Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
1993
Worf: It has come to my attention that Omet'iklan has made a threat against your life. Sisko: I didn't think it was public knowledge. Worf: You told Commander Dax. Sisko: Well, that explains it.
Quark: You know what I like about Klingon stories? Nothing. A lot of people die, and nobody makes a profit.
Lt Nog: I've learned never to turn my back on you. Elim Garak: There's hope for you yet.
Sisko: Do you really want to give up your life for 'the order of things'? Remata'Klan: It is not my life to give. And it never was.
(Jem'Hadar and Starfleet rallying their troops before fighting a common Omet'iklan: I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember, victory is life. O'Brien: I am Miles O'Brien and I am very much alive. And I wish to stay that way.
Worf: At the first sign of betrayal I will kill him, but I promise to return the body intact.
Major Kira Nerys: You really believe that we're going to have this intimate relationship? Gul Dukat: We already do.
Gul Dukat: You and me on the same side? It never seemed right, did it?
Elim Garak: Kiss the girl, get the key... they never taught us *that* in the Obsidian Order.
Gul Dukat: This I vow with my life's blood: Cardassia will be made whole again. For my son... for all our sons.
Gul Dukat: speaking to his people) You might ask, should we fear joining the Dominion? And I answer you: Not in the least. We should embrace the opportunity. The Dominion recognizes us for what we are, the true leaders of the Alpha Quadrant. And now that we are joined together, equal partners in all endeavors, the only people with anything to fear will be our enemies. My oldest son's birthday is in five days. To him, and to Cardassians everywhere, I make the following pledge: By the time his birthday dawns, there will not be a single Klingon alive inside Cardassian territory. Or a single Maquis colony left within our borders. Cardassia will be made whole, all that we have lost will be ours again. And anyone who stands in our way will be destroyed. This I vow with my life's blood, for my son, for all our sons.
Odo: I'll never understand the humanoid need to... 'couple.' Quark: You've never... coupled? Odo: Choose not to. Too many compromises. You want to watch the karo-net tournament; she wants to listen to music, so you compromise - you listen to music. You like Earth Jazz; she prefers Klingon Opera so you compromise - you listen to Klingon Opera. So here you were ready to have a nice night watching the karo-net match and you wind up spending an agonizing evening listening to Klingon Opera.
Colonel Kira Nerys: Quark, if you don't take your hand off my hip, you'll never be able to raise a glass with it again. Quark: Oh, I love a woman in uniform.
Sisko: Major, go over my head again, and I'll have yours on a platter.
Elim Garak: I believe in coincidences, coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences.
(Last line of the series) Quark: The more things change... the more they stay the same.
Sisko: There's an old saying: "Fortune favors the bold."
Quark: I'm not trying to rescue you, I'm taking you along as emergency rations. If you die, I'll eat you.
(Preparing for a secret mission) Rom: I won't even tell them my name. O'Brien: Rom, everyone on the station knows your name. Rom: Well... I won't confirm it.
(playing baseball) Worf: Death to the opposition.
(Odo is dying of the Founder's disease, lying in sickbay) Odo: I want you to go, Nerys. Major Kira Nerys: Why? Odo: You watched Bareil die in this very room. I know how that's always haunted you. I don't want your last memory of me to be witnessing my death. Major Kira Nerys: Isn't that my choice? Odo: Maybe it is. And maybe I'm being selfish by telling you everything *I* want. But I don't want the last thing *I* see to be pain in you eyes. Major Kira Nerys: You'd be surprised how well I can hide my feelings when I need to. Odo: Not from me. Major Kira Nerys: All right. (puts a hand on his cheek and leans in) Odo: I can't be a very pleasant sight Major Kira Nerys: I don't care how you look. (they kiss) Major Kira Nerys: There's so many things I want to say, I don't know where to begin. Odo: Just say you love me. That's all I've ever cared about. Major Kira Nerys: I love you, Odo. Odo: I love you, Nerys.
Gul Rusot: I think I hit a nerve. Major Kira Nerys: (strangling him) No, *this* is hitting a nerve.
(to Kira) Odo: Well, I was hoping that our relationship would be a long and happy one, but I suppose I'm willing to settle for short and exciting.
Jack: There are rules! Don't talk with your mouth full. Don't open an airlock when someone's inside it. And don't lie about your genetic status.
Odo: I see I'm going to have to add the word "pickpocket" to your resume. Elim Garak: It's only a hobby.
(after Quark learns he won't be prosecuted for helping to sell illegal weapons) Quark: (relieved) Better luck next time! Sisko: (angerly swivels Quark's chair for a face-to-face talk) You better hope there *isn't* a next time, Mister! I have cut you a lot of slack in the past. I even looked away once or twice when I could have come down hard on you, but those days are over! Now we may not get you for selling weapons, but you so much as litter on the Promenade, and I will nail you to the wall! (storms out of Odo's office) Major Kira Nerys: (swivels Quark's chair in her direction with a smirk on her face) Something to look forward to! (also exits office)
General Martok: (to Worf, before his wedding) We are not accorded the luxury of choosing the women we fall in love with. Do you think Sirella is anything like the woman I thought I'd marry? She is a mercurial, arrogant, prideful woman who shares my bed far too infrequently for my taste. And yet... I love her deeply. We Klingons often tout our prowess in battle and our desire for honor and glory above all else... but how hollow is the sound of victory without someone to share it with. And Honor gives little comfort to a man alone in his home... and in his heart.
