Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell
2002 (TV)
Alex Trebek: Let's just go to "Animal Sounds" for $600. This is the sound a doggy makes. (Sean Connery buzzes in) Alex Trebek: Mr Connery. Sean Connery: Moo. Alex Trebek: No. Sean Connery: Well, that's the sound your mother made last night!
Devil: There's a guy name Fred and he's got a pair of slacks. Oooh-Fred's got slacks. There long and a little tight in the waist. Ooh-Fred's got slacks on the boulevard.
Bruce Dickinson: Guess what! I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cow bell!
Devil: (singing) Fast car... on the highway. On the byway, Mr Robotron!
Harry Caray: Hey! Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?
Will Ferrell: Well it's Thanksgiving time! It's such a great day now! Turkey and bread and plenty of stuffing! Chris Kattan: It's Thanksgiving time! It's time for Jell-O! Watch some T.V. maybe have some grape Kool-Aid! Chris Kattan: Oooooh! I think I dig your stuff! Will Ferrell: I think I dig your stuff! Will Ferrell: Well it's Thanksgiving time! I love your new blazer! Your sleeves are pushed up it looks pretty awesome! Chris Kattan: Well thank you my friend! Your so kind to say so! Your eyes are so blue, I think that I like them! Will Ferrell: Well it's Thanksgiving time! Let's go get a burger! Maybe some fries! Let's go take a car ride! Chris Kattan: Go to a motel! Drink a gallon of brandy! Hang out in robes and see what develops! Chris Kattan: Oooooh! I think I dig your stuff! Will Ferrell: I think I dig your... (They Kiss) (Note: This is from Vol. 2)
Devil: I'm the Devil and i'm here to say that i'm the most evil rapper in the USA. All my homies and my bitches say ho!
Robert Goulet: Oh girl that dress is so scandolous, And you know another Nigga couldn't handle it. You see dumps like a truck, truck, truck Not like a what, what, what Baby move you butt,butt,butt I think I'll sing it again Sha bang, sha bop,bop bop. Thong Song
Dr Beaman: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. No, there's no "Mark" here. My name? It's Mark. No... I spell it with a C. Who put you up to this? What do you mean you're my "wife"? O-kay... if you're my "wife", what's our cat's name? Mr Stitches. Damn, you're good!
Bruce Dickinson: Easy, guys... I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time Bruce Dickinson: Except, when my pants are on, I make gold records
Alex Trebek: Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy". Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to ask our contestants once again to please refrain from using ethnic slurs. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery has set a new "Jeopardy" record with -$230,000. Sean Connery: You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Trebek? What with your Drago mustache and your greasy hair! Alex Trebek: Look, what did I just say about ethnic slurs? From "3rd Rock From the Sun", French Stewart in second place with -$17,000. French Stewart: I'm a late bloomer, Alex, and in Double Jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom! Alex Trebek: Sure you will. And finally, back again, Burt Reynolds in a commanding lead with $14. Burt Reynolds: Hey. Hey, ah... check out the podium. Look at this. Alex Trebek: Mr Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson. Burt Reynolds: Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name.
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, I'll take the condom thing for, uh... eight thou. Alex Trebek: That's "Condiments". For $400. "This condiment is made from mustard seeds". (Stewart buzzes in) French Stewart. French Stewart: The answer, of course, is onions. I'll take "Condiments" for $800, thank you... (buzzer sounds) Alex Trebek: That's not the right answer. (Reynolds buzzes in) Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds: That's not my name. Alex Trebek: Okay. Turd Ferguson. Burt Reynolds: (laughs) Yeah, what do ya want? Alex Trebek: You buzzed in! Burt Reynolds: No I didn't. Alex Trebek: Yes you did! Burt Reynolds: Yeah, well, that's your opinion.