The Addams Family

1991

Gomez: We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.

(Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair) Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair. Pugsley: Why? Wednesday: Because we're going to play a game. Pugsley: What game? Wednesday: (strapping him in) It's called, "Is There a God?"

Pugsley: Are they dead? Wednesday: Does it matter?

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons? Wednesday: Yes. Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons? Pugsley: Yes. Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal? Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

Gomez: That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

(Watching Pugsley sleep) Morticia: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.

Morticia: Children, what are you doing? Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him. Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction. Wednesday: But, Mother... Morticia: I said no. Pugsley: Pleeaaaase? Morticia: Oh, all right.

Morticia: Thing, you're a handful.

Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

Wednesday: Please pass the salt. Morticia: And what do we say? Wednesday: NOW.

Morticia: Wednesday, play with your food!

Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed? Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.

Gomez: They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!

Gomez: 2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!

Morticia: Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!

Dr Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill. Grandmama: Even with a chain saw!

Dr Pinderschloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no? Gomez: I did not hate my mother. It was an accident!

(as they examine a rare and valueable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity) Grandmama: Let's keep it! Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

(Looking for something in a closet) Morticia: Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack.

Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood. Margaret: He coughs up blood? Morticia: Well, not like he used to.

Wednesday: I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.

Margaret: Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume. Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

Grandmama: Dinner's gonna be late. (goes outside) Here, boy! Here, boy!

Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call. Gomez: Hello, Sally? Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr Addams, please stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive. The whole family. Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?

Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before? Wednesday: He's only a child. Uncle Fester: That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

Gomez: (watching home movies) You remember that fateful night? Uncle Fester: Um... Your first cigar! Gomez: What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.

Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you? Tully Alfford: Because I said yes.

Judge: (after a golf ball is hit through his window) Damn you, Addams! Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full. Judge: You moron!

(Pugsley is strapped to a pole, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth) Wednesday: Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing. (She levels a crossbow)

Grandmama: (steps inside) Dinner's gonna be late. (heads outside) Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!

Fauna Amor: I'm Fauna! Flora Amor: I'm Flora! Tully Alfford: I'm flattered.

Find these movie quotes interesting? Enjoy more classic quotes:

« The Accused88 Quotes Home The Addams Family »