Odo: What do you know about the death of Ensign Aquino? Quark: You wound me. We have known each other for many years. Odo, I am not a killer! Odo: No, but most of your friends are. Quark: True, and I would gladly sell one of them to you if I could. But unfortunately, no one has come forward confessing to the death of the Starfleet officer.
Odo: Keep your ears open. Quark: Are you kidding? That's the Seventh Rule of Acquisition.
(Rom returned a beautiful woman's lost wallet) Quark: Have you forgotten the First Rule of Acquisition? Rom: No, brother. Quark: Then repeat it! Rom: "Once you have their money, you never give it back."
Martus Mazur: I bet you're enjoying this. Quark: Taken in by one of your own victims, and no one to turn to but me? Ha-ha-ha! I can't remember when I've been so entertained.
Martus Mazur: I still have my dignity. Quark: "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack." Rule of Acquisition Number 109.
(Quark is pushing a heavy chest down the access tunnel) Dr Julian Bashir: Quark, leave it! Quark: I can't leave it, it's all that I have. My personal mementos, my family album... Dr Julian Bashir: It's full of gold-pressed latinum, and you know it. Quark: ... Who told you? Dr Julian Bashir: Your mother did, the day you were born. (Quark shoves the chest aside and speed-crawls down the tunnel, until he's nose-to-nose with Bashir) Quark: NEVER-MAKE-FUN-OF-A-FERENGI'S-MOTHER. Rule of Acquisition Number 31!
Weyoun 6: "We become the ice". Only a god could think of such a thing. Odo: Well, let's just hope the Jem'Hadar give up their search before we freeze to death. Weyoun 6: My faith will keep me warm. Odo: Perhaps. But in an hour, you may want to trade in that faith for a thermal blanket.
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: First we shed blood, then we feast. Worf: As it should be.
Elim Garak: That's why you came to me, isn't it, Captain? Because you knew I could do those things that you weren't capable of doing? Well, it worked. And you'll get what you want: a war between the Romulans and the Dominion. And if your conscience is bothering you, you should soothe it with the knowledge that you may have just saved the entire Alpha Quadrant. And all it cost was the life of one Romulan senator, one criminal, and the self-respect of one Starfleet officer. I don't know about you, but I'd call that a bargain.
General Martok: There is no greater enemy than one's own fears.
(Relating a Changeling's last words) Odo: He said, "You're too late. We're everywhere."
Sisko: Maybe, just maybe, Benny isn't the dream: we are. Maybe we're nothing more than figments of his imagination. For all we know, at this very moment, somewhere, far beyond all those distant stars... Benny Russell is dreaming of us.
Dr Julian Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle. Elim Garak: But I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
Sisko: It's easy to be a saint in paradise.
Dr Julian Bashir: Well, in my medical opinion, it's sick.
Dr Julian Bashir: I'm a doctor, not a botanist.
(the crew has traveled back in time and are now wearing TOS-style uniforms. O'Brien is wearing red, Sisko gold, and Bashir blue) Dr Julian Bashir: Wait a minute. Aren't you two wearing the wrong colors? O'Brien: Don't you know anything about this period in time? Dr Julian Bashir: I'm a doctor, not an historian. Sisko: In the old days, operations officers wore red, command officers wore gold... (Dax appears behind them, dressed in a revealing TOS miniskirt-style uniform) Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: And women wore LESS.
Dr Julian Bashir: Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't? Elim Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true... Dr Julian Bashir: Even the lies? Elim Garak: Especially the lies.
Worf: You rule without wisdom and without honor.
Worf: (to Gowron) You rule without wisdom and without honour!
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: (reciting Klingon history) ... but the second Dynasty ended... when General K'Trelan assassinated... Emperor Reclaw. For the next ten... years, the Empire was ruled by a... council elected by the people... Modern-day Klingon historians... refer to this as "The Dark Time".
(Bashir has been under investigation by Section 31 for treason) Dr Julian Bashir: So, what does Section 31 do, aside from kidnapping and interrogating Starfleet officers? Luther Sloan: We seek out and identify threats to the Federation. Dr Julian Bashir: And once these threats are identified? Luther Sloan: We deal with them. Dr Julian Bashir: How? Luther Sloan: Quietly. Dr Julian Bashir: So if you had been right, and I had been a spy for the Dominion... Luther Sloan: We wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
(Bashir is being investigated by Section 31) Dr Julian Bashir: So what does Section 31 do, aside from kidnapping and interrogating Starfleet officers? Luther Sloan: We seek out and identify threats to the Federation. Dr Julian Bashir: And once these threats have been identified? Luther Sloan: We deal with them. Dr Julian Bashir: How? Luther Sloan: Quietly. Dr Julian Bashir: So if you had been right, and I had been a spy for the Dominion... Luther Sloan: We wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
General Martok: (after being assigned an incompetent aide) It's a pity that Captain Sisko frowns on summary executions.
