(Cosmo and Wanda are talking to alien) Cosmo: The good news is, I named my nickel Phillip. Timmy Turner: Uh, what's the bad news? Cosmo: It's a girl nickel.

Dad Turner: Why don't I get to go to the nice klink?

Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.

(Mom Turner and Dad Turner are in a tank) Mom Turner: Wasn't that the Dinkleburgs' car? Dad Turner: I hope so, that's what I was aiming for.

(the holiday mascots are talking about what they do) Cupid: Well, I make kids fall in love. Kids: EW. Cupid: Point taken.

Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right. Cosmo: But three rights make a left and now it's time for the show!

Wanda: The good news is the alien we got you is prince of a distant planet whose parents are coming to destroy the earth. Timmy Turner: What's the bad news? Wanda: Oh, wait, that WAS the bad news. Timmy Turner: Then what's the good news? Cosmo: I found a nickel.

Cosmo: Not Vicky. Wanda: Icky with a V.

Denzel Crocker: But they're no match for my fairy detector chair. If they survive, THEY'RE FAIRIES. And if they don't, I HAVE TENURE.

Cosmo: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda loves me anyway. And that should be enough for you.

Timmy Turner: Hi. I'm Timmy. I have a short attention span and... (walks away)

Wanda: You made your dad cry. Cosmo: Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that.

(Re: chores) Cosmo: You could melt it wall with heat vision. Wanda: Or you could wish for the chores to be done. Timmy Turner: That's a good idea. I wish... Cosmo: OR you could melt it, with HEAT VISION. Timmy Turner: Gotta go with superpowers.

Young Bill Gates: I'll connect all the computers in the world. I'll call it the internet. Cosmo: That's silly! You should call it the Timmy. Young Bill Gates: Okay!

Timmy Turner: (after going back in time and Cosmo tells the Young Bill Gates to call the internet the Timmy) Hey, Dad, whatchya doin? Dad Turner: Just looking for a new trophy of the Timmy computer network.

Timmy Turner: Hey guys, what's new? (Cosmo lights candles under water) Wanda: The laws of physics.

(Trying to satisfy Jorgen Van Strangle with a slide show) Cosmo: ... And this is us cowering in fear 2 minutes ago, and this is us cowering in fear 1 minute ago, and this is us cowering in fear 30 seconds...

(after being turned into a turtle by Wanda's ex boyfriend) Cosmo: Revenge. REEVVEENGGE.

(after having his hand kissed by Wanda's ex) Cosmo: That's my hand bub, and I don't need magic to turn it into a fist. (Tries unsuccessfully)

(after being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy) Wandisimo: No. I am too sexy to eat.

Dad: Egad.

Timmy Turner: Yay. since there's no girls around i can do whatever i want. (Farts) Timmy Turner: Freedom. (Cosmo sniffs the air) Cosmo: Freedom stinks.

Wanda: And Cosmo still hasn't gotten over Super Toilet... Cosmo: It took the plunger, the whole plunger. (Cosmo curls into fetal position and sucks thumb)

(after his knowledge has been sucked out) Timmy Turner: What's going on? I don't know anything anymore. Cosmo: Welcome to my world.

Timmy Turner: Cool, I have five o'clock shadow. Cosmo: And it's only 7 am.

Timmy Turner: Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want. Cosmo: So can I, I'm just polite.

Cosmo: I married the smart one. Wanda: I married the... well he's cute, right?

Cosmo: This episode has been brought to you by the society for healthy colons.

Cosmo: If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot. Timmy Turner: And this would be news to her *how*?

Timmy Turner: Boring conversation. Can't focus.

(Timmy throws a water balloon at someone, which misses its target and ends up hitting someone in France) The French: We surrender.

Wandisimo: Can it be? Wanda the love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who I lost when he married you so you'd stay lost to me?

Cosmo: (because Wanda is dressed as a pancreas) (grinning) You can be removed?

Wanda: Uh-oh... my "Cosmo is going to make Timmy dead" sense is tingling.

Chester's Dad: (crying) Without that tooth, you look just like your momma.

Norm the Genie: (about Canada) (darkly) They've had it too good for too long.

Norm the Genie: Hold on there, Hunch Back of I've-Never-Spoken-To-A-Dame.

(repeated line) Denzel Crocker: (shouts) Fairly godparents!

Principal Waxelplax: (after Timmy has won the election and the kids have come back from getting food poisoning from cake) So, Timmy, what do you say to having all the responsibilities of president? Timmy Turner: Piece of cake! (all kids get sick and their faces turn green)

Mom Turner: Timmy, you know how your dad gets around people who are on money.

