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Still Game

2002

(Jack and Victor enter The Clansman) Bobby: Hey look! It's Lambert and Butler! Jack: Shut it Bobby, you're the only fag in here.

(Victor is clearing out Jack's fridge when he comes across a dated looking can of Tennants Lager) Victor: Jeezo Jack, there's a lassie on this tin, it'll be well past it's sell-by. Jack: Ahh right, mind you, they never put sell-by dates on the cans back then, so it should be ok.

Victor: Consider this, you're warm noo, but how's it gonnae be in a wee stony jail cell, with nothing to heat ye up... but a hot boabie RIGHT up your arse!

(Jack and Victor enter The Clansman) Bobby the barman: Oh, Here comes Francie and Josie Jack, Victor: Shut up Dick! Bobby the barman: For the Millionth time, it's Bobby.

(Jack and Victor enter The Clansman) Bobby the barman: Oh, Look who it isnae. Jack: Oh that is fantastic, who are we no today ya prick. Victor: 2 Lagers, ya fanny.

(Jack and Victor enter The Clansman) Bobby the barman: Oh, here they come. Abbott and Costello. You're putting the beef on Jack. Jack: Aye, that right. Everytime i shag your wife, she makes me a sandwich.

Isa Drennan: I wis just sayin tae Jack and Victor, it'd be handy tae hae a key fur Wullie MacIntosh's hoose. Winston Ingram: I hae a key (gets whacked by Victor) ... fur mah door. It's handy 'cause if I didnae hae wan, I'd huf tae climb in through the windae.

Bobby the barman: (Jack and Victor enter the Clansman) Ho-ho, it's the two Ronnies. Victor: The two Ronnies is it, aye? Well, then, it's shut-up-ya-prick frae me... Jack: And its shut-up-ya-prick frae him.

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