Elim Garak: Doctor, has anyone ever told you that you are an infuriating pest? Dr Julian Bashir: Cheif O'Brien ALL the time, and I never pay any attention to HIM either!
Dr Julian Bashir: If you're not a spy... maybe you're an outcast. Elim Garak: Or maybe I'm an outcast spy. Dr Julian Bashir: How can you be both? Elim Garak: I never said I was either.
Elim Garak: Is that your plan? Dr Julian Bashir: Shut up!
Dr Julian Bashir: I don't need that image, either; in fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all.
Elim Garak: (Rolling his eyes) The eternal optimist! Dr Julian Bashir: Guilty as charged. Elim Garak: How sad. I must tell you, I'm disappointed at hearing you mouth the usual platitudes of peace and friendship regarding an implacable foe like the Romulans. But, I live in hope that one day, you'll come to see this universe for what it truly is, rather than what you'd wish it to be. Dr Julian Bashir: Then I shall endeavor to become more cynical with each passing day. Look gift horses squarely in the mouth, and find clouds in every silver lining. Elim Garak: (Smiling) If only you meant it.
Q: You hit me! Picard never hit me. Sisko: I'm not Picard. Q: Indeed not. You're much easier to provoke. How fortunate for me.
Damar: You don't have anything to hide, do you? (Looks at Leeta as she walks past) You certainly don't.
Gul Dukat: (to Weyoun) Have you ever been diagnosed as anhedonic?
(O'Brien, Bashir and Dax are all 1 centimeter tall) O'Brien: Are you telling I'm going to be this bloody tall for the rest of my life? Dr Julian Bashir: (indicating smaller) This bloody tall.
(Nog assessing a holographic rescue simulation) Lt Nog: ... And you shot Moogie. Ferengi: I saw we weren't going to rescue her so I put her out of her out of her misery. Ferengi 2: Why don't we try something easier? Lt Nog: Like what? Ferengi 2: Like ambushing a couple of Bolians? Lt Nog: You couldn't ambush a couple of Bolians if they were blindfolded and tied to a tree.
(after first seeing Ezri Dax) Jake Sisko: She is *so* cute. Sisko: She is also about three hundred years too old for you.
Elim Garak: You've come a long way from the naive young man I met five years ago. You've become distrustful and suspicious. It suits you. Dr Julian Bashir: I had a good teacher.
General Martok: I tell you Worf, war is much more fun when you are WINNING. Defeat makes my wounds ache.
Dr Julian Bashir: What are you eating? O'Brien: I'm not eating; I'm chewing. Dr Julian Bashir: Chewing what? O'Brien: Gum. It's traditional. I had the replicator create me some. Dr Julian Bashir: They just chewed it? O'Brien: No, they infused it with flavor. Dr Julian Bashir: What did you infuse it with? O'Brien: Scotch.
Sisko: Even in the darkest moments, you can always find something that'll make you smile.
Sisko: That may be the most important thing to understand about humans. It is the unknown that defines our existence. We are constantly searching... not just for answers to our questions... but for new questions. We are explorers... . We explore our lives day by day... and we explore the galaxy, trying to expand the boundaries of our knowledge. And that is why I am here. Not to conquer you with weapons or ideas. But to coexist and learn.
Dr Julian Bashir: Causing people to suffer because you hate them is terrible... but causing people to suffer because you have forgotten how to care... that's really hard to understand.
Odo: By the way, your gagh has arrived. Ezri Dax: My what?... Oh no. Odo: Oh yes. And it's waiting for you in Cargo Bay Two. Colonel Kira Nerys: (incredulous) Your *gagh*? Ezri Dax: Jadzia ordered it. She was planning a party for Martok's birthday next week. Colonel Kira Nerys: How much gagh did she order? Odo: Fifty-one cases. Ezri Dax: Each containing a different variety. Colonel Kira Nerys: There are *varieties* of gagh? Ezri Dax: Oh yes. I can remember what each one tastes like. And the way they feel when you... swallow them. Torga'gagh wiggles. Fildin'gagh squirms. Michi'gagh jumps (her gorge rises; the conversation continues as she composes herself) Ezri Dax: ... Bethul'gagh has *feet*... (to Odo) Ezri Dax: Flush it out the airlock. All of it. Odo: (shaking his head) Environmental regulations. Colonel Kira Nerys: Why don't you just give it to Martok? Ezri Dax: He'd insist on sharing it with me, as a point of honor. (sighs) Ezri Dax: Wistin'gagh is packed in Targ blood. (she looks down, nauseated) Ezri Dax: I have to go now.
Worf: I have a sense of humor. On the Enterprise, I was considered to be quite amusing. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: That must've been one dull ship. Worf: That is a joke. I get it. It is not funny, but I get it.
