Saved by the Bell: The College Years
1993
Kelly: Zack, what do you want from me? Zack: I... I-I want you to marry me. Kelly: What?
(AlexX chickens out on getting a tattoo) Alex: I couldn't do it. You're not mad, are you? Slater: Of course I'm mad! I got this dumb, idiotic tattoo for YOU. Alex: I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. What do you want me to do? Slater: I'll tell you what I want you to do. You and I are gonna go to the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival next weekend. We're gonna see every movie he ever made. Alex: Even "Rocky"? Slater: Yup, 1 through 5. Alex: I'll go get the tattoo.
Alex: Emotional? Women are not emotional!
Leslie: Come on Alex lets go do something only women can do. Alex: Yeah, lets go... give birth.
Alex: Life is so unfair. I have to lose two pounds within a few days! Kelly: C'mon, two pounds is not going to hurt you. Screech: Oh yeah? That's what Delta Burke said before she inhaled her first cheesecake.
Professor Hemmings: This is pathetic! I want every other row to stand up. (every other row stands) Professor Hemmings: This is how many of my students are going to fail my class - - fifty percent. Alex: Excuse me, Professor Hemmings, but... would that be the half that are sitting OR the half that are standing? Professor Hemmings: (smiles) We'll soon find out, won't we.
Zack: Well, hello ladies! Did you miss me? Leslie: As much as I miss my acne.
(Zack and Kelly are getting married) Dean Susan McMann: (on phone) Hello, Reverend Dunlap. I would like to make a reservation in the school chapel for the Kawposki-Morris Wedding. (listening) Well then, bump the professor's funeral. He'll keep 'till Monday!
(the Reverend walks in on a wild stripper bachelor party) Rev. Dunlap: You know what? Maybe I should come back another time. Zack: Oh that would be great! How about Monday? Rev. Dunlap: I was thinking more around the lines of ten years - - when you've all had a chance to grow up! Screech: I knew we should have gone with Barney.
Zack: (waiting for Kelly, but Slater walks in) Geez... I thought you were Kelly. Slater: If I were Kelly, I'd put on something skimpy and stare at myself in the mirror. Zack: That's what you do NOW.
Leslie: Hi, Screech. What are you doing? Screech: Hi, Leslie. I'm just watching the T.V. Leslie: But the T.V. is turned off. Screech: Oh I know, I'm just watching the T.V.
Zack: Kelly, you can't be serious. I mean, if you go on this semester-at-sea program, you'll be at sea... for a semester! Dean Susan McMann: (sarcastic shock) And you're only a freshmen?
Zack: Well, I've thought about it long and hard, and I've decided that I'm gonna ask Kelly if we could date exclusively. Slater: Exclusively? Wait a minute... you mean as in - - only? Zack: Yeah. Slater: Are you crazy? Zack: I know, I know. It was a shock to me at first too, but I'm sure about this. Slater: Oh, no! This is terrible. When Alex hears about this, SHE'LL wanna date exclu -... exclu -... man I can't even say the word!
Slater: Alex, I have to tell you something. I went to the car show with... (suddenly lies) ... Chris... Leslie: (finishes name) ... tee. Slater: No thanks, I'm drinking orange juice.
Screech: You've got one more test, Zack. Zack: What? They've tested everywhere they possibly can. Screech: Nope- there's just one more place.
Screech: Who wants their barrium? (Zack gets up and runs away) Screech: Aw, but it's cherry flavored.
Clara: You do that again, and I'm going to stick your head in the microwave.
Screech: You have Big Bird tattooed on your butt! Mike Rogers: No, it's, aaah, Tweety Bird. Screech: Yes, but that sure is one big bird!
Slater: Has anybody ever been to a funeral before? Screech: I have. Slater: What are you supposed to do? Screech: Well, all the loved ones gathered around the grave. Then we put his rubber chew toys and his bowl in with him and buried him under his favorite tree. Alex: Awww... how old was your dog? Screech: What dog? I'm talking about Grampa Powers.