Sour Grapes

1998

(Talking about Richie) Evan: You know what he's doing now? He's probably in the back of that limo, giving himself a blow job. Joan: What? Evan: Oh, yeah. He can blow himself. He's double-jointed. Joan: (in disgust) Men!

Mr Bell: I'll tell you another thing; you're not a good sole designer. Richie: Hey! I'm a great sole designer. Great! Mr Bell: No, you're not. Richie: That's your opinion. Mr Bell: That's right. Richie: Well, we disagree. Mr Bell: Yes, we do. Richie: Well, you take care of yourself. Mr Bell: I intend to. Richie: I'm sure you do. Mr Bell: Why wouldn't I? Richie: No reason. Mr Bell: So... why bring it up? Richie: Just trying to be nice. Mr Bell: (sarcastically) Oh, my mistake. Richie: I'd say so.

Richie: What are you doing tonight? Evan: I don't know. Nothing. How about you? Richie: I don't know. Roberta's out of town. I'll probably just go home and blow myself.

(after bumping into each other) Richie: Well, well, well. What the hell are you doing here? Evan: What the hell you think I'm doing here? Richie: Hey, that was quite a joke, really. Really good going! Evan: Well, I sure as hell didn't think you'd give some bum the keys to your house so you can scare the shit out of your mother! Richie: You know I could have your license revoked for a stunt like that. Evan: Well, I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't offered me *three* percent! Richie: Three percent happened to be a very generous offer! I didn't have to offer you anything! Evan: They were my quarters! Richie: It was my machine! Evan: Don't you touch me! Richie: I didn't touch you! Evan: And don't point that finger--! Richie: I'll point it! Evan: I'll point too!

Selma Maxwell: (making soup at the stove, to son Richie) This won't take long. ... little salt, a little peppah-deppah. Awww. Who else knows how much you love peppah-deppah? No one. No *one*! (singing) There is a lay-dee / Who likes lovely bay-zhil / And this lovely basil lady / Came to town

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