(after Bashir tells the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf) Dr Julian Bashir: The point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth. Elim Garak: Are you sure that's the point, doctor? Dr Julian Bashir: Of course. What else could it be? Elim Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.
(Ezri telling Worf, she finally told Bashir of her feelings) Worf: I am happy for You. But... I will have to kill him.
(a group of Klingons invade the tailor's shop) Elim Garak: Well, let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor.
Quark: All I know is that any marriage where the female is allowed to speak and wear clothing is doomed to failure.
(Garak takes a drink of root beer) Quark: What do you think? Elim Garak: It's vile. Quark: I know. It's so bubbly and cloying and happy. Elim Garak: Just like the Federation. Quark: And you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it. Elim Garak: It's insidious. Quark: Just like the Federation.
(Damar, the Cardassian leader, speaks to his people) Damar: Cardassians have never been afraid of war, a fact we've proven time and again over these past two years. 7 million of our brave soldiers have given their lives to fulfill our part of the agreement, and what has the Dominion done in return? Nothing. We've gained no new territories. In fact, our influence throughout the Quadrant has diminished. And to make matters worse, we're not even masters in our own home. Travel anywhere in Cardassia and what do you find? Jem'Hadar, Vorta, and now Breen. Instead of the invaders, we have become the invaded. Our allies have conquered us without firing a single shot. Well, no longer. This morning, detachments of the Cardassian First, Third, and Ninth Orders attacked Dominion outposts on Rondack 3. This assault marks the first step towards the liberation of our homeland from the true oppressors of the Alpha Quadrant. I call upon Cardassians everywhere - Resist. Resist today. Resist tomorrow. Resist till the last Dominion soldier has been driven from our soil.
Odo: Has it ever occurred to you that the reason you believe the Founders are gods is because that's what they want you to believe? That they built it into your genetic code? Weyoun 6: Of course they did, that's what gods do. After all, why be a god if there's no one to worship you?
(about the appearance of early Klingons) Worf: We do not discuss it with outsiders...
(a criminal working for Sisko just tried to kill Quark) Sisko: Do you intend to press charges? Quark: You bet I do. Sisko: What would it take to convince you... otherwise? Quark: Are you offering me... a bribe? I knew it. I've always liked you, Captain. I suspected that somewhere deep down in your heart of hearts there was a tiny bit of Ferengi just waiting to get out. Sisko: What's your price? Quark: Well, let's start with replacing my clothes, and M'Pella's clothes. Sisko: All right. Quark: I'm not finished. I think I should also be compensated for the loss of business I've suffered today, which I would calculate as no less than five bars of gold-pressed latinum. Sisko: Done. Quark: I'm also having a problem with station security. They're holding some cargo containers I've been waiting for because of some kind of... missing import license or something. Sisko: I'll handle it, anything else? Quark: No, I think we can call it a bribe. And thank you, Captain. Thank you for restoring my faith in the 98th Rule of Acquisition: "Every man has his price".
(a criminal working for Sisko just tried to kill Quark) Sisko: Do you intend to press charges? Quark: You bet I do. Sisko: What would it take to convince you... otherwise? Quark: Are you offering me... a bribe? I knew it. I've always liked you, captain. I suspected that somewhere deep down in your heart of hearts there was a tiny bit of Ferengi just waiting to get out. Sisko: What's your price? Quark: Well, let's start with replacing my clothes, and M'Pella's clothes. Sisko: All right. Quark: I'm not finished. I think I should also be compensated for the loss of business I've suffered today, which I would calculate as no less than five bars of gold-pressed platinum. Sisko: Done. Quark: I'm also having a problem with station security. They're holding some cargo containers I've been waiting for because of some kind of... missing import license or something. Sisko: I'll handle it. Anything else? Quark: No. I think we can call it a bribe. And thank you, captain. Thank you for restoring my faith in the ninety-eighth Rule of Acquisition: "Every man has his price."
(about Weyoun) Damar: I'd like to toss that smug little Vorta out the nearest airlock. And his Founder with him. Gul Dukat: (laughs) Now, now Damar. That's no way to talk about our valued allies. Not until this war is over, anyway.
Odo: Unauthorized entry into crew quarters is a crime, Quark. You could have simply asked to use the replicators. Quark: There is an old Ferengi saying, 'Never ask when you can take.' So how did you figure it out? Odo: You claimed Rom fixed your replicators? Quark: Yes, so? Odo: Rom's an idiot; he couldn't fix a straw if it were bent. Quark: You're right, Rom is an idiot. Remind me to fire him.
Cadet Nog: I'm sorry captain, the names of Red Squad members are supposed to be secret. Sisko: But you know who they are? Cadet Nog: He-he. It's not easy keeping secrets from a Ferengi, and I feel funny telling anyone else. Besides if they found out I told you, I'd never get in. Sisko: Cadet, you are obviously under the mistaken impression that I am asking a favor. (increasingly hostile voice) Sisko: I want a name and I want it now and that is an order. Understood Mr Nog? Cadet Nog: Yes sir.
