Someone Like You...
2001
Jane: What is on your neck? Eddie: I bit myself shaving.
Eddie: Never underestimate casual sex Jane, it can be very liberating.
Jane: What are you thinking? Eddie: You and Ray will live happily ever after with matching volvos and chocolate labs. Jane: Did you have *any* friends growing up?
Eddie: These are *people* not cows!
Jane: Man, She really did a number on you didn't she? Well, don't shit on my broken heart just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism! Eddie: It's called self-preservation. Jane: Oh, in other words, your narcotize yourself with casual sex.
Jane: There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.
Ray: What's that they say about the love of a good woman? Jane: (narrating) That once offered, it's guaranteed to come back and bite her in the ass.
Liz: Time wounds all heels.
Jane: Do you promise not to laugh? Eddie: No.
Liz: So I call him up to say good night and guess who answers the phone 1AM PARIS TIME? Penelope Pope! Jane: Who's Penelope Pope? Liz: I don't know, but that's what she said when I asked "Who the FUCK is this?"
Eddie: It's over. Why can't you just let it go? Jane: I can't. Eddie: Why? Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie, they leave me. Eddie: I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again.
Ray: You're so easy to talk to, unlike my current cow.
(Eddie shows Jane his apartment) Jane: Do we have to share a bathroom? Eddie: Oh no, I never ever use the bathroom.
Liz: Wow, there's the cynical bitch we know and love.
(Eddie smokes a cigarette) Staff: Excuse me, this is a smoke free place. Eddie: Blow me.
Jane: You know, that's why God invented turtlenecks. Eddie: No, that's why God invented Darlene.