The House That Shadows Built
1931
Sammy Brown: My name is Sammy Brown and I just came into town. Saw your ad, you're Mr Lee. Say, you can make a mint on me. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: What do you do? Sammy Brown: Dance, sing. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: Play a role? Sammy Brown: Anything. Say, I'm a find for guys like you, cause there's nothing I can't do. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: Tell me, where did you work before? Sammy Brown: In a department store. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: Who told you you could dance and sing? Sammy Brown: For money, I'll do anything.
Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: I need a drink. Tomalio: Alright, I'll take a drink. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: You'll take the air! Sammy Brown: The air he cries! Tomalio: I no like the air. It's too cold outside.
Caesar's Ghost: I played a part in Ben Hur once. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: What part did you play, sir? Caesar's Ghost: A girl, she played the part of Ben. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: And you? Caesar's Ghost: I played her.
Caesar's Ghost: I want to play a dramatic part, the kind that touch a woman's heart, to make her cry for me to die ... Tomalio: Did you ever get hit with a cocoanuts pie? Caesar's Ghost: (To Tomalio) That's my argument. Restrict immigration.
Sammy Brown: (After the Merchant of Wieners performs) Well, what do you think? Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: I wouldn't give him a dollar a week. Tomalio: Not so loud. He'll take it.
Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: (After Caesar's Ghost performs) Give me a brick! Caesar's Ghost: (Hands Mr Lee a brick) Here's a brick. I always carry one for this imitation. Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: Say, I ought to lay this on your head! Caesar's Ghost: You can't do that - you don't belong to my bricklayer's union!
Sammy Brown: This isn't Monkey Business.
(reading a note from The Merchant of Wieners) Mr Lee, Theatrical Agent: My name is What-Do-You-Care, my home is anywhere. People say I'm awful dumb, so I thought to you I'd come.
Caesar's Ghost: Now, just a moment, wait a minute. He might be crazy. Wait, I'll find out. You wanna go on the stage? (The Merchant of Wieners nods) Caesar's Ghost: Crazy.