(repeated line) George Washington: Must... chop... WOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD.

Cosmo: That's what got me on probation.

Trixie Tang: You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.

Cosmo: Now will you hold me?

Mark, the Alien: I am a warrior prince from Eugopatamia... MY NAME'S MARK.

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Evil redheads make boy bands say "Ewww."

Dad Turner: Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.

Wanda: He thinks everything is funny. Watch. (turns to Cosmo) Pudding. Cosmo: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.

Timmy Turner: May I *please* have my ball back? Dr Bender: What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... NO! HAHAHA

Mayor: I hate not being the goat.

Principal Waxelplax: CROCKER!

Timmy Turner: (being embraced by Vicky) Urk... Oxygen... Darkness...

Cosmo: That's wiggity-wiggity-wack! Wanda: That's wiggity-wiggity-WHAT?

Denzel Crocker: YES! YES! Mrs Crocker: Denzel, can you scrub mommy's feet? Denzel Crocker: YES, I mean NO!

Wanda: (chasing Vicky through space) The force is strong with this one. Cosmo: Luke, I am your father. I always wanted to say that.

Mom Turner Hand Puppet: (talking to Dad Turner) I think you're being too hard on Timmy. Timmy Turner: No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay.

(after going back in time) Timmy Turner: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages! Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged! (Poofs into a middle aged man) Cosmo: YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

(after going back in time) Timmy: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages! Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged! (Poofs into a middle aged man) YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

Wanda: Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other. Timmy Turner: What's the other? Wanda, Cosmo: Timmy!

Timmy Turner: It's educational, and violent. But mostly violent. YEAH! Violence

A.J.: My mom packed me spinach. She wants me to have a healthy colon. What did your mom pack you? Timmy Turner: Candy!... And violence!

Dad Turner: (Mr Turner is being eaten by a dragon) It looks and feels like I'm getting real third degree burns! Ow! I mean, neat!

Vicky: All right twerp, time for bed! Timmy Turner: But it's only six-o-four! Vicky: Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED! (one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock changes to six-o-five) Cosmo: Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!

(after Timmy wishes that Cosmo and Wanda switch genders) Cosmo: (offscreen in the bathroom-Cosmo falls in the toilet) Ahh! Would it *kill* ya to leave the lid down? Wanda: Would it *kill* ya to look before ya sit?

Denzel Crocker: (Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom) No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person! (ducks behind his desk) HELP!

Denzel Crocker: Stupid two bit room! Stupid two bit van! Stupid two bit life! Mrs Crocker: Denzel! Would you like your stupid two bit dessert? I made your stupid two bit favorite!

Denzel Crocker: Look up in the sky! Is it a D? Is it an E? No! It's Super F!

Jorgen von Strangle: You have failed in your responsibility as fairy godparents! Wanda: So what? It's just a stupid inspection! You wanna send us back to the fairy academy, fine! But right now Timmy needs our help! (Wanda poofs away and Jorgan glares at Cosmo) Cosmo: Don't kill me!

Denzel Crocker: Curse this obsolete one month old technology!

Wanda: Awwwww, Goat Love! Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love around.

Mark Chang's Father: (about to let Mark stay with Vicky and is scared by timmy eating a flower) I-I mean no son! You can't. She's not where we're from! Vicky: You mean Europe? Mark Chang's Father: (silence) Oookayyyyy.

Mark Chang's Father: (about to let Mark stay with Vicky and is scared by Timmy eating a flower) I- I mean no, son! You can't. She's not where we're from! Vicky: You mean Europe? Mark Chang's Father: (silence) Oookayyyyy.

Cosmo: All right! Two wishes for Cosmo, none for Wanda! I'm on fire, baby!

Timmy Turner: (after being poofed back to the 1970s) In the future, there will be 500 TV channels. Young Dad Turner: Far out! Timmy Turner: But nothing to watch! Young Dad Turner: NOOOOOO!

(Timmy has just wished he had no emotions whatsoever) Wanda: So, sport, how do you feel? Timmy Turner: I do not.

Jorgen von Strangle: What in the name of my bulging tripceps is going on?

Jorgen von Strangle: For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy. Wandisimo: This I can live with.

Tootie: Why can't you give my love a chance?

Tootie: I'm so wet you can't even tell how much I'm crying!

Timmy Turner: It'll be our little secret... of LOOOOOOVE! Tootie: Oh, TIMMY!

(Cosmo has gotten breast implants) Cosmo: I'm keeping them.

Timmy Turner: Awesome- boys fighting over me!

Wanda: (Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library) Oh, Hillary! How did you put up with it?