(Sisko interrogating a Cadet) Cadet: ... and our role would go unrecognized, at least for now. Sisko: Maybe if you had done your job right it would have. But you fouled it up didn't you? You cadets did some sloppy work some DAMN sloppy work.
Odo: Are you sure that you two returned to your original height? O'Brien: Why you asking? Odo: It's just that you both seem to be a couple of centimeters shorter. A changeling notices these sort of things. Quark: Actually now that I think about it, you both do seem a little on the petite side. Dr Julian Bashir: Infirmary (Both run to the infirmary) Quark: (to Odo) And they say you don't have a sense of humor. (Quark and Odo chuckle)
Elim Garak: Lying is a skill like any other and if you want to maintain a level of excellence you have to practice constantly. Worf: Practice on someone else.
Sisko: You get on my nerves, and I don't like your hat. Now put the gun down.
Weyoun: All this talk of gods strikes me as nothing more than superstitious nonsense. Damar: You believe that the Founders are gods, don't you? Weyoun: That's different. Damar: In what way? Weyoun: The Founders ARE gods.
Quark: The Jem Hadar don't eat, don't drink, and they don't have sex. And if that wasn't bad enough, the Founders don't eat, and don't drink, and they don't have sex, either. Which, between you and me, makes my financial future less than promising. Ziyal: It might not be so bad. For all we know the Vorta might be gluttonous, alcoholic sex maniacs.
Major Kira Nerys: What do Klingons dream about? Worf: Things that will send cold chills down your spine and wake you in the middle of the night. No, it is better that you do not know. Excuse me. (leaves) Major Kira Nerys: I can never tell when he's joking.
(Working for a scientist named Geiger, and also searching for a missing teddy bear) Jake Sisko: We're going to beard the lion in it's den. Cadet Nog: (Confused) Lions, Geigers, bears... Jake Sisko: Oh my.
O'Brien: So, let me get this straight: all we have to do is get past an enemy fleet, avoid a tachyon detection grid, beam into the middle of Klingon headquarters and avoid the Brotherhood of the Sword long enough to set these things up and activate them in front of Gowron? Worf: If we succeed, there will be many songs sung in our honor. O'Brien: Let's hope we're there to hear them.
Odo: Frankly, in my humble opinion, most of you humanoids spend far too much time on your respective mating rituals. Sisko: It does help the procreation of one's species. Odo: Procreation does not require changing how you smell or writing bad poetry or sacrificing various plants to serve as tokens of affection... in any event it's all irrelevant to me.
Gul Dukat: Major, I must say I'm shocked. You use my daughter to lure me here, you're asking me to risk my ship on some fool's errand into the Klingon Empire, and you're pregnant. I hope First Minister Shakaar appreciates what a lucky man he is. Major Kira Nerys: Shakaar's not the father. Gul Dukat: Then who is? Major Kira Nerys: Chief O'Brien.
Odo: You still haven't answered my question. Why did you decide to defect? Weyoun 6: I realize my place is with you. Odo: You can do better than that. Weyoun 6: Then let's just say I left Cardassia because my life was in danger. Odo: From whom? Weyoun 6: Everyone. Odo: Aren't you being a little paranoid? Weyoun 6: Of course I'm paranoid, everyone's trying to kill me.
O'Brien: How could he do this to me? How could he leave me adrift, mid-river, without a paddle? Rom: What river would that be? O'Brien: You know, the Great Material Continuum. Rom: That river. It can be very treacherous. O'Brien: Tell me about it. Well, I suppose the good news is with Nog gone, nothing else can go missing.
Jadzia Dax: So, what do you plan on doing for the next couple of hours? Sisko: I hadn't given it much thought. Jadzia Dax: Maybe now would be a good time to contact your father. Sisko: Maybe. Jadzia Dax: Benjamin, you haven't spoken to him for months. And Jake is his grandson. Sisko: How do I explain that I evacuated every Federation citizen off Deep Space Nine except his grandson? Jadzia Dax: You'll think of something. You always do.
Gul Dukat: A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness. Weyoun: Then you kill them? Gul Dukat: ... Only if it's necessary.
Ensign Nog: Can you believe it? They made me an ensign. O'Brien: I didn't realize things were going so bad. Ensign Nog: Scary, isn't it?
Odo: It's a pity it doesn't have any bubbles.
Worf: May glory and honor follow you on your journey.
O'Brien: I hate prototypes.
Liam Bilby: Let me ask you something. Back home, where ever that is... you got a family? O'Brien: Yeah. Liam Bilby: Good. After all, that's the most important thing.
Worf: There is an ancient Klingon proverb that says, "You cannot loosen a man's tongue with root beer."
(Quark's cousin has tried to kill him earlier) Quark: I'm innocent, I tell ya! This is all a misunderstanding! Rom, get me a lawyer! Rom: I'll call Cousin Gaila. I'm sure he'll know a good one. Quark: (as he's being dragged away) ROM, YOU IDIOT! Rom: (grins) See you in a few weeks, brother!
