Scenes from a Mall
1991
(looking for his car in the mall parking garage) Nick Fifer: Where's my fucking Saab?
(After tough negotiations with a tennis prodigy's mother.) Nick Fifer: I think Mrs Fong is Jewish.
(On mimes.) Nick Fifer: These guys are worse than Hare Krishnas!
(Deborah wants to give Nick his Christmas present.) Deborah Fifer: I have something to get you out of your midlife crisis. Nick Fifer: That can only mean a full-body vibrator!
Nick Fifer: How many 16th anniversaries does a person have in a lifetime? One... maybe two.
(Nick's given Deborah a family photo with an antique frame.) Nick Fifer: I had to have it engraved, because I could never remember your name.
(On an affair Nick had.) Nick Fifer: I liked her. I loved the sex. Deborah Fifer: (scornful) Oh. So, you LOVE me, but you only LIKE the sex.
Nick Fifer: Well, now I feel like the scumbag of all time. Deborah Fifer: You are.
Nick Fifer: I don't know how our marriage lasted. Deborah Fifer: Mutual death wish.
Nick Fifer: Your constant interrupting of me... Deborah Fifer: Please! In sixteen years, I've never finished a sentence.
Deborah Fifer: No alimony, no special stipends, just plain child support - a LOT of it.
Deborah Fifer: How about those two beautiful creatures? Think you can handle them? Nick Fifer: Handle them? I can salivate over them.
Deborah Fifer: I betrayed you? You betrayed me! What about your seven month adventure with a girl named Ed?
Nick Fifer: You look like my Aunt Minna in that dress!
Deborah Fifer: Do you really hate this dress? Nick Fifer: What I really hate is this jacket, this white jacket. I look like a Brazilian gigolo.
Nick Fifer: Eleven hundred bucks for Sushi already. That's a lot of dead fish.
(Last lines.) Nick Fifer: (defensive) Am I the kind of guy who loses his temper? Deborah Fifer: Please! You smashed the mime in the jaw! Nick Fifer: (defensive) I gave him 100 bucks...
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