The Flintstones
1994
Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba doo!
Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you? Fred Flintstone: Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *SUPREME*. Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred. Fred Flintstone: Thanks pal.
Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man. Barney Rubble: Not from the back.
Betty Rubble: Barney, do you have to do everything Fred does?
Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life. Oh and two weeks paid vacation for all the workers in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.
Wilma: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us. Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again. Wilma: And that is more important to you than 30 years of friendship? Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.
Cliff Vandercave: Do you know what we do up here? Fred Flintstone: Well me and the guys have always wondered. Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone, we conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize. Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?
Grizzled Man: Wait, do you know this guy? Barney Rubble: No, he used to be my best friend. Heck if it weren't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened. Grizzled Man: Thanks for telling us. We could've made a very big mistake. Hang both of them!
Cliff Vandercave: I want you to fire Bernard Rubble. Fred Flintstone: Done! Wait, fire Barney, why? Cliff Vandercave: Well he scored the lowest on the company aptitude test. He's an imbosile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll. Fred Flintstone: But Mr Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage, I'm his best friend, I can't. Cliff Vandercave: Look, Fred, if you don't fire him, I will, and then I'll fire you.
Sharon Stone: can I get you anything? Coffee? Fred Flintstone: Sure. Sharon Stone: How would you like it? Fred Flintstone: In a cup? Sharon Stone: Bold choice, Mr Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.
(Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away) Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare? Barney Rubble: Yeah. Fred Flintstone: That one's yours. (Barney chases Dino)
Cliff Vandercave: Son of a Brachiosaurus!
Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. 'Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred? Fred Flintstone: Well you're bound to find something you're good at.
Pearl Slaghoople: Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out corrausing with a bunch of neanderthals. Fred Flintstone: Oh really? Well for your information the lodge no longer accepts neanderthals. Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river. Fred Flintstone: I've got half a mind... ! Pearl Slaghoople: Oh don't flatter yourself.
Adoption Agency Worker: Mr and Mrs Rubble, this is your little boy. (Presents Bamm-Bamm) Betty Rubble: Oh Barney isn't he precious? Fred Flintstone: Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey. Wilma Flintstone: Fred! Betty Rubble: Does he have a name? Adoption Agency Worker: Bamm-Bamm. Barney Rubble: Is that shot for something? Adoption Agency Worker: Yes, Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one, he doesn't speak yet and is alittle skimish around humans, but then again I would be too if I'd been raised by wild Mastadons. Ha ha ha. Barney Rubble, Betty Rubble: Mastadons? Adoption Agency Worker: Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.
Cashier: Mrs Rubble, there seems to be a slight problem with your credit card. Betty Rubble: Really? What's that? Cashier: It's no damn good! (Breaks the card with a hammer)
Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. Had car trouble, I picked up a nail. (Shows everyone a bandaid on his dirty foot) Mr Slate: Thank you for sharing that with us, Mr Flagstone. May we continue?
Fred Flintstone: (Holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build) I hate to bush your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in them?
Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money and everytime we get a little bit ahead you have to go blow it on some hair brained scheme. Fred Flintstone: Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, *I* AM THE KING! AND... Wilma Flintstone: And what... ? Fred! Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen.
Fred Flintstone: We'll make new friends, there's 4,000 other people in this world!
(after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job) Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick, what's my name? Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone! Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barn.
Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief? Fred Flintstone: No, simply Your Highness will do.
Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.
Fred Flintstone: This is my office? This is my chair? Cliff Vandercave: Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day but this big thing here is your desk. Fred Flintstone: My desk?
Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two? Fred Flintstone: ... I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.
Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii - (falls backwards out of his chair) Dictabird: Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?
Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone? Sharon Stone: Because you lied on your résumé? Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr Slate's fortune to keep us company. Sharon Stone: I'm glad we see eye to eye. Cliff Vandercave: And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
Sharon Stone: I'm worried, Cliff, I think Mr Flintstone is smarter than we thought. Cliff Vandercave: Ha. He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
Wilma's Mom: You could've married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel.
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, you poor, poor dear. You could have married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel. (gives Fred a nasty glare) Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse!
Barney Rubble: (On Fred's first day of being a VP) Well, guess this is it, Mr Flintstone. Go get'em, big guy. Fred Flintstone: Hey Barn. Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred? Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short. Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
Mr Slate: Gentlemen, please, I can't endorse this modernization if it means laying off all those workers. Some of them have been here since the beginning of time. Cliff Vandercave: What if I could quadruple your income? Mr Slate: I'll miss them. You were saying?
Cliff Vandercave: Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage where our steam powered conveyer belts carry... Bill: Steam? He's a mad man! Cliff Vandercave: *Steam* powered conveyer belts, carry the product...
Betty Rubble: You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves. Barney Rubble: You too, huh?
Betty Rubble: One day we'll look back on this and we're gonna laugh. Barney Rubble: Gee I hope so, Betty. Because tomorrow they got me testing shark repellent.
(after the bowling team hoes into the beer and howls) Hoagie: (grinning) It doesn't get any better than this!
Joe Rockhead: Whatcha got today? Hoagie: Lizard & Onions. Want half? Joe Rockhead: Sure!