Space Cowboys

2000

Bob Gerson: I can't fill up a space shuttle with geriatrics!

Frank Corvin: Clock's ticking, Bob. And I'm only getting older.

Sara Holland: I have never met a kid who didn't dream of being an astronaut when he grew up. Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Did you ever meet a kid who didn't grow up?

Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: What is a pancreas, anyhow? I mean, I don't know what the damn thing does for you, besides give you cancer.

Frank Corvin: Well, what do you say, Reverend? You think a prayer's in order? Tank Sullivan: I was just reciting the Shepard's Prayer. Alan Shepard's prayer. Please God, don't let us screw up. Amen.

Tiny, Bar Bouncer: I'll put you in the hospital old man. Frank Corvin: Yeah? Well I've got MediCare, go ahead and shoot your best shot!

Barbara Corvin: Would you like me to read the instructions to you again? Frank Corvin: Let me tell you something, my dear. Those instructions were written by a fellow in Japan when they made this damn thing. They were probably translated by some gringo who was an expatriate American that couldn't get a job in this country. And then the Japanese guy probably translated him just to double check on him. You don't need these instructions. Not at all. Tear them up.

(Frank and Hawk are asking a waitress who she would prefer to 'take home') Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Would you prefer this man, with his asymmetrical sagging ass-cheeks, his love-handles the size of Nebraska, and his oh-so-ugly in-grown toenail... ? Frank Corvin: (interrupting) Or this son of a bitch with the chicken-gizzard neck and the face that looks like thirty miles of Death Valley fire trail?

Bob Gerson: Francis D. Corvin. Sara Holland: Is he dead? Bob Gerson: Only if I'm lucky.

Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Have you noticed how everybody seems to be dead lately?

Frank Corvin: This is Jerry O'Neill. Sara Holland: No nickname for you? Jerry O'Neill: You can call me (kisses her hand) anytime.

Jerry O'Neill: I'm an engineer! I stopped running when Nixon was president!

Frank Corvin: You know what the worst day of my life was? The day Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. I was probably the only person in America who wanted to commit suicide that day. Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Well, thanks a lot Frank. We haven't spoken in twelve years and that's basically been the big question on my mind, what could make you commit suicide.

(the younger astronauts have given Team Daedalus some Ensure as a gag) Jerry O'Neill: I'd drink this. It's good for your libido.

Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: What are you doing here? Frank Corvin: Keeping a promise I made years ago. Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Was that the promise you made to kill me or the promise you made to have both my legs broke?

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: Space will never be the same.

(challenging Frank to fight) Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Okay, bad guy, we're taking this outside! I want to whip your asymmetrical sagging ass! Get out there in that parking lot! (Frank and Hawk step outside) Jerry O'Neill: Here we go again... Tank Sullivan: I've got ten on Frank!

(the crew are guests on the Tonight show) Jay Leno: Now you all have military backgrounds... North or South?

Frank Corvin: You mean you got me up here as a way of saving your own ass?

Frank Corvin: My only hope is that whatever doesn't burn up lands on Gerson's house.

Young Pilot #1: Hey, Hawk. This guys wants a scary ride. Jason: It's my birthday! Col William 'Hawk' Hawkins: (pause) Happy birthday.

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