The Batman

2004

The Joker: There were these two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other... Batman: Where are you keeping the gas, Joker? The Joker: You call that a punch line? Batman: I don't share your sense of humor.

Bane: The Batman, I presume? Batman: The masked look must really be catching on. Bane: Defeat me, and I will allow you to remove it. Batman: Hate to disappoint, but I don't fight for sport. Bane: Then fight for your life!

Catwoman: Hate to cut our first date short, cutie, but I like to leave a man wanting more.

Detective Ellen Yin: Police! Freeze! Mr Freeze: As you wish...

Mr Freeze: Have an ice evening.

Batman: We both know you put yourself on ice. I'm here to bring on the thaw.

Batman: Enough with the act. Lose the dummy. Scarface: I would, but he keeps following me around!

The Joker: Don't make me slap you, Jack! Get it? Jack? Slap Jack? (laughs maniaclly)

The Joker: Sorry Batman, but Joker always laughs last.

The Penguin: That's it, my pretties. Show me the money!

Alfred Pennyworth: The young man you were expecting apologizes. He won't be able to attend, I'm afraid. Becky: Let me guess. He's married. Alfred Pennyworth: To his work.

Batman: If Catwoman were somehow, some way able to trace the signal back here - Alfred Pennyworth: We would have to rename it "The Catcave".

The Penguin: Please, now that all pretenses are off, call me Penguin - a flightless bird, but one with style.

Batman: The reviews are in, Joker, your show's a flop.

Rupert Thorne: How-How'd you do that? Batman: I'm The Batman.

Detective Ethan Bennett: You're through, Joker! The Joker: Ah, Detective, or should I say, Night Watchman. Detective Ethan Bennett: Oh, so you remember me now? The Joker: I've never forget a face I've tormented.

Bruce Wayne: First day, Ethan. Nervous? Detective Ethan Bennett: I was a cop for six years, Bruce. You think I can't handle staring at a monitor? (steps into a room with monitor covered walls) Whoa! Bruce Wayne: Make that 350 monitors.

The Joker: Detective Bennett ... You're Clayface? Clayface: You turned me into Clay! The Joker: Funny, I was trying to turn you into dust.

Detective Ellen Yin: (about Clayface) He could be anywhere. Bruce Wayne: He could be anyone.

The Penguin: (seeing Joker as The Batman) Joker? The Joker: I'm The Batman! The Penguin: You see the thing is ... you're *not*! The Joker: The eggs, Penguin, or I scramble you! The Penguin: Are you out of your gourd? I'm in the middle of a heist! You don't see me barging in on your "Gas all of Gotham" schemes, do you? It is called professional courtesy!

Batman: (about Killer Croc's plan) Tens of thousands will be killed. Killer Croc: And I'll shed a crocodile tear for each and every one of 'em.

The Penguin: (to Man-Bat) What are you? And what do bats have against me, anyway?

Firefly: You shouldn't play with Firefly!

Batman: Keep a lookout. Detective Ellen Yin: (scoffs) I thought I was your partner. Batman: But you're not my sidekick.

Poison Ivy: You're getting to be a real thorn in my side, Batman. Batman: And you're no rose, Poison Ivy.

Ragdoll: Kitten's got claws. Catwoman: (cracks her whip) Kitten's got a whip!

The Joker: (upon noticing Hugo Strange) What a coinky dink! I wanted to talk about the Arkham diet. Too. Many. Nuts.

The Joker: He didn't even ask about Yin-In-The-Box.

Batman: And to think here I thought earthquakes struck without warning. Temblor: Buddy, you just dialed "D" for destruction!

Commissioner James Gordon: Set up a perimeter. If Mr Quake so much as breathes, I want someone there to tell me what he had for lunch.

Barbara Gordon: Pam, you hired a thug! Pamela Isley: Yeah, you'd be surprised what you can find on the Internet.

Poison Ivy: Who knew you had a sidekick? Batman: I don't.

Batman: Let me make myself clear. There's no room for a Batgirl in Gotham. Batgirl: That's cool, because it's Batwoman. As in I'm a grown woman and I don't need to listen to you. Batman: Then for your own safety, if you don't listen to me, I'm going to have tell your father, Ms Gordon. Batgirl: Ah... You must have me confused with some else. (silent for a second) Dude! You just broke the superhero secret identity code.

Catwoman: (to Batgirl, about Batman) I bet he never lets you drive. Batgirl: He barely lets me sidekick!

The Joker: Knock-knock! Killgore Steed: (opening the door) Evening, Joker. The Joker: (disappointed) You're supposed to say, "Who's there?"

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