his restraints and rushes over to him) Mirage: There isn't much time. (Mr Incredible grabs her by the throat) Mr Incredible: No, there isn't. (He stands up and holds her in the air) Mr Incredible: In fact, there's no time at all. Mirage: (Choking) Please. Mr Incredible: Why are you here? How can you *possibly* bring me lower? What *more* can you take away from me? Mirage: (Choking) You're family... survived the crash. They're here... on the island. Mr Incredible: They're alive?
Elastigirl: Let go of me, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep. Mr Incredible: How can I betray the perfect woman? Elastigirl: Oh, you're referring to *me* now?
Edna: Men at Bob's age are unstable, prone to weakness. Helen: What are you saying? Edna: Do you know where he is? Helen: Of course... Edna: Do you *know* where he is?
Syndrome: You, sir, truly are Mr Incredible. I was right to idolize you. I knew you were tough, but eluding the probe by hiding behind the bones of another super? I'm still geeking out about it! (sigh) And then you had to go and ruin the ride. I mean, Mr Incredible calling for help? (Mocking voice) Oh, help me! Help me! Lame, lame, lame, lame, *lame*!
Helen: Of course I have a secret identity. I mean, do you see me at the supermarket wearing this? Who wants to go shopping as Elastigirl, know what I'm saying?
Syndrome: (after the plane is shot down) Aw, you'll get over it. I seem to recall you like to work alone. (laughs maniacally; Mr Incredible tries to catch him, but Mirage pushes Syndrome out of the way and is captured) Mr Incredible: Release me, now! Syndrome: Or what? Mr Incredible: I'll crush her. Syndrome: That sounds a little dark for you. All right, go ahead. (Mirage gasps) Mr Incredible: It'll be easy, like breaking a toothpick. Syndrome: (chuckles) Show me. (after a tense few moments, Mr Incredible lets go of Mirage) Syndrome: I knew you wouldn't do it, even when you have nothing to lose. You're weak, and I've outgrown you.
Mirage: The supers are not gone. You're still here, Mr Incredible. You can still do great things. Or you can sit all night listening to police reports. Your choice.