Sugar & Spice
2001
Lisa Janusch: ... he was a bar of chocolate and the whole school was on the rag - everybody wanted a piece.
Diane: Nobody ever got ahead by sitting on their behinds!
Lisa Janusch: I don't know about the Hey, but the Ho was right on.
Butch Girl: (Her speech for her campaign, she is holding a 4-H sign) It's all about the cows. Youth. Agriculture. 4-H RULES!
Lisa Janusch: (while watching a group of girls do cheerleading moves while robbing the bank) That's an illegal dismount.
(Kansas's mom sends Betty doll masks) Hannah: (reading card) Be careful, have fun. Ski masks are so done. Use these masks to fight the power and never bend over in the shower.
Hannah: I'm sorry, can someone else please run the board? It's creepy, it's wrong, and it goes against the teachings of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Kansas: Hannah, in order to get real answers from the Netherworld, you've gotta have a Christian virgin run the board. Your kind is pure of heart, the devil won't dick with you.
Lucy Whitman: You just became a statistic. Kansas: Oh, my god. I'm not the first.
Cleo Miller: Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant. You had it, threw it out, and now you're gonna go dance all night?
Diane: Morning sunshine, remember, these are the best days of your life so far. (winks) .
Jack Bartlett: Who would you be, Count Chocula or Trix Rabbit? Diane: Trix Rabbit. Jack Bartlett: I love this lady!
Diane: If the O.J. trial taught us anything, it taught us that, in America, you can cut somebody's head off and still be innocent as long as you have enough money.
Hannah: I'm gonna be someone's bald bitch!
Diane: You know, even the most beautiful flowers still grow from dirt. And we may be knee-deep in it right now, but we're gonna grow strong from this.
(overly hyper) Dianne's Mom: I'm DeeDee. You can remember me because of my double D's! Dianne's Dad: Honey, don't show them those! (to Jack's parents) And I'm Dianne's dad, Dennis. Now, don't try that after one of my screw-drivers. Dianne's Mom: Say, who wants pigs-in-a-blanket?
Cleo Miller: Can you imagine, Conan's head on Keanu's body? Unstoppable.
Kansas: My best friend got pregnant. Mrs Hill: Woohoo, before you? Kansas: Yeah that's what i said too.
Lisa Janusch: Then there's Hannah... she's like this uber-Christian or something. Doesn't really say much. In fact if she wasn't kind of pretty people would say, "Hey, who's the 'tard?"
Hannah: Technically I don't think I'm a virgin anymore. This past summer at church camp I think I had my first orgasm. Kansas: Any sentence that starts with church camp aint leading to the big O. Cleo Miller: That's not true Kansas. Jesus all sweaty and bare-chested on the cross always made me kinda hot. Diane: I want to hear. Hannah: Okay, so one night I want out horseback riding with the nuns - they went every night and we're trotting pretty hard you know. And suddenly I feel totally alive.
Lisa Janusch: It blew like a bulimic after Christmas dinner
Kansas: Yeah? Well, how would you like me to introduce my foot into your ass!
Kansas: Hey Lisa, did you meet Carmen Electra this summer? Lisa Janusch: No. Kansas: Oh, cause it looks like you got some of her tits on you.
Hannah: (at the ouija board) Who made up the one-question-a-week rule anyway?
Kansas: It's in the Bible, so just shut the hell up!
Mrs Hill: Kansas, I'd like you to meet someone special. (a lady comes up) Kansas: Jesus Christ, Mom! It's bad enough you're in prison, but you're a dyke too? Mrs Hill: Shut up! You mouthy little shit! Kansas: That's it, I'm outta here. Mrs Hill: Hold on a minute. She ain't my bitch if that's what you think. She's a specialist in banks.
Hannah: And Tim Conoway was very funny. And they all learned a lot from the experience a... Kansas: Wait a minute. You watched The Apple FUCKING Dumpling Gang?
Geeky Guy: I feel totally abandon in a place that values physical prowess over mental acuity. I can't wait until all of that changes in the real world.
Lisa Janusch: Normally I'm a good skater, but some jealous fag (shows a picture of Bruce) , who will remain nameless, obviously sabotaged them.
Diane: Jack sold the car for some goddamn gift of the Maggi thing- (looks at her pregnant belly) OOps! Mommy's sorry, sweetpeas. Swearing's the surest way to - oh, shit! Mommy needs a getaway car!
Cleo Miller: (They are about to rob a bank, and Cleo does something wrong) I'm sorry, Kansas. Kansas: No! Rule number two, no names! No goddamn names you retard! Cleo Miller: Well excuse me, White Trash Betty!