Mom Turner: You just need to be more secure in your masculinity - like me.

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I'm totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. That way, she'll always have a piece of you to smother and choke. Timmy Turner: That's an oddly specific action phrase.

Cosmo: I don't get it. If you're not married to her, is she trying to kill you?

Norm the Genie: Seriously, have you ever *talked* to a girl?

Norm the Genie: (regarding Mr Crocker's appearance) That... thing on your neck. Is that your ear?

Chip Skylark: (about to faint) Tuesday's... apple sauce... day...

Timmy Turner: Feel better now? Chip Skylark: Yeah. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.

Dad Turner: Yay, I'm unemployed!

Dad Turner: It's deserted and lonely, just like my childhood!

Nega-Chin: Adam West's waistband!

Comicbook Writer: I hope it's my new issue of Geeks Who Live With Their Mothers Monthly!

Wanda: Timmy, you can't have both brains and brawn. You have to pick just one. Cosmo: Or do what I did. Pick neither.

Timmy Turner: (after wishing something bad would happen to Chip, which turned out to be being held hostage by Vicky) Sorry about all this, Chip. Chip Skylark: That's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.

Timmy Turner: It's fun and destructive. It's funstructive.

Dad Turner: (to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready) Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs are Dinkelburging!

Denzel Crocker: Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!

Young Dad Turner: Well, her real name is (a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young Dad) but everybody calls her Mom.

Cosmo: Apparently, another thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.

(Cosmo and Wanda are posing as Timmy's parents and are attending a parent teacher conference. Mr Crocker brings out an electric chair to determine whether they are fairies or humans) Denzel Crocker: May I offer you a chair? Cosmo: Sure! May I offer you a fish? (Cosmo gives Mr.Crocker the fish. Crocker slips and falls backwards into the electric chair with the fish) Cosmo: Fish sticks! Denzel Crocker: I'll be right back after I chip off the dead skin.

(Mr.Crocker gives Cosmo and Wanda coffee. The two of them start acting hyper and jump up and down) Cosmo: This coffee is great! (shouts) Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Where do they get this stuff? Denzel Crocker: Columbia. Wanda: Oh! We should go there!

Chester McBadbat: You replaced me with an actor with better teeth! A.J.: And more hair! Sanjay: And a well-oiled chest! (pause) What? Am I the only one who noticed?

Timmy Turner: I'm huge, I hurt people, and I'm misunderstood! Cosmo: Just like the IRS!

Mom Turner: Losing our son was the best thing to ever happen to us! Dad Turner: We have a son?

Timmy Turner: If I don't make it out of here... tell my dad... he's weird.

Cosmo: (after fairy world blows up) I regret nothing!

Cosmo: What's wrong with being naked in public?

Trixie Tang: He's so unfeeling! That makes him cool.

Jorgen von Strangle: It's time for some fairy-oke!

Announcer: (to Timmy, who is dressed in costume) You might want to take off the maid outfit; it's pretty creepy.

Cosmo: (Cosmo as gelatin) Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.

(angrily) Dad Turner: Oooh... Dinkelburgs!

Jorgen von Strangle: (Cosmo and Wanda have just passed their fairy examination by delaying Jorgen for a long time) Your delaying tactics were obviously part of your overall presentation. Very impressive, highly original. (shouts) Don't do it again!

Tom Sawyer: As they say in Missouri, I ain't goin' back to Missouri!

Sanjay: (dazed look at Timmy, as if he was coming onto him) I'll see you in my next dream.

The Crimson Chin: That's adorable. Justice makes it giggle!

Timmy Turner: Man, that was one tough montage.

Cosmo: Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.

Cosmo: The good news is I found my spleen! Timmy Turner: That's a rare steak. Cosmo: In that case, I'm taking it back. I ordered my spleen medium rare.

Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.

Cosmo: Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's trouble afoot - I mean, a-chin!

Wanda: You don't think... ? Cosmo: I never think!

Cosmo: (in Spanish class) Itengo un puerco en mis shortis! Wanda: What? You got a hog in your shorts? Cosmo: (pulling a hog out of his shorts) ¡Si!

Vicky: I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am.

Sanjay: (Timmy shows up to save everyone from Unwish Island) I'm having one of those dreams where Timmy saves me again! ... Where's your white horse?

Denzel Crocker: (shows painting) And here's another painting... The Scream. Timmy Turner: Why is he screaming? Denzel Crocker: Because he was wrong! And he got an F! (unrolls bottom of painting to reveal a table next to the screaming person, with an F on it) Like you! (sticks a paper marked F on Timmy's hair)

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