Second Best

2004

Elliot: You know, I still can't picture you two having sex. Paula: Oh, wait a minute! You can't picture me *making love* with my successful, clean-shaven husband, who wears Paul Stuart suits, but you can see me jumping into bed with a guy that I have to lend money to, pay alimony to, who hasn't washed that tee-shirt since, like, Christmas? Elliot: Chanukah. George: See you, Elliot. Paula: See you, George. (George leaves) Elliot: Bet he never gave you eight orgasms. Paula: Oh Elliot, when are you going to realize sex is only part of a well-integrated life? Besides, half of those were faked. Elliot: Four is not so bad!

Elliot: (to gay son Danny) So, ummm: Pussy! What d'ya say? Danny: Uhhh... Elliot: Danny, pussy's not so bad. Just like an asshole, it's smooth, it's silky, AND... it doesn't chafe. Danny: You seem to know a lot about assholes, Pop. Elliot: Been one all my life.

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