Elim Garak: Human memory is selective and linear. Simply put, a human remembers the best of times in progressive order, beginning with the earliest childhood. The rosy memories are only challenged by nightmares. A Cardassian remembers everything on every level all the time. For us, past and present are not neatly separated. We live with everything in the moment - including the nightmares. And so do you.
Sisko: Where's Tolar? Elim Garak: I've locked him in his room. I've also given him the distinct impression that if he tries to force the door open, it may explode. Sisko: I hope that's *just* an impression. Elim Garak: ... It's best not to dwell on such things, Captain.
Elim Garak: If you will please let your anger subside for a moment, Captain, you will see that they did NOT die in vain! The Romulans will join the war! Sisko: There's no guarantee of that! Elim Garak: Oh, I think there is. You see, when the Romulans are finished looking through the remains of Vreenak's shuttle, they will discover a data rod that miraculously survived the explosion, and on that data rod, the plans of the invasion of Romulus were being made. Sisko: And then they will discover that it is a fraud! Elim Garak: No, I don't think they will! Because any imperfections in the data rod will be attributed to damage by the bomb! And so, with a seemingly genuine data rod in one hand, and a dead senator in the other, I ask you, Captain, what conclusions would you draw? Sisko: (sighs) That Vreenak obtained the data rod at the peace conference, and that the Dominion killed him in order to prevent him from returning to Romulus with it.
(Nog has chosen Vic Fontaine's holoprogram as his Rehab) Ezri Dax: At first, it struck me as a little... peculiar. But after I thought it over, I began to think that maybe this is a good sign after all. Quark: How can hiding in one of Julian's adolescent programs be a good sign? Dr Julian Bashir: Hey... Jake Sisko: It could be worse. He could be hiding in the Alamo program. Leeta: Or that ridiculous secret agent program. Dr Julian Bashir: Hey. Rom: Or that stupid Viking program. Dr Julian Bashir: HEY!
Keevan: I assume you've brought along one of those famed Star Fleet engineers, who can turn rocks into replicators.
Quark: Everybody, meet Keevan. Rom: Hi. I'm Rom, and this is Nog, and this is Brunt, and... Quark: Rom, he doesn't care. Keevan: Truer words have never been spoken. Anyway, I'd advise all of you to say goodbye to your loved ones and make your last wills. Because as soon as we've left this station, you all will have signed your death sentences. Now, if anyone doesn't mind, I'm going to take a nap.
(trying to negotiate with a group of Ferengi) Yelgrun: And I thought the Breen were annoying.
(Dax is trying to work, but Virak'kara, a Jem'Hadar, is staring at her) Jadzia Dax: You've been staring at me for the last hour. Virak'kara: You are in my unit. I must learn all I can about you if we are to survive. Jadzia Dax: Maybe you should stop for a while, get some sleep. Virak'kara: We don't sleep. Jadzia Dax: Well, then, something to eat? Virak'kara: The white provides all we need. Jadzia Dax: No sleep, no food... I'm glad I'm not a Jem'Hadar woman. Virak'kara: There are no Jem'Hadar women. Jadzia Dax: Then how do you reproduce? Virak'kara: We are born in birthing chambers. And we can fight within three days of emerging! Jadzia Dax: So, no sleep, no food, no women. After forty or fifty years of that, I'd be ready to kill someone too. Virak'kara: No Jem'Hadar has ever lived that long. Most of us only last a few years in battle. Jadzia Dax: Well, how old are you? Virak'kara: (proudly) I am eight. Jadzia Dax: I would have thought you were at least fifteen. Virak'kara: Few Jem'Hadar live that long. Those of us that reach twenty are considered honored elders. (leans in) Virak'kara: How old are you? Jadzia Dax: I stopped counting after three hundred. Virak'kara: ... You don't look it. Jadzia Dax: Thank you.
Major Kira Nerys: Yellow alert? Against our own imaginations?
(Mrs Troi has lost a piece of jewelry and is accusing Quark of theft, grabbing his ears) Quark: Ow! My Ears! Lwaxana Troi: Yes, and I know where it hurts the most, you little troll.
(Bajoran survivors of a Cardassian labor camp have gathered on DS9) Quark: Who are they? Odo: Survivors of Galatep Quark: Galatep... imagine living through that hellhole... the pain... the sorrow. Do you suppose they like to gamble?
(Bashir has been assigned to chaperone a trio of visiting diplomats) Sisko: Cheer up, Doctor. If you do well, it could help your career. Dr Julian Bashir: Another hour with them could destroy my career! Sisko: It's a simple assignment: just keep them happy, and away from me. Dr Julian Bashir: Simple? They are never happy! They are dedicated to being UN-happy, and to spreading that unhappiness wherever they go! They are the Ambassadors of Unhappiness!
Dr Julian Bashir: Were you ever assigned to do this kind of work, Commander? Sisko: As a matter of fact, Curzon Dax used to take perverse pleasure in subjecting me to just this sort of assignment. Dr Julian Bashir: I see, and now you take the same perverse pleasure in subjecting me to it. Sisko: Exactly.
