Sleeper
1973
Miles Monroe: I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almost be cured by now.
Miles Monroe: I'm what you would call a teleological, existential atheist. I believe that there's an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.
Luna Schlosser: I think we should have had sex, but there weren't enough people.
Herald Cohen: That's deep! You're SO obviously influenced by McKuen.
Luna Schlosser: I'm great physically. I got a Ph.D. in oral sex. Miles Monroe: Yeah, they make you take any Spanish with that?
Miles Monroe: Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
(last lines) Luna Schlosser: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh? Miles Monroe: Right. Luna Schlosser: So then, what do you believe in? Miles Monroe: Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.
Miles Monroe: My brain! It's my second favorite organ!
(a 22nd century historian shows Miles a videotape of Howard Cosell) Historian: We weren't sure at first what to make of this, but we developed a theory: we feel that when people committed great crimes against the state, they were forced to watch this. Miles Monroe: Yes. That's exactly what it was.
Miles Monroe: When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies." She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.
(Miles holds a gun to a disembodied nose) Miles Monroe: Don't take another step or the president gets it between the eyes.
Miles Monroe: Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you, if you like. Luna Schlosser: Okay. I just thought you might want to; they have a machine here. Miles Monroe: Machine? I'm not getting into that thing. I, I'm strictly a hand operator; you know, I, I... I don't like anything with moving parts that are not my own.
Luna Schlosser: It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for 200 years. Miles Monroe: 204, if you count my marriage.
Luna Schlosser: Miles, do you know that "God" spelled backwards is "dog"? Miles Monroe: So? Luna Schlosser: It makes you think. Miles Monroe: Luna, help me push the car.
Miles: You're a sucker. What you didn't realize is that you're dealing with one of the greatest minds you've ever seen. Luna: Yeah, and his isn't so bad either!
Miles Monroe: We're here to see the nose. I hear it was running.
Miles Monroe: I'm Not Really The Heroic Type. I was beat up by Quakers.
Dr Melik: (puzzling over list of items sold at Miles' old health-food store) ... wheat germ, organic honey and... tiger's milk. Dr Aragon: Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties. Dr Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge? Dr Aragon: (chuckling) Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true. Dr Melik: Incredible!
Miles Monroe: Where am I anyhow, I mean, what happened to everybody, where are all my friends? Dr Aragon: You must understand that everyone you knew in the past has been dead nearly two hundred years. Miles Monroe: But they all ate organic rice!
(Miles gets to look at some pictures to identify the people on them) Miles Monroe: This was Josef Stalin. He was a communist, I was not too crazy about him, had a bad mustache, lot of bad habits. This is Bela Lugosi. he was, he was the mayor of New York city for a while, you can see what it did to him there, you know. This is, uhm, this is, uh, Charles DeGaulle, he, he was a very famous French chef, had his own television show, showed you how to make souflets and omelettes and everything.
Luna Schlosser: You were screaming out different names in your sleep. Miles Monroe: I was having sexual nightmares.
Miles Monroe: I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Miles Monroe: You remind me of Lisa Sorenson Luna Schlosser: Who? Miles Monroe: An old girlfriend from the village. A Trotskyite, who became a Jesus freak, and was arrested for selling pornographic connect-the-dot books.