The House in Nightmare Park
1973
(talking in his sleep) Foster Twelvetrees: Oh... no. Melanie, don't... you mustn't... I'm saving myself for Miss Right. (loud knocking) Foster Twelvetrees: Oh, no... oh Melanie... (more knocking, he wakes) Foster Twelvetrees: Eh? Oh! They won't let you enjoy anything in this house.
(Foster arrives at a remote country house) Foster Twelvetrees: Yoo-hoo! I'm here... the entertainment's arrived! I've played empty houses before, but blimey...
(unpacking in his room, Frankie sets up a load of photographs of himself) Foster Twelvetrees: Not bad for 32.
(referring to the lady of the manor's pet rabbits) Foster Twelvetrees: Look at their little noses twitching, wonderful sense of smell, you know. I could smell them before I came round the corner... Look at them, what a lovely pair. May I stroke them? I meant the rabbits!
Reggie Henderson: Damn moron! Foster Twelvetrees: Now watch it, mate! Reggie Henderson: The man's a cretin! Foster Twelvetrees: That's better.
(upon being rescued from a meat cleaver-wielding maniac) Foster Twelvetrees: If you hadn't come in, it would have been Sixtrees!
(commenting on the table wine) Foster Twelvetrees: It's a bit dry for my taste. I prefer it a bit... wetter.
(Verity faints while Foster is giving a recitation from Dickens' "The Old Curiosity Shop") Foster Twelvetrees: I was just giving her my "Little Nell." Reggie Henderson: You filthy swine!
Foster Twelvetrees: Do I play the piano? Does Paganini play the trumpet? Verity Henderson: Do you play by ear? Foster Twelvetrees: No, I'm going to use my fingers.
(to the coachman who abandons him a half mile from the menacing country house) Foster Twelvetrees: I hope your wick shrivels!