That Thing You Do!

1996

Phil Horace: I've found that a hit record is like a stew. All the ingredients have to come together just right. Otherwise, it's just soup.

Mr White: You guys look great in black, have I told you that?

Mr White: You guys look great in gold, have I told you that?

Mr White: You guys look great in red, have I told you that?

Lenny: Where was I? Oh yeah, playing songs on my guitar.

Guy: Yeah, we were pretty wild up in Erie, Penn. Lenny: Yeah, there was this one time, we stayed up way past midnight.

Villapiano: Know what this is? Lenny: Presidential flashcards? Villapiano: Nope. A bonus. And do you know why? Lenny: I have no idea. Villapiano: To entice you back!... The word is out on you o-NEE-ders! Lenny: Hey, that's o-NEH-ders!

Heckler: Hey, when are you gonna play "That Thing You Do!"? Lenny: Has our fame preceded us? Heckler: We came here to meet girls and dance, and we can't meet girls until we dance!

Jimmy: Diane Dane told me never trust a label. And I'm beginning to believe her. Lenny: Well, sure. I mean, come on. They put us up in a first class hotel, all expenses paid, while our record climbs the charts; bunch of lyin' snakes. Jimmy: Sorry, I guess I'm just alone in my principles. (leaves the room) Lenny: Oh come on. Oh, there he goes off to his room to write that hit song "Alone in my principles."

Mr White: I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy.

Mr White: I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. Jimmy: (smiles and sings) I... I quit... I quit... I quit... (speaks seriously) I quit, Mr White.

Lenny: I play a lot of cards. Obviously. Wanna see my deck? (he flashes his cards) See? You gotta be quick! You gotta be quick with me! I'm from Erie, P.A.!

Freddy Fredrickson: Miss Diane Dane! There she is. Diane Dane. Look at that dress, huh? That's a... that's a... gold dress.

(during TV interview with band) Lenny Haise: Oh, I'm not here with these fellas. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and I am going to win that blue ribbon!

Faye: You mean actually make a record? A record record, record?

Mr White: You know, Horace was right about you, Guy; you are the smart one. Lenny is the fool, Jimmy is the... talent, and Faye is... well, now, Faye is special, isn't she? And you are the smart one. That's what I think, anyway.

Lenny Haise: You see, we're not "The Wonders" right now. We're "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters".

Lenny: (when asked what The Wonders' musical influences are) Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters.

Dell Paxton: Can't keep a band together. Bands come and go. What's important is your music.

(after Guy has gotten into a conversation with his idol, Del Paxton) Marguerite: Look at you. You're no good to me now.

Faye: Was she a good kisser? Guy: Yeah. Faye: Yeah? Guy: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.

Guy Patterson: When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, really, honestly good and kissed?

Mr White: Any questions? Don't ask. I'm tired of talking to you and I want to sleep.

(Asked whether his shades are prescription or just to look cool) Guy: Well, I am the drummer.

(When Jimmy is reluctant to sign a management contract) Lenny: Are you crazy? A man in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio! Gimme a pen, I'm signin'! You're signin'! We're all signin'!

Mr Patterson: Darlene, you just got promoted. Darlene Patterson: You mean you're gonna start paying me? Mr Patterson: I didn't say that.

Mr White: This "Oneders" thing, with the o-n-e, it doesn't work. It's confusing. From now on, you're just The Wonders. Lenny: As in, I wonder what happened to the O-Needers?

Lenny: Hey, wasn't that our fan?

Faye: I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.

Lenny Haise: So how long have you worked at Play-tone? Receptionist: How long have you been wearing such tight paints? Lenny Haise: Hey, if that's a pick-up line we're a match made in heaven.

Guy Patterson: I'm Guy Patterson, I'm from Erie, Pennsylvania, I'm in a band called The Wonders and we just cut a record, we're out here on the coast and I play the drums and I have all your records well not all of them but a lot of them but ah at least I did until some of them got swiped when I was stationed in Germany and you were playing in Germany at the time that I was stationed there, but you know what I couldn't see you because you were playing in Hamburg and I was stationed in Munich but I listen to your records and I think you're great. (takes a breath) You are my biggest fan. Dell Paxton: Thanks.

Mr White: It is very important that you don't stink today. Lenny Haise: Hey, I make no guarantees.

(after Faye has just broken up with Jimmy) Jimmy: Shoulda dumped you in Pittsburgh! (He gets up) Which one of you butts said we were engaged? Mr White: The same person who said you had class, Jimmy.

Lenny Haise: You're talking gibberish!

Guy Patterson: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.

Lenny: Skitch. How did we get here? Guy: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.

Jimmy: I... I quit, I quit. I quit.

(Reading an ad from a competing megamart) Mr Patterson: Open Saturday ten to ten. Open Sunday twelve to six... open on Sunday from twelve to six! You know, I don't believe I want to live in a country where you stay open on Sunday to business. You shouldn't have to work on Sunday to support your family.

Guy Patterson: But we still have a hit record. Mr White: Yes, you do. (thoughtfully) The one-hit Wonders. (looks at Guy) A very common tale.

Lenny: He's got a very pretty girlfriend there, huh? Chrissy: Is it serious, do you know? Lenny: Very serious... I'm single! Chrissy: (thoughtful pause) what about the bass player? Lenny: He's married!

Guy: When will the records be ready? Uncle Bob: Luke 21: 19 The Bass Player: In your patience possess ye your souls. Lenny: Luke? Who's Luke? When will the records be ready?

The Bass Player: Guys, Chad fell down.

Phil: I'm talking about *real* Rock 'N' Roll shows in Steubenville, Pittsburgh... The Bass Player: (interrupts) Pittsburgh? Lenny: Steubenville.

Mr White: (after movie gig) Good news guys. You get to keep your outfits.

Talent Show Emcee: Hey, how do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? Heckler: Your a jerk Em! Talent Show Emcee: You say HEY, would you like to buy a chicken? Heckler: Eat my shorts Em. Talent Show Emcee: Shut up! I'll kick your ass!

Jimmy: That was perfect, man! The Bass Player: Very good, took Chad a week to learn that. Lenny: Chad? Who's Chad?

Lenny: (girls climb on top of car) I like Wisconsin.

Jimmy: We were wondering if you'd like to fill in for Chad just for tonight. Guy: Why? Lenny: Asshole... just broke his arm!

Lenny: Thank you, Illinois! The Land of Lincoln!

Mr White: (as Lenny chews loudly on a piece of candy) Lenny, why don't you go and see if you can visit the cockpit. Tell them it's your birthday. Go! Go!

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