(hostage exchange negotiations with the Dominion went badly) Gaila: I've risked my life, and for what? You've had this coming for a long time, cousin! (Gaila fires a phaser at Quark and instead hits Keevan, their hostage) Keevan: I... hate Ferengi. (Dies) Quark: (to Gaila) You idiot!
Dr Julian Bashir: So is that what we have become? A 24th century Rome, driven by nothing other the certainty that Caesar can do no wrong?
Dr Julian Bashir: So what did you learn? O'Brien: That you should never match drinks with a Klingon. Dr Julian Bashir: But what did you and Worf talk about? O'Brien: A lot of things. His son, Alexander; growing up in Russia; the proper way to eat gagh... Quark: But what does that have to do with Jadzia? O'Brien: Nothing! It wasn't until oh-three hundred, when we were polishing off the fourth bottle of blood wine that he even mentioned Jadzia!
(during a baseball game, the umpire didn't make a call after a player scored) Nog: What? What happened? O'Brien: He didn't touch home, Nog! Nog: Well, what do I do? Worf: Find him and kill him!
Odo: You're still disgusting! Quark: Wouldn't have it any other way!
Odo: Ladies and gentlemen... and all androgynous creatures: please stop using your imaginations!
(Worf's young descendent is awestruck by him) Young Klingon: (awestruck) Are you the son of Mogh? Worf: Yes. Young Klingon: (awestruck) Is it true you can kill someone just by looking at them? Worf: Only when I am angry.
(Dukat is dominating Sisko during a final confrontation in the Fire Caves) Sisko: You are pathetic! Gul Dukat: (smirking) Then why are you the one on your knees? Sisko: First the Dominion, now the Pagh Wraiths. You have a talent for picking the losing sides... (Sisko cries out in pain) Gul Dukat: Benjamin, please! We've known each other too long. And since this is the last time we will ever be together, let's try to speak honestly. We've both had our victories and our defeats. Now it's time to resolve our differences and face the ultimate truth: I've won, Benjamin... you've lost. Sisko: (defiantly in pain) The Pagh Wraiths will never conquer ANYTHING. Not Bajor, not the Celestial Temple, and certainly not the Alpha Quadrant! Gul Dukat: And who's going to stop us? Sisko: (in pain) I am! Gul Dukat: (chuckling) You can't even stand up.
(Odo has refused to say a final farewell to Quark) Quark: (confidently to Kira) That man loves me. Couldn't you see? It was written all over his back.
Gul Dukat: I should have killed every last one of them! I should have turned their planet into a graveyard the likes of which the galaxy has never seen! I should have killed them all... (Sisko clubs him over the head with a metal pole) Sisko: And that's why you're not an evil man.
(Odo discovers an aged Klingon entered his office undetected while his back was turned) Odo: How did you get in here? Koloth: I am Koloth. Odo: That doesn't answer my question. Koloth: Yes, it does.
Sisko: We will fight, and we will keep on fighting, until we can't fight anymore!
(Sisko is trying to arrest a former security officer turned traitor) Odo: Sir, have you ever reminded Starfleet Command that they stationed Eddington here because they didn't trust me? Sisko: No. Odo: Please do.
Vash: They weren't exactly thrilled to see you on Brax, either. What do they call you there? "The God of Lies"? Q: They meant it affectionately.
(the crew has gone back in time to the 23rd century) Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: Maybe we should beam over to the station to help Odo and Worf... we know Darvin was there a few hours ago. Sisko: I think it might be better if we let Chief O'Brien and Dr Bashir go. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: But if we went... we might run into Koloth. Sisko: Exactly. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: (pleading) It's not as if he would recognize me! I'd love to see him at his prime! Sisko: Dax... Sisko: (Dax is disappointed and visibly sulking) Major, beam the Chief and the doctor to K-7 and fill them in. Major Kira Nerys: (on communicator) Aye, sir. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: (pouting) It would have been fun. Sisko: Too much fun!
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: (Sisko and Dax are hiding on Kirk's Enterprise) I had no idea. Sisko: What? Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: He's so much more handsome in person. Those eyes! Sisko: Kirk had quite the reputation as a ladies' man. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: Not him. Spock! Sisko: (drags Jadzia away) Let's go!
(Sisko is posing as a crewmember on Kirk's Enterprise) Sisko: Excuse me, Captain. Here's tomorrow's duty roster for your approval. Captain James T. Kirk: Very well, Lieutenant... Sisko: Benjamin Sisko, sir. I've been on temporary assignment here. Before I leave, I just wanted to say... it's been an honor serving with you, sir. Captain James T. Kirk: All right, Lieutenant, carry on.
(a Jem'Hadar soldier is fighting Worf in the arena, and winning) Ikat'ika: I yield. Deyos: You WHAT? Ikat'ika: I yield! I cannot defeat this Klingon - I can only kill him. And that no longer holds my interest.
(about the Dominion) Ornithar: All I know is, the Vorta tell you to do something, and you do it. Because if you do not, they will send in the Jem'Hadar... and then you die.
