The Dukes of Hazzard
2005
Luke Duke: Yes. Yes. Wow. Ooh! (looking at guy on campus) Luke Duke: (to Bo) You've got to keep an open mind in college. (pats Bo on the rear)
(from trailer) Luke Duke: Buckle up, ladies, this might get exciting.
(from trailer) Daisy Duke: I think something bounced up into my undercarriage.
Bo Duke: Luke, you manwhore!
Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? Luke Duke: What? Uncle Jesse: A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.
Daisy Duke: You know what's gonna happen. They're gonna get caught and get thrown in jail. Then I'm gonna have to shake my ass at somebody to get them out. Uncle Jesse: That's why we love ya, honey.
Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm. Pauline: They *planted* a still? Why would they have to plant a still? Daisy Duke: 'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real still.
Uncle Jesse: What do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm? Luke Duke: What? Uncle Jesse: A playboy.
Campus Cop #1: Do you know how fast you were going? Bo Duke: What? Campus Cop #2: How fast you were going. Bo Duke: Ten? Campus Cop #1: Eight. Bo Duke: Isn't the speed limit ten? Campus Cop #1: Yeah. It is.
(as the Dukes drive into Atlanta) Female Passenger: Aren't you late for your Klan meeting, assholes?
Bo Duke: Don't hit him! That's AJ Foyt! Race Car Driver #1: The Fourth!
Bo Duke: (after shooting a gas can with a flaming arrow) Boom-shakalaka!
Uncle Jesse: Why are divorces so expensive? Luke Duke: Why? Uncle Jesse: 'Cause they're *worth* it!
Bo Duke: (Looking at the newly-restored General Lee) Oh, man, is that a Hemi? Oh, yes!
Boss Hogg: I want that road blocked tighter than a tick's ass!
Boss Hogg: I have $100 for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
Uncle Jesse: (after Luke crashes through a police roadblock) Give me your goddamn licence! Luke Duke: What license?
(from trailer) Prisoner #2: (to Boss Hogg) Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day?
Uncle Jesse: You know what happens when a politician takes Viagra? He gets taller!
Uncle Jesse: Here's another one; drunk walks out of a bar and runs into a guy carrying an antique grandfather clock. The guy drops the clock, breaking into a million pieces. He looks at the drunk and says, "Why don't you watch where you're going?" The drunk looks at him and says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else?"
Daisy Duke: (Boss Hogg has just had Bo and Luke arrested) Wait a minute, the governor has something to say. Governor Jim Applewhite: What do I have to say? Daisy Duke: You know, about how these boys are environmentalist heroes for stopping the strip mining of Hazzard County and how in return you're going to pardon them for all of their crimes. Governor Jim Applewhite: Okay, friends, as you know, I've always been a friend of the environment and since these boys just saved this area from being exploited and strip mined, I've decided to pardon them for any and all crimes they have committed in the great state of Georgia. Uncle Jesse: Wait a minute; I wanna thank you for pardoning me too. Governor Jim Applewhite: What am I pardoning you for? Uncle Jesse: For this! (Uncle Jesse slugs Boss Hogg, knocking him out)
Daisy Duke: (Daisy walks into the sheriff's office wearing a very revealing bikini) Enos? (leans in very close to him) where's Boss Hogg holding Uncle Jesse and Pauline? Deputy Enos Strate: Uh, out at your farm. Daisy Duke: Thanks, Enos. (gets up and walks off smiling) That's got to be a new record.
Katie Johnson: This is my roommate Annette from Australia. Bo Duke: Oh, let's put another shrimp on the barbie! (everyone stares at him) Bo Duke: That's what they say down there...
Bo Duke: I'm never getting' out of this car again! I'm gonna eat in it, I'm gonna sleep in it, and I'm gonna make sweet love to it! Luke Duke: You mean you're gonna make sweet love *in* it. Bo Duke: No, I'm gonna have sex with it.
Cooter: (talking about the General Lee) I'm fixin' to fix it. Rosco P. Coltrane: You're fixin' to fix it? Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor.
Deputy Enos Strate: If Sheriff Rosco knew I was here, Boss Hogg would tan my hide. Luke Duke: He spanks you?
Campus Cop #1: (as the General Lee peels away from campus police) Mother of God...
Luke Duke: (Uncle Jesse takes a big gulp of moonshine while being pursued by the police) Stop that! Why are doin' that? Uncle Jesse: What I'm about to do, I don't want to remember a lot of it. (lights a wick in the jar and throws it at the police car chasing them)
Prisoner #1: Whoo, P! If you pop a feather in that hat maybe your man-hoe's would show you a little bit more respect, huzzah! Boss Hogg: I have $100 here for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out. Prisoner #2: (punches Prisoner #1 in the face)
Daisy Duke: I think something bounced up in my undercarriage.