Quark: I think I figured out why humans don't like Ferengi ... Sisko: Not now, Quark. Quark: The way I see it, humans used to be a lot like Ferengi: greedy, acquisitive, interested only in profit. We're a constant reminder of a part of your past you'd like to forget. Sisko: Quark, we don't have time for this. Quark: You're overlooking something. Humans used to be a lot worse than Ferengi: slavery, concentration camps, interstellar war. We have nothing in out past that approaches that kind of barbarism. You see? We're nothing like you... we're better.
Sisko: Wait till you get four pips on that collar. You'll wish you had gone into botany!
Admiral Bill Ross: The Romulan Flagship's been destroyed, their entire line's collapsing. Sisko: We have to hit back! Admiral Bill Ross: With what? Ben we're losing too many ships, we've got to find a way to turn the Dominion's left flank. Sisko: It's too well-protected. But their lines are spread pretty thin in the centre - it might be possible to break through. Admiral Bill Ross: Agreed. You help the Romulans - Martok and I will take the centre. Sisko: Understood. Dax - have attack wings twenty-five and twenty-six follow us. Ezri Dax: Aye sir!
Quark: (Rom has explained how he'll save their lives with a long string of technobabble) Rom! You're a genius! Rom: You think so? Quark: How should I know? I have no idea what you just said.
Female Shapeshifter: (the Cardassians have turned against the Dominion) I want the Cardassians exterminated. Weyoun: Which ones? Female Shapeshifter: All of them. The entire population. Weyoun: That may... take some time. Female Shapeshifter: Then, I suggest you begin at once.
Gul Dukat: (Dukat is trying to dispel Sisko's idea that the Cardassians "suicided" a Marquis prisoner) A good interrogator doesn't allow his subject to die; you lose the advantage.
Quark: What makes you think she *wants* to spend eternity in Sto-Vo-Kor? I know I wouldn't. Imagine what it must be like. Hoards of rampaging Klingons - fighting and singing, sweating and belching. O'Brien: Sound like this place on a Saturday night. Quark: Exactly! Would *you* want to spend eternity here?
Ezri Dax: It's a strange sensation, dying. No matter how many times it happens to you, you never get used to it.
Odo: (after Quark informs Odo that The Circle is being supplied with weapons from the Kressari and Odo tells him to get more information) Quark, I hate to do this, but I guess I'll have to. Quark: That's not fair. Odo: I haven't done anything yet. Quark: Whatever you're going to do, it's not fair. Odo: You're a deputy. Quark: It's not - what? Odo: You're a deputy. I want you to find out where the weapons are going on Bajor. Meanwhile, I'm going to find out exactly where they're coming from. Quark: You and me, a team? Odo: That's right. Quark: (laughing loudly) Goodbye. Odo: Either that or I'm putting you in a cell. Quark: That's not fair. On what charges? Odo: Impeding an investigation. Unless you want to reveal the identities of the people you've been talking to. Quark: You know I can't do that. Odo: It's your choice. You're a deputy or you're a prisoner. Quark: (with fake enthusiasm) I'm a deputy.
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: By the way, what does... "gung-gung-gung" mean? Worf: (suddenly intrigued) Why do you ask? Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: It was the strangest thing. When I was taking Yoshi home, he kept shaking his rattle and saying "gung-gung-gung." Worf: (brightening) He did? Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax: He seemed to be getting a kick out of it. What does it mean? Worf: That is between Yoshi and me.
Quark: No-one's hiding, no-one's escaping, and no-one's surrendering! What's the matter with you people? Have you forgotten the Battle of Prexnak? Rom: Who could forget the most important battle in Ferengi history? Quark: Ten Ferengi stood alone against two hundred and seventy-three Lytasians. Gaila: As I recall, all ten Ferengi were slaughtered. Rom: The point is, we Ferengi are just as tough as anybody in the galaxy. And this is our chance to prove it once and for all. Leck: Quark's right. Let's do it for Ishka. Let's do it for the Grand Nagus. Let's do it for Ferengis everywhere Brunt: Let's do it for an equal share of fifty bars of gold-pressed latinum. That they can all agree on. Gaila: It always comes down to profit with you people, doesn't it? Brunt: We're Ferengi. Quark: And that's why I love you. Fifty bars it is. Minus my usual finder's fee.
Odo: (calling out) Kira! Major Kira Nerys: (angry) I have nothing to say to you! Odo: Major, I know you're angry... Major Kira Nerys: Oh, you bet I'm angry. Do you have any idea what's going on? Odo: Yes... well, sort of. I've been... occupied. Major Kira Nerys: Dukat is bringing down the mine field, the Federation fleet is about to be overrun by Dominion reinforcements and Weyoun has ordered Rom's execution and you have been occupied? Odo: I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Major Kira Nerys: Sorry? That's all you have to say? Well, let me tell you something. We are way, way past sorry.
O'Brien: Somebody has to teach you officers the difference between a warp matrix flux capacitor and a self-sealing stem bolt.